Tag Archives: Rumplestiltskin

Once Upon A Time, S6E20: “The Song In Your Heart”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Musical episode!  I do love a good musical.
  • I feel like the song Emma’s humming was a variant of “When You Wish Upon A Star,” but maybe it’s some contemporary song of which I know naught.
  • This is a remarkably philosophical youth group home.
  • Snow is all DON’T YOU WANT TO WEAR MY WEDDING DRESS and Emma is all “…k?”
  • I guess when Emma said they were going to wait to get married until the Black Fairy was taken care of, I thought that they were going to take a normal amount of time, like months-to-a-year, instead of the next day.
  • Dallas, getting a last shot at dress prince attire.
  • Actually, I’m not sure why he’s all dressed up, and Snow looks like she’s in a nightgown.  I guess you’d have to go back and watch the episode where they go talk to Rumple to see if it’s all in continuity.
  • Wow, Dallas has some pipes.
  • “Zootopia 2:  Frantic Pig Sings!”
  • Man, I love “Powerful Magic.”  I think Disney and musicals match so well with benign self-aware corn.
  • Hm.  I think that might have been a crappy dry cleaner.
  • Now, is there some reason why everyone can’t just pile in one of Regina’s station wagons and hightail it to New York where the curse wouldn’t work?
  • Hey they brought the mirror back!  And all the dwarfs and Geppetto!  Looking a little like a wrap-up when all the once-regulars start showing up.
  • Parilla is so game.
  • Emma, still not that good with the truthful part of her relationships.
  • Smee!  That’s a pretty deep cut.
  • Let’s us be real here.  I’m not sure there’s any particularly good reason for Snow and Charming to search out Hook, but it’s not like they’re going to have a big episode like this and not give O’Donoghue a number.
  • I feel like Hook should have his evil guyliner on for this.
  • I think O’Donoghue said he broke his foot standing on the chair in the beginning of this, which is pretty ouch.
  • I wonder if they were going to have him do more dancing, but after he broke his foot, just went for the lazy susan.
  • A fun number, but “Revenge” so far sounds a little more looped in afterwards than the others.
  • Hook never gets a break.
  • Henry doesn’t really get much of a part anymore.
  • Emma kept dragging that tape recorder around her entire life, and never once played that tape from childhood.
  • Love Robert Carlyle.  “You think the Dark One sings?  I’d rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty fork.”
  • Never was a huge fan of Zelina, but you have to admit that Bex Mader always gives it all she’s got.
  • Is there some reason Regina hasn’t placed protection spells over all their houses by now?
  • How did Emma know the Black Fairy was at Regina’s?
  • I guess it was nice that the Black Fairy just froze Hook instead of killing him.
  • Meanwhile, Henry is just kicking it at the office by himself.  “Yeah mom, tell me about how alone you are.”
  • There is nothing greater than the Evil Queen’s face when Snow and Charming start singing at her.
  • Lol.  The three of them look like they are trying desperately not to crack up.
  • Charming, who has the chance to kill Regina for the ninetieth time, but still just stands there and lets her do whatever to get out of it.
  • Nooo, not the voice-sucking machine!
  • If you didn’t need the big Zelina number, it would have made more sense that she got it from Ursula, but musical license.
  • I guess the Evil Queen didn’t want to just kill them while they were right there and defenseless.
  • I would put a protection spell on my heart, actually.
  • Ok, fun fact:  In real life, it’s not that good to drop someone’s heart on the floor.
  • I guess this is supposed to mirror the episode where Cora tried to rip out Emma’s heart yelling “LOVE IS WEAKNESS” and couldn’t do it because Emma countered “LOVE IS STRENGTH.”
  • The Black Fairy is all “I’m getting beat and I have to stand here and get sang at.”
  • I think it might have been more consistent if Emma had punctuated her first musical revelation with a right cross to the Black Fairy, but maybe they didn’t want to interrupt the song.
  • Zelina and Regina are all “I’ll just stand over here, then.”
  • SBARGE.
  • Doctor Hopper is the most underpaid guy in town, for all the work he does.
  • I guess Emma didn’t want to wear Snow’s Black Swan wedding dress.
  • Surely they will be Happy Forever After, getting married by Carth/Kaiden.
  • Whenever Hook picks her up, and they shoot from the back, I assume it’s a stand-in who doesn’t have a broken foot.
  • So here’s a thought:  Maybe, instead of getting married, they could have made another batch of the time-freezing potion and dropped it off on the watchtower?
  • HOLY CRAP, I just realized the song Emma’s singing/humming all the time is the Once Upon A Time theme song!

