Tag Archives: Zelina

Once Upon A Time, S6E20: “The Song In Your Heart”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Musical episode!  I do love a good musical.
  • I feel like the song Emma’s humming was a variant of “When You Wish Upon A Star,” but maybe it’s some contemporary song of which I know naught.
  • This is a remarkably philosophical youth group home.
  • Snow is all DON’T YOU WANT TO WEAR MY WEDDING DRESS and Emma is all “…k?”
  • I guess when Emma said they were going to wait to get married until the Black Fairy was taken care of, I thought that they were going to take a normal amount of time, like months-to-a-year, instead of the next day.
  • Dallas, getting a last shot at dress prince attire.
  • Actually, I’m not sure why he’s all dressed up, and Snow looks like she’s in a nightgown.  I guess you’d have to go back and watch the episode where they go talk to Rumple to see if it’s all in continuity.
  • Wow, Dallas has some pipes.
  • “Zootopia 2:  Frantic Pig Sings!”
  • Man, I love “Powerful Magic.”  I think Disney and musicals match so well with benign self-aware corn.
  • Hm.  I think that might have been a crappy dry cleaner.
  • Now, is there some reason why everyone can’t just pile in one of Regina’s station wagons and hightail it to New York where the curse wouldn’t work?
  • Hey they brought the mirror back!  And all the dwarfs and Geppetto!  Looking a little like a wrap-up when all the once-regulars start showing up.
  • Parilla is so game.
  • Emma, still not that good with the truthful part of her relationships.
  • Smee!  That’s a pretty deep cut.
  • Let’s us be real here.  I’m not sure there’s any particularly good reason for Snow and Charming to search out Hook, but it’s not like they’re going to have a big episode like this and not give O’Donoghue a number.
  • I feel like Hook should have his evil guyliner on for this.
  • I think O’Donoghue said he broke his foot standing on the chair in the beginning of this, which is pretty ouch.
  • I wonder if they were going to have him do more dancing, but after he broke his foot, just went for the lazy susan.
  • A fun number, but “Revenge” so far sounds a little more looped in afterwards than the others.
  • Hook never gets a break.
  • Henry doesn’t really get much of a part anymore.
  • Emma kept dragging that tape recorder around her entire life, and never once played that tape from childhood.
  • Love Robert Carlyle.  “You think the Dark One sings?  I’d rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty fork.”
  • Never was a huge fan of Zelina, but you have to admit that Bex Mader always gives it all she’s got.
  • Is there some reason Regina hasn’t placed protection spells over all their houses by now?
  • How did Emma know the Black Fairy was at Regina’s?
  • I guess it was nice that the Black Fairy just froze Hook instead of killing him.
  • Meanwhile, Henry is just kicking it at the office by himself.  “Yeah mom, tell me about how alone you are.”
  • There is nothing greater than the Evil Queen’s face when Snow and Charming start singing at her.
  • Lol.  The three of them look like they are trying desperately not to crack up.
  • Charming, who has the chance to kill Regina for the ninetieth time, but still just stands there and lets her do whatever to get out of it.
  • Nooo, not the voice-sucking machine!
  • If you didn’t need the big Zelina number, it would have made more sense that she got it from Ursula, but musical license.
  • I guess the Evil Queen didn’t want to just kill them while they were right there and defenseless.
  • I would put a protection spell on my heart, actually.
  • Ok, fun fact:  In real life, it’s not that good to drop someone’s heart on the floor.
  • I guess this is supposed to mirror the episode where Cora tried to rip out Emma’s heart yelling “LOVE IS WEAKNESS” and couldn’t do it because Emma countered “LOVE IS STRENGTH.”
  • The Black Fairy is all “I’m getting beat and I have to stand here and get sang at.”
  • I think it might have been more consistent if Emma had punctuated her first musical revelation with a right cross to the Black Fairy, but maybe they didn’t want to interrupt the song.
  • Zelina and Regina are all “I’ll just stand over here, then.”
  • SBARGE.
  • Doctor Hopper is the most underpaid guy in town, for all the work he does.
  • I guess Emma didn’t want to wear Snow’s Black Swan wedding dress.
  • Surely they will be Happy Forever After, getting married by Carth/Kaiden.
  • Whenever Hook picks her up, and they shoot from the back, I assume it’s a stand-in who doesn’t have a broken foot.
  • So here’s a thought:  Maybe, instead of getting married, they could have made another batch of the time-freezing potion and dropped it off on the watchtower?
  • HOLY CRAP, I just realized the song Emma’s singing/humming all the time is the Once Upon A Time theme song!

