Once Upon A Time tonight. Time to catch up! Spoiler Thoughts:
Wow, people had pretty crap fathers in Storybrooke.
You can tell Emma’s getting good again, because her makeup is getting softer.
Only evil girls wear bright red lipstick. That’s the law.
Gold is kind of a downer here.
Oh crap, I don’t remember Regina testing Hook. Did we see it already? Or are we going to flashback?
Because promises where you have to swear not to tell anyone ever always go well.
Belle’s getting creeped out.
Wow, Belle was all “thanks for the car. Bye bitches.”
Gold might be a hero, but still slow on the self-sacrifice scale.
Oh man, I hope not Zelina. I think we’ve seen quite enough of you.
I guess Granny took a powder after making the burgers?
This is apparently the family of good-looking guys who never get old.
He fell in love while he was asleep?
That Mila is the source of all evil.
Man, that was pretty slow-witted of Emma.
Oh wow, that Neal is a cute baby.
Ouch, Killian’s Dad. You could have at least made up a new bedtime motto.
Well that could have gone better.
So Hook was able to turn it around with the memory of his Dad, but not with Emma?
Kinda deux ex machina, but ok.
Although if she had done this from the beginning, Merlin would still be alive.
Nice that Storybrooke’s paramedics are still gainfully employed.
Belle is kind of a sap. Urg. Seeing them just have slept together is not making this relationship less squidgy.
You can take the man out of the Dark…
Yeah Snow. You just try to be judgey in these circumstances.
Gold is all “why should I get my shoes ruined?” So summing up this first half of the season: Clothes were better and I liked the additions to the Dark One mythology.
Still, a lot of it seemed like treading water. What happened to Arthur? We spent a lot of time on his story to just have him vanish at the end.
Plus, are we really ok with leaving Guinevere all date-rape drugged into submission by Arthur?
I’m not totally sure I buy Gold wanting the darkness back after he had already achieved hero-ness. I feel like without the darkness, he should have been repelled at the idea of taking it back.
The whole end to Dark!Hook! was very Buffy/Angel.
Also, what was the point of making a big deal of bringing half the Town to Camelot? They certainly didn’t do much once they were there.
I’m not sure what Regina was getting at when she kept needling Hook to remember about his Dad. How did she know that would make the difference?
I hope Zelina takes a powder for awhile. That character is becoming gratingly one-note.
It appeared that all the dwarfs got marked as well by the Dark Ones. How come they didn’t show up by the lake at the end?
Everyone was so anxious to come along to Camelot, but strangely enough, no one seems to have wanted to tag along to Hell.
Ok, only a week or so before
Once Upon A Time starts up again. Time to catch up! Spoiler Thoughts:
Rumple is the best.
As the years go on, I feel like Rumple’s green-ness gets a little more spottier applied.
Yeah, that’s right Regina. You try being judgey in this circumstance.
I always think these guys must love it when their characters go evil again. It’s so much more to play.
Especially Hook, who was just relegated to pining after Emma for so long.
The Dark Ones have chronicles?
Everyone wishing they were somewhere else, while Henry lowers the boom down on Emma.
I do think Emma’s getting the short end of the stick. It’s not like any of them could gave helped her even if she came to them.
They’d just be all “oh, tough about Hook. Well, back to frolicking around with my true love some more. Bye.”
They did get a spiffy new wardrobe back in Camelot.
I think these open-ended “meet me here and I’ll know how you feel” arrangements are recipes for disaster.
Ugh. If anything would make me want the Dark Ones to win, it’s Merida.
Why would Emma leave him alone? She knows Rumple will come back.
This seems like Hook’s overreacting a little here.
Yeah, that’s right Gold. You try being judgey in these circumstances.
What’s to prevent Zelina from just zapping off with the baby?
Kind of justice, since Merlin being a sap created the Dark Ones to begin with.
Ha ha. Rumple saving Gold is great.
I feel like we’ve played this scene out by the well a few times before.
Rumple is such a helper.
Wait, there’s a portal to the underworld that just happens to be in a lake in Storybrooke?
I don’t know whether that should make the real estate value go up or down.
I totally don’t remember the thing with Robin and the fury.
Well politeness always matters.
The real end of “The Defiant Ones.”
These middlemyst flowers are pretty popular in Camelot.
Emma’s got some OCD behaviors going on.
Well this seems like a fun quest.
Oh man, Merlin is kinda credulous.
These are some bad decisions Merlin is making.
Hey, the first person I’d be listening to is freaking Zelina.
This is probably when Merlin should have had some warning lights go off.
Oh come on, Snow. You were a fighter.
Now really, who didn’t call this?
This is only a surprise twist to people who are unfamiliar with the legend of Arthur and Merlin.
I think she’s already pretty dark.
Dude, she’s just not that into you.
I think he had a point–if you didn’t want your magic used violently, you probably shouldn’t have made it into a sword.
Nice scene for Jennifer Morrison! Even if the victory is transitory, it’s a great moment for Emma.
Glad everyone trusted Zelina again.
So basically, by bringing Zelina with them, they caused the whole thing.
Also, if Robin had been able to use a little restraint/precautions in his home life, we wouldn’t be in this predicament either.
How did Zelina communicate with Arthur and come up with this whole plan if she was mute?
I feel like we haven’t explained sufficiently why Merlin, with all his powers, wasn’t able to stop all this, if he was out and about and aware back when Emma was little.
Except for Rumple and Nimue, all the Dark Ones were jawas?
Apparently this week is !Sassy!Belle week.
Well, its not like Belle hasn’t occasionally had that coming.
If Belle still helps Merida after she almost killed her with a rock to the head, she’s a dope.
