I see London, I see France…
See, I feel like I missed something here. When did we figure out the pike was the cane? How did Gerard get his mitts on it?
I’m hammering out danger. I’m hammering out a warning.
Deaton is all “no Stiles. Being a vet doesn’t make me an expert on fetal cannibalism.”
Theo, this might not be a good time for this, given as how you’re exsanguinating.
Now, I’m not sure how Theo’s killing her here, because every other time we’ve seen this, someone’s jabbed their hand straight into the abdomen, which seems kind of effective.
Here, he’s just kind of…hugging her to death? Even though she’s clearly spiking him with paralytic toxin?
Well we’d feel worse about this, but Tracy was kind of a jerk anyway.
Deucalion is always thinking “amateur.”
How to Succeed in Werewolfing Without Really Trying
Sebastien picked up all Mason’s knowledge like a planarian.
Wow. Who would have thought that a still-alive evil force would be a problem when it woke up? Besides everyone?
The next American Idol.
Ok, I don’t even know how Sebastien could tell this was Marcel. It looked like raw meat in a trench coat.
What was Marcel’s deal anyway? Sebastien didn’t seem all that into him.
Sometimes you should just Let It Go.
I feel like Malia wouldn’t just be cowering upstairs while Braeden plays Battleship with the Desert Wolf all by herself.
This whole “life is energy and can’t just be gone” theory seems a little less plausible when you consider…death?
Poor Lydia. She is getting all the crap this season.
Isn’t a nine millimeter pretty small? I might go with the musket.
Sheriff, debating how much damage his pachinko-ball gun will do.
Clark, this is a bad time to get insubordinate.
RIP Mrs. McCall’s house.
We always hear of how good Talia Hale was. We also know how anybody (except Scott) becomes an alpha wolf, tho…
Theo, how are you ever going to get a pack when you keep trying to kill everyone even on speaking terms with you?
Theo is beginning to look less trustworthy
Lydia has pretty much run through her medical deductible by now.
Argent, lowering the boom down on Emo!Parrish!
Ugh. We get to listen to Kira’s rambling voice mail twice.
Yeah, I’m not so sure this is exactly how cortisone works.
Plan A was Chipotle?
Man, no one’s healing powers are working worth a damn lately.
By this time, you’d think everyone would be wearing rubber soled shoes.
Stiles, son. What would make you think you should even say boo to the Desert Wolf?
Sebastien is having a hard time taking any werewolf in a hoodie seriously.
Sebastien not a fan of today’s “Abercrombie & Fitch” werewolves.
He is not impressed with Theo’s power-taking abilities.
I KNEW we could trust Deucalion!
I TRUST HIM
Ouch. Deucalion practices tough love.
Gerard, you rat-bastard!
Argent continues to not be anybody’s fool.
Word of advice: Don’t accept an invitation to the Argent’s family dinner.
Shortly before they started singing “Cat’s Cradle.”
Again, I don’t feel like Malia would make such a poor showing here. She was pretty determined to kill her Mom before, and yet in this whole standoff, I’m not sure she gets one punch in.
Ouch. Clawed her right in the ovaries.
Unless that shard is way off in his shoulder, Stiles should probably be concerned about a punctured lung, I’m thinking.
Liam once again looks like he stopped off at the barber shop while he was prowling around the sewers.
How does that possibly belong to you, Sebastien? Your sister made it with her own blood. You just…leaned on it a little, once.
Look, he just wants the pike his sister impaled him on so he can eat everyone with impunity. Is that so wrong?
Dude can wipe up the place with Scott and Liam, just from drinking out of a puddle.
God Damn it Corey, you are totally useless.
OH. SNAP. Theo just had the worst International Woman’s Day ever.
Glad it worked out a little better for Liam than it did for Derek.
Well TBH, Sheriff, Stiles probably had less to do in this story than in any other season.
The Skinwalkers are all “uhm…could you hurry this up a bit?”
Well I think it was nice to include Alison in this end montage, but it does kind of accentuate the notion that Kira is Scott’s Knives Chau and not Ramona Flowers.
Although this season has maybe some more inexplicable plot elements than a lot of the earlier years, I thought it was pretty good.