Once Upon A Time, S6E18: “Where Bluebirds Fly”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Zelina is always the first stop in town for Evil Masterminds looking for a dupe.
  • At least it looks like Snow’s hair is growing out a little.
  • Oh, back with Belle.  Glad she’s totally forgotten all the hideous things Rumple did and is happily back with him again for the umpteenth time.
  • “You couldn’t have known that your mother was pulling all the strings!”  Belle, that doesn’t actually make him putting the Blue Fairy into a coma ok.
  • The only reason the two of you aren’t dumping her body into the street to make way for a loveseat is that you need her now.
  • WOW, I didn’t realize Belle never told anyone they essentially killed Blue for Gideon.
  • Belle, you are a total hero.
  • Zelina:  The Wicked Witch of Bad Decision Making.
  • That’s right, Charming.  You are the poster child of the art of stepping away.
  • Wow.  Zelina hasn’t been a major part of the story for so long, she’s still angry over stuff from last season.
  • Regina is probably all “I got split in half since then, and had to share hearts with an evil version of myself.  I barely remember what you’re talking about anymore.”
  • Hook has apparently forgotten about the part where he already lost the Jolly Roger in a bet.
  • No Snow.  No one wants to get married in Granny’s Diner.
  • The woods, the shore…even Regina’s office would look better, for Heaven’s sake.
  • Because everyone wants to get married to the tunes of a jukebox.
  • WTH Charming with the Whale thing.  This seems like questionable timing.
  • It’s hard to get too invested in Regina and Zelina trapped in the mines when we know they can literally poof themselves anywhere in an instant.
  • OMG, just let her go Regina.  No matter which one loses, I think it’s a win.
  • Those fairy crystals maybe have a pituitary problem.
  • Good going Zelina.  Again.
  • “I just knew you’d make the wrong decision.”  The Black Fairy is all of us.
  • Charming is hoping they can wait a little until he can save up enough to pay for the wedding on a sheriff’s salary.
  • Ok, if the crimson heart was a worthless piece of glass, how was it sucking out Zelina’s magic?  Because that actually seems like something that could be pretty useful.
  • It is a truism of this show, that the eviler you are, the better you wardrobe is.
  • Zelina has that cool cape-poncho and heeled boots, while Emma’s stuck with that thrift-store coat with the flowers on the chest.
  • Maybe Zelina could have tried to break the Tin Man’s curse with her own magic?  Like, maybe either losing all her own magic, or leaving him to rust wasn’t the only option?
  • Emma’s all MEE TOO and Zelina’s all “listen up five, two tens are speaking.”
  • “I’m not proud of what I did, but I did what I thought was best for myself.”  Yes Belle, that is EXACTLY what heroes do.
  • Except in the last episode, where the whole lesson was that heroes do THE EXACT OPPOSITE of that.
  • Ugh, Belle is so much the enabler for Gold.  I can’t even look at her.

