Tag Archives: Mr. Gold

Once Upon A Time, S6E8: “I’ll Be Your Mirror”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Ok, back after a couple weeks off. I see we are still in Ladyhawke mode. 
  • Had we established Regina had powers over all mirrors?  That seems like it would have come in handy for her in the past. 
  • Actually, this might be the best Snow and Charming’s relationship has ever been. 
  • Henry and Violet are so undramatic for such a constantly tumultuous romance. 
  • Man, Regina really isn’t firing on all cylinders lately. 
  • I feel as though Henry and Co. might have come up with tells for each other by now, in case of shape shifters. 
  • Oh man, Belle. Why in God’s Name would you think Zelina gives a rat’s ass about you or your baby?
  • Too bad the Will Scarlett dude from Wonderland’s contract apparently ran out, since he used to be the best thief in town. 
  • Belle now turning to full-out villain, as she guilt-trips some guy she doesn’t even know into sacrificing himself for her and her baby. 
  • The real person responsible for her sitch is, of course BELLE, and her chronically bad decision-making process. 
  • Still don’t get why Gold is so quick to get into bed, figuratively and literally, with the Evil Queen, when it seems clear it would serve him better with Belle to side against her. Isn’t she his whole purpose now?
  • Why does Evil Queen keep looking like she’s tearing up every time she talks to Henry?  Surely she can’t be capable of good impulses, the way Regina is capable of bad? 
  • I thought she was just the evil bits, not a fully developed person. 
  • Oh, oops. No one forgets a slouching nag. 
  • Shouldn’t Belle have a key to the shop by now?
  • I see Henry has the same success rate as his moms. 
  • I think they have had better dragons before. 
  • Did Emma just try stopping this dragon by throwing a rock at it while it flew by?
  • Ok, I thought they had a plan of some sort. Why did they start screaming for Henry to help them?
  • Henry:  Still the smartest guy in the room. 
  • Good thing Hook has so much practice shaking off concussions by now. 
  • Uhm, did we forget about the Dragon, who’s still stuck back there in the mirror?
  • Without his heart?
  • Jasmine might feel better about herself if she’d seen Belle try to talk Gold out of helping Emma get Hook back from the Underworld. 
  • Belle, don’t you think struggling before he slapped the cuff on you would have been more useful?
  • This must be the easiest week of work ever for Goodwin and Dallas. They basically just smooch and nap for the whole thing. 
  • Henry, you are so worth a better storyline than this cringeworthy teen romance. 
  • Oh ew
  • I guess Evil Queen and Gold were plotting something, but I was too busy pouring bleach in my eyes after they licked each other’s open mouth. 
  • Although, still less ew than Gold and Belle. 
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Once Upon A Time, S5E17: “Her Handsome Hero”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I would have said while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Well, they did a pretty good job in matching this guy’s outfit to the movie Gaston’s. 
  • Belle is kind of a pushover. 
  • GDI Belle. Gold’s not good. He doesn’t wanna be good. He’s never gonna be good.
  • It must be pretty cold if they finally got Emma a sturdy jacket. 
  • Maybe Emma could tell Snow about the foreshadowing of her doom?
  • Hades is kind of a mouth-breather. 
  • Does Gaston work in an animal shelter?
  • The way to Belle’s heart has always been to support her half-baked plans. 
  • Like literally, Merida almost crushed her skull with a rock, and she still helped her because she was flattered anyone believed in her magical prowess. 
  • Yeah, I think once someone kills you and makes you suffer for eternity, it’s probably a little late to kumbaya that over. 
  • Wait, doesn’t Zelena hate everyone again, since Hades told her he was on her side?
  • Gold does have a point. Belle is just using him like AAA when she wants something. 
  • “Here’s where she meets Price Charming, but she won’t discover that its him till chapter three.”
  • Regina became Dr. Phil all of a sudden. 
  • Well, Emma is kind of right. This was a terrible plan. 
  • But, it’s not like this is any different from all their other terrible plans. 
  • Actually Emma, I seem to remember you forcing Gold to come down here pretty good. 
  • I like how Gaston and Gold are totes down with murder, but breaking into a man’s locker? Sacré bleu!
  • It is a bad day for Gaston. 
  • Belle is such a dip. There is no way Gaston didn’t orchestrate all this. 
  • Holy Lipsmacking Gobstopper. Does Belle actually think Gold will keep his word to her?  When this has never happened before?
  • You are all the bad judgement, Belle. 
  • “We don’t like what we don’t understand, in fact it scares us, and this monster is mysterious at least…”
  • Gold does like to chat over his vengeance-getting. 
  • Well that could have gone better. 
  • Belle’s Dad is so much worse than Merida’s Mom. 
  • I guess you’d think Belle would like Gaston better for being a monster, like with Rumple. 
  • Glad Belle is apparently ok now, with all the lies and evil and betrayal Rumple’s accomplished during their marriage. 
  • By this time, I feel like Hades might be a better parent than either of them. 
  • Red’s back!  Yay!  Er…is she dead?