At this point, if Merida and Belle both fell in a hole for the rest of the storyline, I’d be ok with that.
Granny’s getting more business out of Dark Swan than she ever did out of Light Swan.
Zelena might actually be the smartest one in town.
Actually, I’m thinking smashing your own foot with a rock
might be a mistake. By now, I feel like a bear might be a better ruler than Merida.
Oh hey, Arthur. Surely nothing will go wrong here.
Ok David. I’m taking back the apology from last week.
Well I guess if you couldn’t hit someone with an arrow in the clutch, it would make sense that you wouldn’t want to rely on your archery later.
Man, Robert Carlyle is so good. He totally sells all the different Golds/Rumples.
Ha ha. Belle screwed you.
Look, if she doesn’t take the chance to shoot all three of those guys right now, she really doesn’t deserve to rule.
It’s too bad Merida’s dad didn’t teach
all his kids how to fight. Ok, that doesn’t even look like a bear.
I don’t know know why anyone even bothers doing anything besides throwing rocks at each other when its so effective.
I feel like a really evil Emma would make a snarky comment on Gold’s heartfelt declaration.
Like, you can’t tell me Regina would be sitting here listening to this and not making gagging noises, even now.
I can’t help feeling that it should take more than one act of self-defense to prove yourself a hero.
OMG. Are you telling me Arthur didn’t sit there and see if the mushroom actually burnt?
Henry is also one of the smartest people in this town.
“Hi, this is Merlin. My message box is full right now…”
Cruella…has magical dog breath powers?
Weird, however I guess without that, her superpower is basically chain-smoking.
Oh hey, Regina’s reinstalled as mayor. Because Storybrooke votes the recidivist party.
Honestly, I know she’s good and all now, but she did spend a considerable amount of time killing and torturing people.
If it were me, I think I’d be up for inviting her to Granny’s, but I’d draw the line at using my tax dollars to pay for her mansion.
I see we still haven’t decided on how much assimilation Hook’s done to the Modern World.
Actually, why should Belle be so much better at the Internet than he is? Didn’t she spend the last 28 years locked up in the hospital basement?
Or did she assume all the memories of when she was “Lacey?” I was never sure how much that curse took.
Say, this is a happy library.
Belle has maybe not learned her lesson yet.
Shouldn’t the license plate be “DE VIL?”
Is this a flashback? Why did he seem like he never thought of any of this before, until Regina brought it up?
I guess the concept of personal responsibility wouldn’t be that attractive to villains.
I feel like we maybe didn’t check the credentials of that Oxford professor all that carefully.
I would probably make sure I got the dagger back from Regina at some point.
If I were one of these three, I’d wonder why Rumple wasn’t dealing with these challenges on his own, since none of them seem like they’d be too tough for him.
See, now that’s why I’d be wondering.
All evil people must also come equipped with powers of retrograde amnesia, or no one would ever deal with them again.
Gosh, that is some dicey CGI right there.
Also, don’t all hearts have the same potential for darkness? Isn’t that what we learned from when Snow kind of killed Cora?
Shoutout to the guy who totally ran across the street behind Regina and Emma, functionally photobombing them.
Like how the Dark One has fallen so far, he has a FLIP PHONE.
Shouldn’t Ursula and Cruella be like 30 years older by now?
Letting two arch-evils into town seems like kind of a unilateral decision for Emma and Regina to make on their own.
Ok, never mind the Author and the Sorcerer, Storybrooke needs an Archivist to make sure all these magical artifacts get recollected after each use.
Carlyle does such a nice job differentiating between all the different Rumple/Gold incarnations.
Apparently Snow hasn’t lost that dark spot on her heart yet.
Belle always wanted a life in New York City?
“If you must know, it’s about ethics in magical journalism.”
Funny how no one from Storybrooke ever wants to go to LA or Hollywood or anywhere West of the Mississippi.
Well that was easier than expected.
“So I’ve figured why you collect so many magical objects!” …He’s a hoarder?
Wow–Belle’s outfit shoves her chest all the way up to her neck.
I feel like Robin will have to meet some unfortunate end soon.
…And, there you go. Gosh, this seems convenient. They couldn’t find someone else who wanted to leave?
If Regina wasn’t so mopey, she’d reflect that Rumple would never leave without being able to take his magic with him.
“If anyone’s gonna crush your heart, it’s gonna be me.” Just what every girl wants to hear.
Storybrooke has the weirdest library ever.
Glad that Elsa has been crammed back into the exact same repressed outfit she wanted so desperately to escape.
Why would the villains be in New York?
Besides the fact that New York is kinda villainous anyway?
Why would he know where Ursula worked? Was he planning to stop by on his honeymoon?
Robert Carlyle is great though. His moments really went a long way in redeeming this season.
Hey Brad Dourif! Woo! Oh…that was it.
Wow Hook. This seems like a spectacularly bad idea.
Will no one lend Elsa a pair of jeans?
What on Earth is wrong with Scarlet? He just bumbles around the town, right in front of the people he’s supposedly trying to evade, with no apparent purpose. I never finished Wonderland, but it seemed as though he was smarter than this before.
Oh wow, Hook. This seems like an
even more spectacularly bad idea. Why would Hook not just tell Emma that his hand may or may not be evil, instead of doing whatever the guy who hates him more than anything tells him?
Oh Anna, if only there were someone who could give you good advice.
Elsa’s parents don’t seem to be racking up “Parent of the Year Award” points in a big way this week.
Are you serious, Hook? This is the most avoidable way imaginable to get coerced by Rumple. Why would you not tell Emma everything? Do you honestly believe she would take Rumple’s word over yours?
The theme for this week: “questionable decisions were made.”
Enjoyable things courtesy of an enigmatic world.