Once Upon A Time, S5E21: “Last Rites”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Hades and Zelena are so magical, it is raining everywhere but on them. 
  • Oh look, it’s that jerk Arthur. 
  • Look, they’re bonding over mutual evil. 
  • Ooh, that sounded like really bad chiropracty. Tough luck Arthur. 
  • Man, Merida is so awful. 
  • Zelina. Still continuing to back every wrong horse she sees. 
  • It is a truly sorry Underworld when the only person you can find to help you with your quest is the dude who killed you. 
  • This show is really not endearing Merida to me. 
  • Doesn’t Zelina think Regina is going to want her house back?
  • Emma’s not having a good day. 
  • Robin is apparently still grumpy at having sat out the first half of the season. 
  • Oh Rumple’s going to blame Emma for this whole thing. I don’t think she was around when you sold your kid, Rumple. 
  • That’s pretty good that Hook remembered the pages after all this. 
  • Hysterical!Emma! is kind of one-note. 
  • All his magic, and Rumple’s still using a flip phone. 
  • Wow, this scene is really making me think Robin’s going to eat it. 
  • Good thing the boat that was such a hot commodity back when Emma and Rumple needed one, was apparently just lying around when Hook needed it. 
  • Hook is pretty good to Arthur for having been killed by him. 
  • Emma and Zelena, doing a dive to the bottom of the barrel today. 
  • Yep. 
  • The Miller’s Granddaughters. Single again. 
  • You can do whatever you want Arthur. It’s not going to make up for you having date-raped your wife for years. 
  • Wow, Zeus is a lot younger than I would have thought. 
  • Zeus escorted Hook a whole three steps. 
  • Freaking Merida couldn’t even find a black dress. 
  • You know Snow, I think people are going to keep dying. You may have another day like today. 
  • Well, it’s kind of your fault for running off half-cocked all the time, but not all the way. 
  • Snow loves you Emma, but not enough to leave you the umbrella.
  • I feel like maybe Emma would have initially suspected this was a trick or a hallucination or something.
  • I guess Rumple went out for coffee this episode after threatening to kill Belle’s dad. 
  • Are you kidding me?! They knew this thing was powerful enough to kill a god, and they didn’t look for pieces?
  • Actually, why did Hades kill Arthur in the first place? What did that do except help Hook?
  • I suspect we may have some more discussion about villains never getting their happy endings again.
  • Although, Cruella seems pretty happy now.

Once Upon A Time, S5E19: “Sisters”

Royal Thunderdome: Two princes enter, One prince leaves.
Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • There are so few good things that are preceded by “I Don’t Want To Set The World On Fire.”
  • Didn’t Hades also know Zelina for about half an hour before he decided she was his true love?
  • I guess you don’t need much time to determine such things. 
  • Mini-Regina!
  • Shades of “Frozen.”
  • Time to visit the Rock Trolls. 
  • Like Zelina has ever been a master of rational thought. 
  • That’s right. Involving Cora is always a good idea. 
  • Not sure Rumple loses a lot of sleep over letting anyone down. 
  • Pretty sure the jury’s out on Cora’s “good witch” denomination. 
  • Oh, here we come. James on David showdown. 
  • Wow, that was a fast fight. 
  • Hey, remember when Emma could tell when people were lying? 
  • Maybe she lost that superpower when she got her other ones. 
  • It is amazing how much smarter the evil incarnations of people are. 
  • Asking Cora is also one of those things that is rarely a good idea. 
  • Man, Hook has more powers than anyone down here.
  • This really doesn’t seem like it’s going to end well with Zelina. 
  • Yep. 
  • This kind of seems like an abrupt turnaround for Cora. 
  • Remember when Emma had powers? 
  • Or before that, when she could take care of herself before she had any powers?
  • This family reunion may not end as well as the last one. 
  • James is gonna end up in the drink. 
  • Yep. 
  • If Cora’s so sad about leaving, why doesn’t she stay? It doesn’t seem like any thing’s demanding she take off now. 
  • The power of last-minute repentance. 
  • Dude takes his true love to Granny’s instead of the chicken and waffles place, he deserves what he gets. 
  • Oh Peter Pan!
  • I like him. He seems like such a nice kid. 