Once Upon A Time, S5E14: “Devil’s Due”

Spoiler Thoughts:
  • “Keep all arms and hand inside the boat.”  Insult to injury. 
  • For all the terrible things Gold does, you can’t say that he doesn’t get swift and brutal karmic retribution most of the time. 
  • Man, Bae didn’t really have great survival instincts. 
  • Mila is the worst, but Gold is doing a pretty fast dive to the bottom as well here. 
  • Gold just loves the humiliation. 
  • This healer isn’t all that altruistic. 
  • Apparently he doesn’t take HMO. 
  • Rumple, feeling the disquiet when your ex becomes friends with your associates. 
  • How’s Mila thinking she’s going to shout out before Rumple silences her?
  • Lady Macbeth has nothing on Mila. 
  • Wow, Killian really improved in this flashback. He was a pretty common sleeze in the first time we checked this story. Now he’s a total white knight. 
  • Convenient that the road from the boat led directly to Hook. 
  • You would think Emma would have learned to wear rubber soled shoes on these missions by now. 
  • Actually, if Hook just swung a couple degrees while he was getting lowered down, he could have freed himself. 
  • I just feel like we could have bargained more with the healer instead of going immediately to homicide. 
  • I’m not sure I would be sitting down to tea with the guy who just tried to kill me. 
  • I wouldn’t be standing that close to the river of the damned. 
  • Rumple’s life is just a series of increasingly horrible deals. 
  • Regina is getting closure all over the place this season. 
  • This actually doesn’t seem like the worst deal Rumple could have made, but maybe he should have tried to put time limits on it. 
  • I’m not so sure why Mila’s so bent out of shape about this. He only sold his next kid, not hers. 
  • Rumple, you goober. 
  • I don’t really remember when Regina’s magic left. 
  • “She made me who I am.”  Carlyle is so good. 
  • Well remember Cora couldn’t grab Emma’s heart either. 
  • It must be such a relief to play full-blown Dark Rumple after having to be all angsty the rest of the episode. 
  • Ugh. I didn’t need to know what he and Belle were doing right before he left. 
  • Man, you would think, after all this time, Rumple would know how to construct a deal. 

Once Upon A Time, S5E12: “Souls of the Departed”

The Underworld has better tailors.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Neal! I’m sure he’s glad that Emma went to Hell to get Hook back, but not him. 
  • “I’ve always loved you and I always will.”  Ok, see you. Time to get back to the amusement park. 
  • Oh good. They went to the “Walking Dead” version of Storybrooke. 
  • Is that Phoebe’s brother? From “Friends?”
  • Well kind of a crappy birthday for Regina. 
  • At least she got pie. 
  • Cora! Looking kinda evil. 
  • I’m not sure splitting up is ever a great idea. 
  • Eeeevil Charming! And Snow White couldn’t tell who was macking on her!
  • Yeah, you might want to table that discussion for another time, Snow. 
  • Regina has way better clothes as queen. 
  • Cora, it took you too long to realize it because you ripped out your own heart. 
  • Well bye, Phoebe’s brother.
  • Regina seems a little bit shocked at murder for someone who once killed a whole village of people. 
  • Belle is pretty heartless now, considering she doesn’t even want Gold to go help rescue Hook. 
  • The Master of Time and Space!  And he still has that subconjunctival heme on the right eye. 
  • I like this kid. 
  • Preggers Snow White!
  • Man, Regina’s dad was pretty ineffectual, and so far he was the best dad. 
  • I think Peter Pan watered down the potion. 
  • OMG! This is supposed to mirror the first episode when it was Emma’s birthday!
  • …What?
  • Ignoring the thing with the hearts, did Jiminy Cricket just spend time in Snow White’s boobs?!
  • She seems a lot more ok with this than I’d expect. 
  • Regina, I think you eventually did something to hurt him. 
  • Did Regina steal the potion?
  • Actually, isn’t Regina’s father in no way related to Henry?
  • I forget how whether Cora ended up with the King or the Prince, but they seemed pretty awful back then. I guess living with Cora could make you sensible of the need for virtue after awhile. 
  • I don’t know that I buy Gold turning back to total evil again. It’s pretty soon after he achieved hero status. 
  • So looking back, the whole thing seems like it was supposed to be a mirror to episode one–in which Emma has a birthday, makes a wish to not be alone, gets Henry (Jr.), begins to believe in the curse, and the clock starts ticking.
  • Episode 100, Regina has a birthday, makes a wish to kill Snow, loses Henry (Sr.), begins to believe in herself, and the clock starts ticking.
  • Wait, did we forget about Hook burning in Hellfire while we start going around saving everyone?