Once Upon A Time, S6E19: “The Black Fairy”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Newborn babies on TV are always so much better than newborn babies in real life.
  • Real newborns look like that movie “Alien,” but without teeth.
  • There are just Saviors popping out of the woodwork now.
  • Lol.  It looks like Gold is going to wake Blue up with a durian fruit.
  • You would think someone would have come up with charms everyone could wear that would flash if they were someone else in disguise or didn’t have their heart or something.
  • Like LoJack for hearts or something.
  • If Rumple could automagically put those anti-magic cuffs on anyone, you’d think he would have used them more often.
  • Belle, you moron.
  • If Emma succeeded in doing away with the Black Fairy, wouldn’t Gideon be able to go get his heart back by himself?
  • Rumple, you might not be thinking this all the way through.
  • Regina is determined that no one leaving Storybrooke is going to look stylish doing it.
  • Regina, you couldn’t even find her an automatic?!
  • Man, Tiger Lily is kind of a screwing-up fairy.
  • So, did we decide that even back when Belle first met Gideon and he warned her about Rumple, that he was being controlled by the Black Fairy?
  • You would think something as powerful as the wand, you’d just be able to detect by magic.
  • ALL THE LOL, that it was just sitting in a hole in the floor.
  • Oh look, Zelina figured out how to drive.
  • How does Rumple know instantly what he looked like as a baby?
  • Tiger Lily, you dope.  Why would you help her build this whole spell and only once it was done, think to ask what it was?
  • If you live in the Enchanted Forest, your destiny lies in your arm tattoo.
  • Regina’s all “the qualifications for Savior must be pretty low.”
  • OMG Belle.  You could shut it at any time.  The fact that he was supposed to be a Savior doesn’t negate all the evil he’s happily done all these years.
  • Belle is desperate to find something to justify her unhealthy addiction to Rumple.
  • Oh, but now if YOU kill the Black Fairy, suddenly it’s OK that we don’t know where Gideon’s heart is now, Gold?
  • Awesome.  You know, when I think someone’s magically going to kill me, I always let them put their hand on my head and cast a spell on me.
  • Tough luck, Fiona.  Rumple is in an excellent position to know whether you made the selfish choice.
  • Oh man, Carlyle is good.
  • Rumple, I am not so much believing you.
  • Belle, you are such a dupe.
  • Henry is honored, however it is also true that Hook has no other friends.
  • Rumple’s all “well, I never liked Swan anyway.”

Once Upon A Time, S6E18: “Where Bluebirds Fly”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Zelina is always the first stop in town for Evil Masterminds looking for a dupe.
  • At least it looks like Snow’s hair is growing out a little.
  • Oh, back with Belle.  Glad she’s totally forgotten all the hideous things Rumple did and is happily back with him again for the umpteenth time.
  • “You couldn’t have known that your mother was pulling all the strings!”  Belle, that doesn’t actually make him putting the Blue Fairy into a coma ok.
  • The only reason the two of you aren’t dumping her body into the street to make way for a loveseat is that you need her now.
  • WOW, I didn’t realize Belle never told anyone they essentially killed Blue for Gideon.
  • Belle, you are a total hero.
  • Zelina:  The Wicked Witch of Bad Decision Making.
  • That’s right, Charming.  You are the poster child of the art of stepping away.
  • Wow.  Zelina hasn’t been a major part of the story for so long, she’s still angry over stuff from last season.
  • Regina is probably all “I got split in half since then, and had to share hearts with an evil version of myself.  I barely remember what you’re talking about anymore.”
  • Hook has apparently forgotten about the part where he already lost the Jolly Roger in a bet.
  • No Snow.  No one wants to get married in Granny’s Diner.
  • The woods, the shore…even Regina’s office would look better, for Heaven’s sake.
  • Because everyone wants to get married to the tunes of a jukebox.
  • WTH Charming with the Whale thing.  This seems like questionable timing.
  • It’s hard to get too invested in Regina and Zelina trapped in the mines when we know they can literally poof themselves anywhere in an instant.
  • OMG, just let her go Regina.  No matter which one loses, I think it’s a win.
  • Those fairy crystals maybe have a pituitary problem.
  • Good going Zelina.  Again.
  • “I just knew you’d make the wrong decision.”  The Black Fairy is all of us.
  • Charming is hoping they can wait a little until he can save up enough to pay for the wedding on a sheriff’s salary.
  • Ok, if the crimson heart was a worthless piece of glass, how was it sucking out Zelina’s magic?  Because that actually seems like something that could be pretty useful.
  • It is a truism of this show, that the eviler you are, the better you wardrobe is.
  • Zelina has that cool cape-poncho and heeled boots, while Emma’s stuck with that thrift-store coat with the flowers on the chest.
  • Maybe Zelina could have tried to break the Tin Man’s curse with her own magic?  Like, maybe either losing all her own magic, or leaving him to rust wasn’t the only option?
  • Emma’s all MEE TOO and Zelina’s all “listen up five, two tens are speaking.”
  • “I’m not proud of what I did, but I did what I thought was best for myself.”  Yes Belle, that is EXACTLY what heroes do.
  • Except in the last episode, where the whole lesson was that heroes do THE EXACT OPPOSITE of that.
  • Ugh, Belle is so much the enabler for Gold.  I can’t even look at her.