Once Upon A Time, S5E18: “Ruby Slippers”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I would have said while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Mulan is the most mirthless character. 
  • Dorothy is pretty grim as well. This is like a medley of unpleasant characters plus Ruby. 
  • I don’t entirely get Zelina’s train of logic all the time. She doesn’t seem to want to be Team Hades, but then she’s not looking to be part of Team Swan, either, and those are kind of the only games in town.
  • Well actually, Belle, you were protecting Rumple. The baby wasn’t really in the picture. 
  • It’s nice they overtly acknowledge Charming isn’t the alpha hero in this family. 
  • Why are they all sitting there letting Cruella rip out the phone? Like they have to observe her mayoral powers?  
  • I don’t think the Underworld is where I’d start obeying municipal authority. Just bean Claude with a rock–it’s not like you’re gonna kill him.
  • Zelina really isn’t that thrilled at the prospect of becoming as earnestly dull as Regina. 
  • Whenever Regina shows up to chat with Zelina, she’s stuck being the Snow/Emma, and Zelina gets to be the Regina.
  • I thought Ruby found her pack and had to kill her Mom to stop her from killing Snow?
  • I guess we’re not getting the big David/James throw-down. 
  • Ugh. The Belle-Zelena mutual pity party is pretty sad. 
  • Maybe y’all are in your respectively pitiful states because of bad decision-making, and not some malign fate. 
  • Charming and Hook are always a good pairing. 
  • How is Ruby not going to smell the poppy when it’s stuck in her waistband?
  • When you control your powers, you can transform with your clothes. 
  • Are you KIDDING me? There’s another place to eat in town and no one ever went there?
  • And it serves chicken and waffles?! 
  • The idea that everyone still hangs out at Granny’s when they could be having chicken and waffles is maybe the most unbelievable thing ever in OUAT. 
  • Taking away the chicken and waffles cements Hades as total evil. 
  • If past results are positive predictors, Mulan is possibly the worst person to give relationship advice. 
  • Wait. If Hook can change the names, why doesn’t he change them to Gold and Zelena and Belle, and the rest of them can take a powder?
  • Or even some Joe Blow who is already stuck there?
  • I feel we’re not taking full advantage of this power. 
  • For that matter, why can’t they use the slippers to go back and forth every day? Do they get used up?
  • Maybe this is when the PR tour for Zootopia started.
  • Didn’t Hades just say it wasn’t about Zelena?
  • There are some good hairdressers in Oz. 
  • It’s very romantic, until you remember Aunt Em became liquefied for this reunion. 
  • Like Rumple could stop Hades doing boo in the Underworld. 
  • Poor Belle. Her only hope of true love is the Dad who tried to marry her off for political reasons, and then kidnapped her and tried to give her amnesia. 

Once Upon A Time, S5E16: “Our Decay”

Spoiler Thoughts:
  • You know, Rebecca Mader gives it all she’s got, but Zelinda continues to not be my favorite character. 
  • This crazy/evil thing she’s got going is entertaining but starts to get one-note when she can’t seem to move past her abandonment issues. 
  • But that’s the same as all the villains, I think–Regina kind of stalled out for me when she kept flip-flopping back into evil because of Daniel, and Gold’s in danger of the same. It’s fun to see unabashed evil, but if it doesn’t go anywhere…it doesn’t go anywhere. 
  • Wow Dorothy. That was quite possibly the worst plan in the history of plans.
  • It’s a good thing Zelina suddenly forgot how to be effective. 
  • Gold can make portals? Wasn’t there roughly a jillion times where we really needed a portal and couldn’t get one?
  • Oh, and Zelina’s back in Storybrooke. Good thing she suddenly remembers to be competent when the plot requires it. 
  • Too bad we didn’t leave anyone with any power back in Storybrooke to protect against her. 
  • Blue is all “well that’s that. Peace and quiet at last.”
  • That’ll teach Zelina not to wear rubber soles. 
  • “No one loves you.” Ouch Hades. 
  • Hansel and Gretel’s witch is surprisingly helpful. She ought to have moved on by now. 
  • You tell them Henry. Like any of them are doing anything. 
  • “The Catch” is pretty repulsive looking. 
  • Everyone in Storybrooke celebrates their birthdays with a sad cupcake. 
  • Aw. Hades and Zelina bonded over their mutual vortices of perceived self-victimization. 
  • Oh wow, Rumple. Now might not be the time to go the full disclosure route. 
  • Yeah, this isn’t going well. 
  • Harsh truth times with Belle tonight. 
  • Belle, if you stay with him after all this, you are dumber than a sack of bricks. 
  • Regina, Evangelist for Good. 
  • This weird Shatner-esque delivery Hades keeps using is pretty distracting. 
  • Didn’t the bicycle actually belong to Elmira Gulch?
  • Robin the Credulous Hood. 
  • Wow, who could ever have predicted Zelina’s shocking betrayal. 
  • Serious? Those dudes couldn’t catch up to a limping woman in heels and a top hat?
  • It’s hard to think what Dorothy ever thought she could do against Zelina in the first place. 
  • Not being afraid of a homicidal lunatic when she’s got you paralyzed just shows a bad analysis of your situation, IMO. 
  • If all you needed was a baby for the spell, this doesn’t seem like the easiest one Hades could have gotten.
  • Everyone is as revolted by Zelina’s maudlin self-sacrifice as they were by her psychosis. 
  • Hades hasn’t really gotten out much. 
  • Oh wow. I can’t believe that they actually made me feel bad for Hades, putting the moves on Zelina. 
  • Oh Hades. If only there were someone who really loved you. 
  • This is the creepiest love scene ever, and it’s still more appealing than “The Catch.”

