Tag Archives: Sheriff Stalinski

Teen Wolf, S6E8: “blitzkrieg”

...And then there were five. And Theo.
…And then there were five. And Theo.
Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.

Spoiler Thoughts:

  • Man, Nazis!  In America!  Who would have thought?
  • Well, on the one hand, Mr. Douglas is a Nazi, and on the other hand, he just minused the number of Nazis in the room by one, so kind of a wash.
  • Poor Noah Stilinski, still wondering why he never noticed all those boarded up windows on that one side of his house before.
  • Ok, I don’t know anything about string theory except in cinema shorthand it usually means someone’s headed to CrazyTown, but I feel like even the crazys have some rationale for where they put the pins and the strings.
  • Peter, always a Helper.
  • Now if Malia is disappointed in her Dad by this time, she has only her own ill-founded expectations to blame.
  • Maybe Melissa could have gone for the gun at that point?
  • Theo!  I trust him.
  • Liam, this is maybe not a decision you should make unilaterally.
  • Plus, it’s not even your sword.
  • You have to admit, the Nazis had a wide range of interests.
  • Grenadier Able is beginning to realize that he may have backed the wrong horse.
  • How did they even get Parrish?  Last we saw, he went for a walk in the woods.
  • What if someone grabbed the Ghost Rider’s gun and whip?  Then he couldn’t take anyone, although I guess he could still mop the floor with them.
  • What if they shot him with his own gun?  Then some poor shlep has to sit on the same bench with a Ghost Rider for all eternity in the train station.
  • Hayden couldn’t just untangle herself from the whips while Liam was holding them?
  • Poor Noah.  Never catching a break.
  • Nazis are pretty black and white.
  • Here’s a question:  If Douglas has been in a tank since the 1940s, how did he get out and immediately have a California accent?
  • Well, on the other hand, if the Ghost Riders take everyone, that gets them through the rift, too.
  • Wait, I thought Noah missed his wife’s death because that night he was with Malia’s dying family in the car?  Or am I confusing everyone by now?
  • Peter’s redemption.
  • Banshees are so creepy, even the Ghost Riders don’t want them in their train station.
  • So this is apparently the “Empire Strikes Back” moment for our gang.
  • OH MY GOD
  • MICHISLAV
  • STILES IS MICHISLAV
  • WHY WOULD YOU NAME YOUR KID MICHISLAV
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Teen Wolf Season Finale, S5E20: “Apotheosis”

I see London, I see France…

Spoiler Thoughts:

