Tag Archives: Mr. Gold

Once Upon A Time, S6E19: “The Black Fairy”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Newborn babies on TV are always so much better than newborn babies in real life.
  • Real newborns look like that movie “Alien,” but without teeth.
  • There are just Saviors popping out of the woodwork now.
  • Lol.  It looks like Gold is going to wake Blue up with a durian fruit.
  • You would think someone would have come up with charms everyone could wear that would flash if they were someone else in disguise or didn’t have their heart or something.
  • Like LoJack for hearts or something.
  • If Rumple could automagically put those anti-magic cuffs on anyone, you’d think he would have used them more often.
  • Belle, you moron.
  • If Emma succeeded in doing away with the Black Fairy, wouldn’t Gideon be able to go get his heart back by himself?
  • Rumple, you might not be thinking this all the way through.
  • Regina is determined that no one leaving Storybrooke is going to look stylish doing it.
  • Regina, you couldn’t even find her an automatic?!
  • Man, Tiger Lily is kind of a screwing-up fairy.
  • So, did we decide that even back when Belle first met Gideon and he warned her about Rumple, that he was being controlled by the Black Fairy?
  • You would think something as powerful as the wand, you’d just be able to detect by magic.
  • ALL THE LOL, that it was just sitting in a hole in the floor.
  • Oh look, Zelina figured out how to drive.
  • How does Rumple know instantly what he looked like as a baby?
  • Tiger Lily, you dope.  Why would you help her build this whole spell and only once it was done, think to ask what it was?
  • If you live in the Enchanted Forest, your destiny lies in your arm tattoo.
  • Regina’s all “the qualifications for Savior must be pretty low.”
  • OMG Belle.  You could shut it at any time.  The fact that he was supposed to be a Savior doesn’t negate all the evil he’s happily done all these years.
  • Belle is desperate to find something to justify her unhealthy addiction to Rumple.
  • Oh, but now if YOU kill the Black Fairy, suddenly it’s OK that we don’t know where Gideon’s heart is now, Gold?
  • Awesome.  You know, when I think someone’s magically going to kill me, I always let them put their hand on my head and cast a spell on me.
  • Tough luck, Fiona.  Rumple is in an excellent position to know whether you made the selfish choice.
  • Oh man, Carlyle is good.
  • Rumple, I am not so much believing you.
  • Belle, you are such a dupe.
  • Henry is honored, however it is also true that Hook has no other friends.
  • Rumple’s all “well, I never liked Swan anyway.”

Once Upon A Time, S6E18: “Where Bluebirds Fly”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Zelina is always the first stop in town for Evil Masterminds looking for a dupe.
  • At least it looks like Snow’s hair is growing out a little.
  • Oh, back with Belle.  Glad she’s totally forgotten all the hideous things Rumple did and is happily back with him again for the umpteenth time.
  • “You couldn’t have known that your mother was pulling all the strings!”  Belle, that doesn’t actually make him putting the Blue Fairy into a coma ok.
  • The only reason the two of you aren’t dumping her body into the street to make way for a loveseat is that you need her now.
  • WOW, I didn’t realize Belle never told anyone they essentially killed Blue for Gideon.
  • Belle, you are a total hero.
  • Zelina:  The Wicked Witch of Bad Decision Making.
  • That’s right, Charming.  You are the poster child of the art of stepping away.
  • Wow.  Zelina hasn’t been a major part of the story for so long, she’s still angry over stuff from last season.
  • Regina is probably all “I got split in half since then, and had to share hearts with an evil version of myself.  I barely remember what you’re talking about anymore.”
  • Hook has apparently forgotten about the part where he already lost the Jolly Roger in a bet.
  • No Snow.  No one wants to get married in Granny’s Diner.
  • The woods, the shore…even Regina’s office would look better, for Heaven’s sake.
  • Because everyone wants to get married to the tunes of a jukebox.
  • WTH Charming with the Whale thing.  This seems like questionable timing.
  • It’s hard to get too invested in Regina and Zelina trapped in the mines when we know they can literally poof themselves anywhere in an instant.
  • OMG, just let her go Regina.  No matter which one loses, I think it’s a win.
  • Those fairy crystals maybe have a pituitary problem.
  • Good going Zelina.  Again.
  • “I just knew you’d make the wrong decision.”  The Black Fairy is all of us.
  • Charming is hoping they can wait a little until he can save up enough to pay for the wedding on a sheriff’s salary.
  • Ok, if the crimson heart was a worthless piece of glass, how was it sucking out Zelina’s magic?  Because that actually seems like something that could be pretty useful.
  • It is a truism of this show, that the eviler you are, the better you wardrobe is.
  • Zelina has that cool cape-poncho and heeled boots, while Emma’s stuck with that thrift-store coat with the flowers on the chest.
  • Maybe Zelina could have tried to break the Tin Man’s curse with her own magic?  Like, maybe either losing all her own magic, or leaving him to rust wasn’t the only option?
  • Emma’s all MEE TOO and Zelina’s all “listen up five, two tens are speaking.”
  • “I’m not proud of what I did, but I did what I thought was best for myself.”  Yes Belle, that is EXACTLY what heroes do.
  • Except in the last episode, where the whole lesson was that heroes do THE EXACT OPPOSITE of that.
  • Ugh, Belle is so much the enabler for Gold.  I can’t even look at her.