Once Upon A Time, S6E17: “Awake”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • For someone so good at surviving, Hook certainly does get hit on the head and rendered unconscious a lot.
  • Wait, Emma still has Savior Parkinson’s?  I thought we solved that somehow.
  • Charming, you are the Prince of Bad Decisions.
  • Poor Regina can now only be evil in flashback.
  • The Ranunculus of Hope.
  • Ok, somehow this is not exactly how I remember this all going down.
  • Ok, I’m pretty sure this is not how I remember this happening.
  • I feel like when Charming woke up, they didn’t have this immediate lovely reunion.  I think he didn’t remember anything, then the curse took hold and he went back to his fake wife.
  • Then he cheated on his fake wife with Snow, and his wife found out and slapped her across the face in front of the whole school.
  • So I guess I can understand why they might want to remember it a little differently.
  • Zelena, fulfilling her contractual obligations to be in the show this season.
  • Well super glad we did this ill-advised science experiment.
  • This is why we have oversight committees for medical research.
  • I like how Emma is telling Charming that he made it all worse, when Regina is standing right there.
  • Lol that Zelina’s all “the flower that woke you up from the Dark Curse only grows in the presence of GREAT EVIL” and Regina is still standing right there.
  • To be fair, the Black Fairy enjoys having a lot of boys call her “mother.”
  • Wow, Rumple’s usually a little more careful with his dagger.
  • We are really retconning this flower into the first season.
  • Deux ex Tiger Lilia.
  • SBARGE
  • It’s snowing now?  What kind of weather patterns do they have in Storybrooke?
  • This is some bizarre backstory they’re giving Tiger Lily here.
  • Why can’t she just shoot them all with darts and put them to sleep like last time?
  • OH FAKEOUT
  • One last Ranunulus of Hope.
  • 10 years isn’t just a little bit longer, Snow.
  • Man, this is a pretty bogus decision Snow is making.  I would not buy anything Rumple told me for free.
  • Ok, 1) I feel like maybe we should finish the sleeping spell curse before their hearts give out, and 2) if you see a disembodied shadow flying around, I think you should have a pretty good idea of where it came from.
  • By this time, no one but Hook even remembers the grandfather thing.
  • You are about three crises behind, Hook.
  • For her big romantic scene, they couldn’t do better for her than have her in her Salvation Army dress with the Peter Pan collar?
  • Man Regina.  Haven’t you already tried your quotient of risky cures for the day?
  • And the whole rest of the town just sits and watches as all the main characters fall asleep forever.
  • “Finally we got rid of those jinxes!  Now maybe this town can lead a regular life!”
  • Oh, awesome.
  • I think it would have been hilarious if they all got up and yelled SURPRISE!
  • Glad Belle is of so much use to anyone she never shows up except to whine about how Gideon is really a good boy.
  • “If you come at me, there may be nothing left of this town when we finish.”
  • Rumple’s all “go for it.  I always hated this town to begin with.”

Once Upon A Time, S6E16: “Mother’s Little Helper”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • I feel as though if Gideon actually thought his cause was this righteous, he might have just asked for her help in the first place.
  • Enchanted people have some serious issues with their moms.
  • Frankly, I think it’s stretching a little to call this incarnation of Belle a hero.
  • I always love when people barge into Gold’s shop demanding help, because you know that by the time they leave, they will totally be his dupes.
  • Ok Gold, I think it’s a little harsh to blame every dark magic we ever saw on the Black Fairy, considering a good part of it actually came from you.
  • Hm.  Henry all of a sudden needs a corneal transplant.
  • Well that spell could have gone better.
  • Apparently it’s time for us to consider Gideon a good guy now?
  • It’s a tough game of cards when you’re playing with a deck that’s not numbered.
  • Wow, glad that the gentler, kindler Storybrooke never got rid of its Arkham Asylum in the basement of the hospital.
  • HAMILTON TICKETS
  • Roderick, referring vaguely to a dark curse and not wanting to think about what she is doing now is not particularly persuasive evidence against the Black Fairy.
  • How did Roderick find out all this magical stuff stuck in the mines?
  • Back to Neverland.
  • Nope, not Gideon’s redemption time yet.
  • “This is on you Gideon!  And my boot.”
  • Maybe Regina should make up a spell that makes people glow when they don’t have their hearts.
  • I guess we’re making up for the whole rest of the season Colin O’Donoghue sat out.
  • I’m not even sure why Gold saved Emma in the first place.
  • I guess maybe he wanted to know where Gideon went?
  • WED 1901