  • See, I feel like I missed something here. When did we figure out the pike was the cane? How did Gerard get his mitts on it?
Screenshot (62)
I’m hammering out danger. I’m hammering out a warning.
  • Deaton is all “no Stiles. Being a vet doesn’t make me an expert on fetal cannibalism.”
  • Theo, this might not be a good time for this, given as how you’re exsanguinating.
  • Now, I’m not sure how Theo’s killing her here, because every other time we’ve seen this, someone’s jabbed their hand straight into the abdomen, which seems kind of effective.
  • Here, he’s just kind of…hugging her to death? Even though she’s clearly spiking him with paralytic toxin?
  • Well we’d feel worse about this, but Tracy was kind of a jerk anyway.
  • Deucalion is always thinking “amateur.”
How to Succeed in Werewolfing Without Really Trying
  • Sebastien picked up all Mason’s knowledge like a planarian.
  • Wow. Who would have thought that a still-alive evil force             would be a problem when it woke up? Besides everyone?
Screenshot (64)
The next American Idol.
  • Ok, I don’t even know how Sebastien could tell this was Marcel.  It looked like raw meat in a trench coat.
  • What was Marcel’s deal anyway? Sebastien didn’t seem all that into him.
  • Sometimes you should just Let It Go.
  • I feel like Malia wouldn’t just be cowering upstairs while Braeden plays Battleship with the Desert Wolf all by herself.
  • This whole “life is energy and can’t just be gone” theory seems a little less plausible when you consider…death?
  • Poor Lydia. She is getting all the crap this season.
  • Isn’t a nine millimeter pretty small? I might go with the musket.
Screenshot (65)
Sheriff, debating how much damage his pachinko-ball gun will do.
  • Clark, this is a bad time to get insubordinate.
  • RIP Mrs. McCall’s house.
  • We always hear of how good Talia Hale was. We also know how anybody (except Scott) becomes an alpha wolf, tho…
  • Theo, how are you ever going to get a pack when you keep trying to kill everyone even on speaking terms with you?
Screenshot (66)
Theo is beginning to look less trustworthy
  • Lydia has pretty much run through her medical deductible by now.
  • Argent, lowering the boom down on Emo!Parrish!
  • Ugh. We get to listen to Kira’s rambling voice mail twice.
  • Yeah, I’m not so sure this is exactly how cortisone works.
  • Plan A was Chipotle?
  • Man, no one’s healing powers are working worth a damn lately.
  • By this time, you’d think everyone would be wearing rubber soled shoes.
  • Stiles, son. What would make you think you should even say boo to the Desert Wolf?
  • Sebastien is having a hard time taking any werewolf in a hoodie seriously.
Screenshot (68)
Sebastien not a fan of today’s “Abercrombie & Fitch” werewolves.
  • He is not impressed with Theo’s power-taking abilities.
  • I KNEW we could trust Deucalion!
Screenshot (70)
I TRUST HIM
  • Ouch. Deucalion practices tough love.
  • Gerard, you rat-bastard!
  • Argent continues to not be anybody’s fool.
  • Word of advice: Don’t accept an invitation to the Argent’s family dinner.
Screenshot (71)
Shortly before they started singing “Cat’s Cradle.”
  • Again, I don’t feel like Malia would make such a poor showing here. She was pretty determined to kill her Mom before, and yet in this whole standoff, I’m not sure she gets one punch in.
  • Ouch. Clawed her right in the ovaries.
  • Unless that shard is way off in his shoulder, Stiles should probably be concerned about a punctured lung, I’m thinking.
  • Liam once again looks like he stopped off at the barber shop while he was prowling around the sewers.
  • How does that possibly belong to you, Sebastien? Your sister made it with her own blood. You just…leaned on it a little, once.
Screenshot (73)
Look, he just wants the pike his sister impaled him on so he can eat everyone with impunity. Is that so wrong?
  • Dude can wipe up the place with Scott and Liam, just from drinking out of a puddle.
  • God Damn it Corey, you are totally useless.
  • OH. SNAP. Theo just had the worst International Woman’s Day ever.
  • Glad it worked out a little better for Liam than it did for Derek.
  • Well TBH, Sheriff, Stiles probably had less to do in this story than in any other season.
  • The Skinwalkers are all “uhm…could you hurry this up a bit?”
  • Well I think it was nice to include Alison in this end montage, but it does kind of accentuate the notion that Kira is Scott’s Knives Chau and not Ramona Flowers.
  • Although this season has maybe some more inexplicable plot elements than a lot of the earlier years, I thought it was pretty good.
  • I like the atmosphere of Eichen House, although it’s hard to know by now why anyone would go there ever, when there is everything but bats hanging from the windows.
  • I think Parrish turned out to be a little of a red herring this season, since there really wasn’t some big cataclysmic battle between the Hellhound and the Beast.
  • Actually, most of the fights between them, the Beast came out looking kind of bored.
  • Kira was really the weakest link this season, and it’s probably a good idea that she goes away and gets some core competencies under her belt before she tries to be a part of the Scooby gang again.
  • Not a huge fan of Hayden as of yet, but she’s definitely improved from her start.  I guess we’ll see if she holds onto her undead-dark side.
  • Poor Theo.  Even though he was such a cool bad guy, if you think about it, virtually none of his schemes ever worked at all.
  • In large part, no doubt, due to Deucalion.  I refuse to believe a bullet could do more than slow him down, so I imagine we’ll be seeing him again someday.
  • Pretty meager storyline for Stiles overall, although maybe Dylan was busy with Scorch Trials, and they had to write around him.
  • Well, until next season, Teen Wolf.  Now back to pick up those earlier seasons I missed…

Teen Wolf, Season Five, Episode Nine: “Lies of Omission”

Screencap from http://teen-wolf-mtv.wikia.com/wiki/Teen_Wolf_Wikia

Spoiler Thoughts:

  • The surprising part is that anyone at Beacon Hills ever smiles, after all the bad mojo that’s gone down there.
  • Just gonna point out that the only Asian family pretty much hit the bricks as soon as it started looking bad here, and only 1/3 of them were even human.
  • Scott might be asking a lot from albuterol.
  • OMG Sheriff. Even if it was just plain mercury, instead of recently-vomited-up mercury, I think you’d still want a glove before dipping your finger in it.
  • Mercury out the nose is kind of a mood killer.
  • I guess no Coach this season?
  • The way Teen Wolf operates, Corey is either going to become a regular, or a corpse, pretty soon.
  • Well, I guess we know which way that went.
  • Oh Mason. This is such a bad school for you.
  • Oh serious, Scott? You are surely not going to doubt Stiles after all this.
  • Ok, this is pretty gross, even for this show.
  • This is not Malia’s season for saving people.
  • Wow, suddenly the closed captions have gone into warp drive.
  • Maybe stopping to mack on each other is a bad idea during a routine robbery, much less when you’re on the run from supernaturals.
  • Doctors know alcohol is just no good for you.
  • Oh Parrish, maybe don’t tell Lydia your whole dream.
  • Hate a guy who leaves in the middle of a movie.
  • This is a bad day for Sheriff Stalinski’s relationships with his son/son-figures.
  • Oh man, are we really going to do this in the rain?
  • I feel like Stiles would have been less oblique here. They’ve been doing a good job of making him feel paranoid and self-defensive where Scott is concerned this season, but I just think he would have come totally clean to him at this point.
  • Stiles is smart enough to not assume Scott knows the whole deal, and I think Scott has a big enough heart to forgive Stiles anything.
  • Well, it seems harsh, and yet remember how well this worked out for Derek, when he had someone bite his true love.