I like the atmosphere of Eichen House, although it’s hard to know by now why anyone would go there ever, when there is everything but bats hanging from the windows.
I think Parrish turned out to be a little of a red herring this season, since there really wasn’t some big cataclysmic battle between the Hellhound and the Beast.
Actually, most of the fights between them, the Beast came out looking kind of bored.
Kira was really the weakest link this season, and it’s probably a good idea that she goes away and gets some core competencies under her belt before she tries to be a part of the Scooby gang again.
Not a huge fan of Hayden as of yet, but she’s definitely improved from her start. I guess we’ll see if she holds onto her undead-dark side.
Poor Theo. Even though he was such a cool bad guy, if you think about it, virtually none of his schemes ever worked at all.
In large part, no doubt, due to Deucalion. I refuse to believe a bullet could do more than slow him down, so I imagine we’ll be seeing him again someday.
Pretty meager storyline for Stiles overall, although maybe Dylan was busy with
Scorch Trials, and they had to write around him. Well, until next season,
Teen Wolf. Now back to pick up those earlier seasons I missed…
Poor Mason. It’s not enough to be the Beast, but he has to wake up in a sewage tunnel too.
I feel like we saw Mason outside Eichen House trying to shut off the power while the Beast was inside, tho.
Is there some reason Gerard never told anyone he knows how to totally paralyze the Dread Doctors anytime he wants?
Why did Corey think it was a good idea to take Mason away from Scott and Liam in the first place? He can’t have really thought they were going to kill him.
Electro guy is not buying the mask job.
I trust him.
He’s so smart.
Hm. Not sure why it looks like Gideon Emery has a droopy eyelid this episode.
Electro guy is not an idiot.
I feel your pain Parrish. I just got new tires too. Then the whole car broke down and had to be traded in…Wait, what were we doing again?
“I have the word ‘Hell’ in my name! Hell!”
Scott has a lot on his plate. Most of it sucks.
Stiles finally gets to be funny again for the first time in like two years.
Liam is the worst in forests.
Scott’s healing powers not only fix his wounds, but they do dry cleaning as well.
Oh, I kind of think it was your fault, Corey.
Worst spinal tap ever.
I’m not so sure these are very good doctors.
Theo’s team building skills are taking a pounding here.
Now you know Theo is evil, because Gideon Emery’s voice isn’t going to get on
anyone’s nerves. Oh God, Kira should not be this dumb.
Yeah that’s right Theo. Taste of a real Alpha.
If I was Electro guy, I’d have been inching towards the door from the time Deucalion stood up.
If I was Tracy, I’d be thinking “either he puts on the mask and gets what he wants and we go hunt the beast, or the mask kills him and I don’t have to worry about him coming for me next.”
This Nemeton brought to you by Toyota Corolla.
Yeah, this doesn’t seem like a bright alliance.
I think it’s pretty obvious that Tracy does not want the same thing.
I don’t even know why Scott needed those guys. They didn’t even know it was Mason in the first place.
Sad that Derek isn’t here. Don’t you think someone would have asked Braeden about him by now?
The story of this season, is Scott’s BFFs telling not to trust Theo, and Scott doing it anyway.
Would you buy a used car from this man?
Ugh. Kira. How does she possibly think she’s going to drive off and accomplish whatever and get back before everything’s over?
What if they just cut the tubing and ran for it with the thing still in his neck?
Argent, do you honestly think Gerard is not majorly playing you?
The only good thing is that as soon as Deucalion sees Gerard, he may forget about Scott altogether.
Dread Doctors laying down the sick burn on Theo.
Maybe punching a steel mask isn’t the best strategy, Theo.
I like how Posey and Sprayberry must have had specific limits to how many times they put on the wolf makeup written into their contracts, because Theo is the only one doing any wolfing here.
Ok if you had done that like 15 minutes ago, Mason, you’d all be out of there by now.
Braeden is too smart for this town.
Mrs. McCall is going to wish Scott had gotten that scholarship when she gets the repair bills after this.
Uhm…any reason why Braeden didn’t just unload both barrels of her never-depleted shotgun into her at that point?