Once Upon A Time, S5E11: “Swan Song”

Ok, new Once Upon A Time tonight.  Time to catch up!

Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Wow, people had pretty crap fathers in Storybrooke. 
  • You can tell Emma’s getting good again, because her makeup is getting softer. 
  • Only evil girls wear bright red lipstick. That’s the law. 
  • Gold is kind of a downer here. 
  • Oh crap, I don’t remember Regina testing Hook. Did we see it already? Or are we going to flashback?
  • Oh, flashback. 
  • Because promises where you have to swear not to tell anyone ever always go well. 
  • Belle’s getting creeped out. 
  • Wow, Belle was all “thanks for the car. Bye bitches.”
  • Gold might be a hero, but still slow on the self-sacrifice scale. 
  • Oh man, I hope not Zelina. I think we’ve seen quite enough of you. 
  • I guess Granny took a powder after making the burgers?
  • This is apparently the family of good-looking guys who never get old. 
  • He fell in love while he was asleep?
  • That Mila is the source of all evil. 
  • Man, that was pretty slow-witted of Emma. 
  • Oh wow, that Neal is a cute baby. 
  • Ouch, Killian’s Dad. You could have at least made up a new bedtime motto.
  • Well that could have gone better. 
  • So Hook was able to turn it around with the memory of his Dad, but not with Emma?
  • Kinda deux ex machina, but ok. 
  • Poor Emma. 
  • Although if she had done this from the beginning, Merlin would still be alive. 
  • Nice that Storybrooke’s paramedics are still gainfully employed. 
  • Belle is kind of a sap. 
  • Urg.  Seeing them just have slept together is not making this relationship less squidgy.
  • Oh Gold. 
  • You can take the man out of the Dark…
  • Yeah Snow. You just try to be judgey in these circumstances. 
  • Gold is all “why should I get my shoes ruined?”
  • So summing up this first half of the season:  Clothes were better and I liked the additions to the Dark One mythology.
  • Still, a lot of it seemed like treading water. What happened to Arthur? We spent a lot of time on his story to just have him vanish at the end.
  • Plus, are we really ok with leaving Guinevere all date-rape drugged into submission by Arthur?
  • I’m not totally sure I buy Gold wanting the darkness back after he had already achieved hero-ness.  I feel like without the darkness, he should have been repelled at the idea of taking it back.
  • The whole end to Dark!Hook! was very Buffy/Angel.
  • Also, what was the point of making a big deal of bringing half the Town to Camelot?  They certainly didn’t do much once they were there.
  • I’m not sure what Regina was getting at when she kept needling Hook to remember about his Dad.  How did she know that would make the difference?
  • I hope Zelina takes a powder for awhile.  That character is becoming gratingly one-note.
  • It appeared that all the dwarfs got marked as well by the Dark Ones.  How come they didn’t show up by the lake at the end?
  • Everyone was so anxious to come along to Camelot, but strangely enough, no one seems to have wanted to tag along to Hell.

Once Upon A Time, S5E10: “Broken Heart”

Ok, only a week or so before Once Upon A Time starts up again.  Time to catch up!

Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Rumple is the best. 
  • As the years go on, I feel like Rumple’s green-ness gets a little more spottier applied. 
  • Yeah, that’s right Regina. You try being judgey in this circumstance. 
  • I always think these guys must love it when their characters go evil again. It’s so much more to play. 
  • Especially Hook, who was just relegated to pining after Emma for so long. 
  • The Dark Ones have chronicles?
  • Everyone wishing they were somewhere else, while Henry lowers the boom down on Emma. 
  • I do think Emma’s getting the short end of the stick. It’s not like any of them could gave helped her even if she came to them. 
  • They’d just be all “oh, tough about Hook. Well, back to frolicking around with my true love some more. Bye.”
  • They did get a spiffy new wardrobe back in Camelot. 
  • I think these open-ended “meet me here and I’ll know how you feel” arrangements are recipes for disaster. 
  • Ugh. If anything would make me want the Dark Ones to win, it’s Merida. 
  • Why would Emma leave him alone? She knows Rumple will come back. 
  • This seems like Hook’s overreacting a little here. 
  • Yeah, that’s right Gold. You try being judgey in these circumstances. 
  • What’s to prevent Zelina from just zapping off with the baby?
  • Kind of justice, since Merlin being a sap created the Dark Ones to begin with. 
  • Henry’s awesome. 
  • Ha ha. Rumple saving Gold is great. 
  • I feel like we’ve played this scene out by the well a few times before. 
  • Rumple is such a helper. 
  • Wait, there’s a portal to the underworld that just happens to be in a lake in Storybrooke?
  • I don’t know whether that should make the real estate value go up or down. 
  • I totally don’t remember the thing with Robin and the fury.