Once Upon A Time, S6E13: “Ill-Boding Patterns”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Ah, the Ogre Wars.  Part of the Rumple family album.
  • Man, Carlyle is getting a workout this season.
  • Sbaaaaarge
  • I dunno Hook.  Emma’s not always strong on the forgiveness front.
  • Belle, you are such a dolt.
  • Beowulf was kind of a dick.
  • Neal seems a little older here than when he got sucked into the portal.
  • Too bad Regina doesn’t have Emma’s superpower today.
  • Rumple, your son’s soul might already be missing.
  • How on Earth do you think Rumple is going to defeat Grendel without any magic, Bae?  He doesn’t even have a weapon!
  • Oh Regina.  You never do catch a break, do you.
  • You would think that the easiest thing would have been for Rumple to use his powers one last time, blink the two of them to a different town where no one knows them, and then start life over from that point.
  • You would also think that if Gideon knew that the Black Fairy was occupied and his cage door was unlocked (and he couldn’t save the other kid,) he would have just gotten out and left.
  • Good thing we never contemplated telling Belle that we found Gideon, Rumple.
  • Regina really needs to reincorporate the Evil Queen to get rid of these maudlin tendencies.
  • Well this puts a pretty poor light on all those self-righteous speeches Baelfire used to make, given that he was the one who started Rumple on his dark course to begin with.
  • It’s nice that Gold and his son finally found an activity they could do together (killing fairies.)
  • Rumple does enjoy his memory potions.
  • Ouch.
  • That dagger certainly was turning someone into a monster.
  • Baelfire had like the least resistance to evil of anyone so far.  He lasted all of about 10 minutes.
  • Of course Belle has about the same resistance to evil that Baelfire had.
  • Belle loves Rumple again, because he stepped up and volunteered to kill the fairy he’s wanted to kill for years?  This doesn’t seem like that big of a sacrifice on his part, Belle.
  • Meanwhile, Hook has spent this whole episode drinking at Granny’s.
  • You’d think Granny would cut a guy off after awhile.
  • OMG Emma.
  • Emma, you are the worst!  Why would you do that?
  • I guess when you think of it, Evil!Robin! and the Evil Queen are a pretty good match.

Once Upon A Time, S6E12: “Murder Most Foul”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • I see we’re trying to make Charming’s mom seem less lousy than she seemed before, selling off both sons.
  • Such cute babies.
  • What on Earth is Emma wearing?  It looks like someone’s Grandmother’s muumuu.
  • It’s like her sense of style went away with the Dark One.
  • I still don’t get how we decided that that one fight was the one she saw in her dreams, when it didn’t look anything like it, she didn’t kill or even dissuade the dude, and she wasn’t dressed the same.
  • I feel like that fall would have been more convincing if his head had actually hit the ground.
  • Regina, Mayor of AwkwardTown.
  • Snow’s back!  The award season for “Zootopia” must be over now.
  • Sbaaaarge.
  • Well to be fair, Archie, Hook didn’t say he bought the ring.  Maybe he pillaged it.
  • The Charming family tree tendency to not share information starts at the trunk, I see.
  • Hook, starting to wonder if it’s really a good idea to marry into this family in the first place.
  • Nice Charming.  Always a good move to ask people for help after you’ve insulted them.
  • Zelena, making an appearance so we remember she’s still a regular.
  • Well, who among us has not had to make the people we love promise not to keep running away and trying to kill other people.
  • Ah, this is apparently the “Charming is a jackass and learns a valuable lesson” episode for the season.
  • Oh man, that was a great Rumple moment.
  • Carlyle is awesome.
  • Oh NOW Emma’s superpower suddenly came back.
  • Isn’t Emma going to wonder when Hook didn’t even bother to wait around until she came out of the shed?
  • It does seem a little weird that Good Regina never gave back any of those hearts she took.
  • Wait, there are girls on Pleasure Island?  Wasn’t it part of the deal that there were only boys turning into donkeys?
  • Pinocchio, still a cheap thief even at that age.
  • Wow, that was a pretty ineffective way of protecting the boy, shepherd.
  • Charming, you are only going to screw this up.  You know this, we know this.
  • I guess they weren’t big on autopsies back in the Enchanted Forest.
  • A nice scene with Charming and Hook, after all.
  • Of course, it would have been pretty harsh for Charming to turn him down, given that Hook’s saved his life plenty by now.
  • I guess you’re not going to ask SNOW for her blessing?
  • …What?
  • Oh, this is unfortunate.
  • It’s Bucky Barnes and “Civil War” all over again.