Ok, Scott and Liam have just spent about a day’s worth of shooting, sitting by this cabinet flinching a lot.
Beast can literally not believe the naked flaming guy jumping at him.
This dude died, then was brought back by unholy means, but at least it gave him a nice haircut.
How could this guy possibly know Gerard’s last name? Does he have Mason’s memories?
I am the worst with history. I don’t even know which side I’m supposed to be rooting for, here.
I thought Deucalion was the Demon Wolf?
Apparently it’s story time with Gerard.
There is another.” How very Star Wars-y of you, Argents. Stiles is just not equipped for medic duty.
I would think that a) he would need more pain abstracted than that, and b) Hayden would have felt a little pain there herself.
I guess the Argent girls have always been good with a bow.
The Innkeeper is pretty chill over having FrenchAlison shoot a crossbow that close to his head.
Maybe she does this all the time, in which case I don’t know if I’d invite her back to the Inn.
This is a pretty liberated town, to happily accept that their best hunter is a girl.
Ooh, interesting–the olden days footage is letterboxed, while the present day story is full-screen.
Maybe firing random crossbows at something you don’t see isn’t the way to go, FrenchAlison.
This is why open carry isn’t a good idea.
Also, how is she firing one bolt after the other? Video games have shown us crossbows only give you one shot, and then they take forever to reload.
“Hi, I’m here to talk to you about the Latter Day Saints.”
“That was no wolf!” The villagers have been putting up signs advertising a Beast for some time, FrenchAlison. I think they’d be able to recognize a wolf.
Like Braeden doesn’t have other stuff to do besides pull Beacon Hill’s fat out of the fire.
Girl doesn’t have the sense to run when a huge beast attacks in Beacon Hills, girl is going to wind up as kibble.
Maybe FrenchAlison should wonder why this dude has spent half his life trying to figure out defenses against a creature no one believed in until, like, a week ago.
Scott hates this library.
Do we know the girl with the hat? She looks familiar but I don’t remember her.
Well plus FrenchAlison can’t take out another hunting party, because who’s gonna sign up when 100% of her guys got et?
Maybe you shouldn’t be rinsing this guys blood right into the DRINKING WELL?!
So what was she doing with the drink? Trying to drug everyone in hopes of getting into the cellar? Or was it just werewolf poison?
What was this guy to FrenchAlison’s brother that he was willing to hide all those bodies for him? Because that’s kind of farther than I’d go for most people.
That’s how you become a Demon Wolf? You drink from a puddle? Braeden, that was also a lot of shots from a weapon that I thought could have two shots. Evidently, video games are ripping me off.
Wow, until this minute, I didn’t realize Marcel and Henri were two different guys.
This is another example of a story where I feel like we are supposed to be surprised at the end over something that was laid out for us earlier.
Maybe they should go to the next town over, Sunnyvale, and pick up Buffy.
It better not be Mason, is all I’m saying.
Like Scott couldn’t track Mason and invisible guy by scent?
Why fight matches usually have weight divisions.
If the best encouragement Theo could give me to attack someone was “you’ll heal,” I might start thinking he didn’t have my best interests at heart.
Parrish seems like he’s going pretty easy on people trying to poison and electrocute him.
What in God’s Name did the guy whose superpower is
changing colors think he was going to do against a Hellhound? So you kind of tapped the guy trying to electrocute you against the wall, but fried the guy who was holding your wrist? Harsh, Parrish.
Man, Mason may need a new date for the prom.
Theo, if you want to recruit people for your pack, maybe perforating them with a steel bar isn’t the best opener.
Man, her hair is pretty curly still, for all that writhing around.
I trust him.
Deucalion, giving out fatherly advice. He’s such a giver.
Scott isn’t the best spy.
Huh, I totally thought Meredith was dead by now.
Scorpion girl is pretty psycho.
You would think Kira would have read up on electricity after she discovered she
was electricity. All this whining and self-doubt isn’t really getting the job done, Kira.
It’s a measure of how messed up Teen Wolf usually is, that it never occurred to me how weird this scene where they just casually stroll through the room of cringing naked guys was until way afterwards.
In Beacon Hills, we call this “Tuesday.”