Once Upon A Time, S5E11: “Swan Song”

Ok, new Once Upon A Time tonight.  Time to catch up!

Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Wow, people had pretty crap fathers in Storybrooke. 
  • You can tell Emma’s getting good again, because her makeup is getting softer. 
  • Only evil girls wear bright red lipstick. That’s the law. 
  • Gold is kind of a downer here. 
  • Oh crap, I don’t remember Regina testing Hook. Did we see it already? Or are we going to flashback?
  • Oh, flashback. 
  • Because promises where you have to swear not to tell anyone ever always go well. 
  • Belle’s getting creeped out. 
  • Wow, Belle was all “thanks for the car. Bye bitches.”
  • Gold might be a hero, but still slow on the self-sacrifice scale. 
  • Oh man, I hope not Zelina. I think we’ve seen quite enough of you. 
  • I guess Granny took a powder after making the burgers?
  • This is apparently the family of good-looking guys who never get old. 
  • He fell in love while he was asleep?
  • That Mila is the source of all evil. 
  • Man, that was pretty slow-witted of Emma. 
  • Oh wow, that Neal is a cute baby. 
  • Ouch, Killian’s Dad. You could have at least made up a new bedtime motto.
  • Well that could have gone better. 
  • So Hook was able to turn it around with the memory of his Dad, but not with Emma?
  • Kinda deux ex machina, but ok. 
  • Poor Emma. 
  • Although if she had done this from the beginning, Merlin would still be alive. 
  • Nice that Storybrooke’s paramedics are still gainfully employed. 
  • Belle is kind of a sap. 
  • Urg.  Seeing them just have slept together is not making this relationship less squidgy.
  • Oh Gold. 
  • You can take the man out of the Dark…
  • Yeah Snow. You just try to be judgey in these circumstances. 
  • Gold is all “why should I get my shoes ruined?”
  • So summing up this first half of the season:  Clothes were better and I liked the additions to the Dark One mythology.
  • Still, a lot of it seemed like treading water. What happened to Arthur? We spent a lot of time on his story to just have him vanish at the end.
  • Plus, are we really ok with leaving Guinevere all date-rape drugged into submission by Arthur?
  • I’m not totally sure I buy Gold wanting the darkness back after he had already achieved hero-ness.  I feel like without the darkness, he should have been repelled at the idea of taking it back.
  • The whole end to Dark!Hook! was very Buffy/Angel.
  • Also, what was the point of making a big deal of bringing half the Town to Camelot?  They certainly didn’t do much once they were there.
  • I’m not sure what Regina was getting at when she kept needling Hook to remember about his Dad.  How did she know that would make the difference?
  • I hope Zelina takes a powder for awhile.  That character is becoming gratingly one-note.
  • It appeared that all the dwarfs got marked as well by the Dark Ones.  How come they didn’t show up by the lake at the end?
  • Everyone was so anxious to come along to Camelot, but strangely enough, no one seems to have wanted to tag along to Hell.