 

Teen Wolf, Season Four, Episode Twelve: “Smoke and Mirrors.”

Spoiler Thoughts:

  • If Kira can shoot electricity out her hands, I don’t know that she needs to be wandering around in the dark all the time.
  • Kate’s whole story doesn’t really jell that great.  She came to the temple where the Berserkers were all happy to see her because she was the Bone Woman?  What kind of qualifications did she fill for that?
  • Braeden’s not ok with Derek dying?  Honey, you are not alone.
  • The true horror is that apparently no one in Beacon Hills has seen Star Wars.
  • Peter is proof that if you act confidently enough, and look good enough in a v-neck, people will flock to you as a leader no matter how evil/crazy you are.
  • Oh hey, Derek gave the faux triskelion to Liam!  Because it worked so well for Kate, before.
  • Man, I wouldn’t be Mason for anything.
  • Yeah, Tamlyn Tomita’s back!
  • Ok, granted I’ve never been in that situation, but I’d think the gaping stab wound in her stomach would be painful enough to start the healing process without adding more pain on top.
  • Stiles is clearly the better Watcher here.  It’s a wonder Scott made it through, if this is all Derek had up his sleeves.
  • Also, why is Liam only killing Derek?  Did Stiles get enough abuse last season that he had an extra “not be killed” card for this one?
  • Here’s a thought:  If you roll up on an ancient evil temple that you already know is filled with evil-y things, maybe look out the window before you open the car door.
  • Well if that wasn’t the weirdest in-show commercial ever.
  • Sheriff Stalinski is the awesomest, as the only person to figure out that just repeating ineffectual measures isn’t that good a defense against the Berserkers.
  • Hey, another fight where everybody tries to slap fight a Berserker while somehow forgetting that they can turn into supernatural creatures.
  • I think this might have been more effective a scene if Scott had had his curse broken by his relationship to Stiles, rather than Liam.
  • Ok, what the what?
  • No seriously, what?!
  • What did wolf!Derek! do to Kate?  Lick her roughly?  She seemed all mauled, but there was no blood on Derek, so…
  • Also, hi nude!Derek! How did he get out into the bushes from where he was sitting around dying earlier?  Was getting stabbed to death with a bone knife part of the evolutionary process?  Was actual death part of the evolutionary process?
  • Kate is shocked, shocked that her bro shot her.  I am not so sure this should have been that much of a surprise.
  • I love Liam’s expression when Peter throws the table at him:  “HDY!”
  • Kate’s dialogue here is reminiscent of Mother Gothel in “Tangled:”  “Great.  Now I’m the bad guy!”
  • Well these Mexican hunters certainly turned out to be less totally crazy than they seemed in the first episode.
  • It is convenient that Tamlyn married a guy who is not only a history teacher, but who can also carve obsidian as a hobby.
  • Eichen House:  A franchise from the fine people who brought you Arkham Asylum.
  • Anyone else but me think it might be a mistake to double bunk two of your worst evils together?
  • Also LOL on how everyone thinks the creepiest thing in the world is looking at an eye.

Teen Wolf, Season Four, Episode Ten: “Monstrous”

Spoiler thoughts:

  • I feel like these Buddhist werewolves have maybe sublimated not only their violent tendencies, but also their self-preservation tendencies.
  • Liam might be the smartest werewolf of all.
  • Oddly enough, a hospital might be one of the last places you’d find a cassette player, since no one wants to bring their nice players to get ripped off there.
  • So Kira flew back from wherever they took her Mom, and immediately went in the pouring rain to go check out Beacon Hill High’s sport’s stadium in case there were werewolves in peril?
  • Argent looks like he’s raiding the Land Pavilion at EPCOT.
  • So far, losing all his superpowers seems to be the best thing that ever happened to Derek.
  • This is why people should have private hospital rooms.
  • The Desert Wolf!  Thank God Peter wasn’t sharing all his thoughts about her.
  • Oh Lydia’s Mom is never gonna get to sell this house now.
  • Peter loses some of his intimidation prowess without his v-necks.
  • Sad that Sheriff Stalinski wasn’t stationed in some other American towns, where apparently anybody can shoot anyone without thinking twice about it.
  • This girl has the worst survival instincts of any werewolf ever.
  • Oh Peter.