Maybe Meredith was just trying to say your skin was soft, Scott. No need to immediately start thinking everyone wants to get stabbed in the back of the neck.
Liam seems to be sweating it a little here.
It’s ok Liam. Just use all that energy you had when you TRIED TO KILL SCOTT.
Parrish seems like he’s probably a little occupied right now, with the impalement and all.
Poor paralyzed Deucalion. I trust him.
Theo, you have a better chance at Brother of the Year award than of ever getting Stiles to trust you.
Killing your sister =/= believing in Santa on the naïveté scale.
Valach could have at least put on Sinatra or something.
Poor Parrish is constantly waking up completely confused and horrified. And probably chilly.
Malia and Electroguy having the worst trust exercise ever.
Stiles and Theo are the Mulder/Krycek equivalent.
Theo: King of the Unconvincing Rationalization
Lydia would probably be more sympathetic to Valach’s sad history if he hadn’t just
drilled a hole into her head. Lydia is horrified at having to wear that ugly hat.
Posey makes the worst face here. Like he’s had experience lighting aerosol cans before and none of it was good.
Mason is my spirit animal.
Oh wow, that is why I don’t like loud noises.
Dylan, keeping in shape for Maze Runner 3.
Theo is always the bridesmaid, never the bride.
Mason is all of us.
So unpleasant, Hayden. Don’t you be mean to Mason.
Parrish burnt through the Mountain Ash?
Isn’t the point of ash, it’s what doesn’t get burnt up?
Wow, Parrish totally did the Charles Atlas “go away little man” maneuver on Stiles.
Well to be fair, Mrs. Martin, you did put her into that Hellhole.
This is really taking a toll on that poor jeep.
Scott’s all “worst backseat passengers ever.”
Deaton, man, you knew they were coming–why for did you not have that stuff drawn up already?
Deaton, man, you know how to check if something’s alive or dead. Why for are you making Stiles go through this?
Well to be fair, the other guys did help a little.
But maybe Lydia’s Mom will get off Stiles’ back now.
Coach! Coach is coming back!
Do you know the way to San Jose?
glad they all let Lydia just hang out all safe and all in Arkam Asylum all this time. If I was even remotely close to critical, I’d have a living will made out demanding I be taken to Hill Valley Hospital.
“Put my body out on the street before you take me to Beacon Memorial.”
I feel like Melissa has enough experience by now to not hang around when a creepy elevator gets to her floor.
Somebody take up a collection and buy poor Parrish a shirt.
I’m not so sure I think drilling a hole in someone’s head is going to release anything but cerebrospinal fluid.
If you are in this pack, and you are still questioning Stiles’ plans like they have a chance of success, you might have already got a hole drilled into your head.
Well I guess we’d feel worse for that orderly, but she was kind of a bitch to Lydia, so…good luck.
Liam, surprised that Scott’s Mom is still mad at him for almost killing him.
I wish Kira wasn’t always the weak link.
You gotta win one for the Asians, Kira.
No one thinks she can do this Scott. Her results are not confidence-inspiring.
Why don’t they just knock this dude out and take his keycard?
Who’d notice outside? It’s not like Eichen House spends on outside lighting.
This Eichen House guard is the only person in Beacon Hills trying to do his job right.
Poor naked Nelson.
Poor naked electrified Nelson.
Did Kira and Malia really think short shorts were the best break-in outfits?
Maybe they would have had a better chance of blending if they stole some scrubs too.
OH MY GOD, DID THAT GUY JUST SAY DR. FENRIS
WITH GIDEON EMERY BACK AS DEUCALION
Wow, Kira is producing sub-optimal results with this standing-and-doing-nothing method.
Deucalion! So good.
I am badder than thou.
I’m not sure they have time for a brawl at this point.
This would have been a more suspenseful episode if we didn’t already know Theo and his gang end up walking out with Lydia.
Mrs. Martin should probably go home.
Everyone seems a little more surprised at the naked man on fire than you’d think, considering they were expecting him.
These fights are always the ones where I wonder why everyone suddenly forgot they could change into super powerful creatures.
I guess Mountain Ash, but they did just break apart a steel door.
This wasn’t enough to make Liam angry? Can’t help thinking Posey just got tired of putting on the makeup. Now, a werewolf transformation consists of contacts and a couple of dental caps.
Gerard meets the Dread Doctors. Not sure which is more creepy.
How is it that evil people are always so much more effective than good?
Oh, all the ugh.
You know it’s a good sitch when the
beetles are screaming. While I trust Theo, Malia, maybe shouldn’t.
Wow, that needle was so long, I’m surprised it didn’t stick out the other side of her neck.
Oh, we found out blond deputy’s name! Strauss!
What kind of weapon falls apart if you twist the hilt?
Oh Malia. This looks pretty bad.
Worst refraction ever.
This pack is not so much with communication.
Bad news when
Malia is the peacemaker. This is probably a bad move, Liam.
How messed up are things when
Scott totally creeped me out just now. Aw, Scott forgave his BB.
Braeden is the only one with any sense.
Poor Lydia has probably not seen any of the other regulars in like a year now.
That is a harsh school, when they want you to do homework while you’re in a coma.
Lydia’s Mom apparently doesn’t ship it.
Did Scott stop bleeding finally?
Oh hi Gerard.
“Who’s the old guy?” Liam speaks for all the new viewers.
Wow Argent. I’m not sure that’s covered by homeowner’s insurance.
Oh Theo. That was maybe not trustworthy of you.
Parrish was not the best bomb defuser.
Gerard could maybe try burning Parrish’s hand or something. Why’s he gotta go straight for the moneymaker?
The Argents have a difficult family dynamic.
Although I guess I’d take the Argent family over Malia’s.
OMG Lydia, break the damn glass already!
I can’t believe that creepy orderly still has a job.
Although maybe there is a limited pool of people willing to work at Eichen House.
The Beast…just wanted some furniture?
I’ll just take this, thanks.
I like how the Beast broke through the wall and got a chair. Like Ikea was too far.
Ok, I know a lot of things happened at the last minute, Deucalion, but I believe it was Scott that helped restore your sight in the first place.
Everybody made up! Or at least hates each other less now!
Tamlyn is the poster mother for Tough Love.
I must say, these girls have pretty hair for all that dust and exertion.
Kira is not excited at the thought of staying in this dust bowl with the non-exfoliating team.
Kira seems way more anxious at the staying forever part than the part where she has a spear stuck straight through her chest.
Oh My Goood! THE JEEP.
Aww. Liam is so sorry, Scott.
After all, it’s not like he’s even the first three of your friends that tried to kill you.
Stiles is now the expert at forgiveness. He is rewarded for this knowledge by the gift of his jeep’s life.
Oh Stiles. I had a leak like that last week that probably going to run me around a grand.
If this beast turns out to be Mason, I will be so mad.
I feel like this conversation is supposed to humanize Theo and scorpion girl for us, but since we saw them kill their sister and dad respectively, I am skeptical.
I find the Beast so amusingly cute, for some reason. It’s like the dragon in “How to Train Your Dragon.”
Liam is in the dictionary under “no chill at all.”
Well I don’t see blood stains on Scott’s chest, so that seems like an improvement.
Stiles, how well did you think it was going to work, taking your barely-running jeep out into no-man’s land?
Oh look, it’s Scott’s Teacher of the Year.
Mason = smooth.
Liam and Hayden are demonstrating why lab partners are never a good idea.
How does this teacher expect them to solve the mystery together without discussing it?
Tamlyn is demonstrating some classical Asian parenting right here.
Wow, even way out in the desert, gas is only 3.83.
Stiles finally came clean. See? Scott will always understand, unless he’s in the middle of a total freak out.
This starry backdrop looks like something out of “Dark Shadows.”
Ok, Kira seems to be taking a little too long to figure this cause and effect out.
Theo is getting his clock cleaned pretty good here.
Tamlyn had to pause for one more display of badassery.
Tamlyn is gonna cut herself a bitch.
The skinwalkers were powerful, but not as powerful as Stile’s jeep.
Stiles and Tamlyn are all “…so, things been ok with you?” “Yeah, pretty good…”
Enjoyable things courtesy of an enigmatic world.