Once Upon A Time, S6E17: “Awake”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • For someone so good at surviving, Hook certainly does get hit on the head and rendered unconscious a lot.
  • Wait, Emma still has Savior Parkinson’s?  I thought we solved that somehow.
  • Charming, you are the Prince of Bad Decisions.
  • Poor Regina can now only be evil in flashback.
  • The Ranunculus of Hope.
  • Ok, somehow this is not exactly how I remember this all going down.
  • Ok, I’m pretty sure this is not how I remember this happening.
  • I feel like when Charming woke up, they didn’t have this immediate lovely reunion.  I think he didn’t remember anything, then the curse took hold and he went back to his fake wife.
  • Then he cheated on his fake wife with Snow, and his wife found out and slapped her across the face in front of the whole school.
  • So I guess I can understand why they might want to remember it a little differently.
  • Zelena, fulfilling her contractual obligations to be in the show this season.
  • Well super glad we did this ill-advised science experiment.
  • This is why we have oversight committees for medical research.
  • I like how Emma is telling Charming that he made it all worse, when Regina is standing right there.
  • Lol that Zelina’s all “the flower that woke you up from the Dark Curse only grows in the presence of GREAT EVIL” and Regina is still standing right there.
  • To be fair, the Black Fairy enjoys having a lot of boys call her “mother.”
  • Wow, Rumple’s usually a little more careful with his dagger.
  • We are really retconning this flower into the first season.
  • Deux ex Tiger Lilia.
  • It’s snowing now?  What kind of weather patterns do they have in Storybrooke?
  • This is some bizarre backstory they’re giving Tiger Lily here.
  • Why can’t she just shoot them all with darts and put them to sleep like last time?
  • One last Ranunulus of Hope.
  • 10 years isn’t just a little bit longer, Snow.
  • Man, this is a pretty bogus decision Snow is making.  I would not buy anything Rumple told me for free.
  • Ok, 1) I feel like maybe we should finish the sleeping spell curse before their hearts give out, and 2) if you see a disembodied shadow flying around, I think you should have a pretty good idea of where it came from.
  • By this time, no one but Hook even remembers the grandfather thing.
  • You are about three crises behind, Hook.
  • For her big romantic scene, they couldn’t do better for her than have her in her Salvation Army dress with the Peter Pan collar?
  • Man Regina.  Haven’t you already tried your quotient of risky cures for the day?
  • And the whole rest of the town just sits and watches as all the main characters fall asleep forever.
  • “Finally we got rid of those jinxes!  Now maybe this town can lead a regular life!”
  • Oh, awesome.
  • I think it would have been hilarious if they all got up and yelled SURPRISE!
  • Glad Belle is of so much use to anyone she never shows up except to whine about how Gideon is really a good boy.
  • “If you come at me, there may be nothing left of this town when we finish.”
  • Rumple’s all “go for it.  I always hated this town to begin with.”

Once Upon A Time, S6E16: “Mother’s Little Helper”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • I feel as though if Gideon actually thought his cause was this righteous, he might have just asked for her help in the first place.
  • Enchanted people have some serious issues with their moms.
  • Frankly, I think it’s stretching a little to call this incarnation of Belle a hero.
  • I always love when people barge into Gold’s shop demanding help, because you know that by the time they leave, they will totally be his dupes.
  • Ok Gold, I think it’s a little harsh to blame every dark magic we ever saw on the Black Fairy, considering a good part of it actually came from you.
  • Hm.  Henry all of a sudden needs a corneal transplant.
  • Well that spell could have gone better.
  • Apparently it’s time for us to consider Gideon a good guy now?
  • It’s a tough game of cards when you’re playing with a deck that’s not numbered.
  • Wow, glad that the gentler, kindler Storybrooke never got rid of its Arkham Asylum in the basement of the hospital.
  • Roderick, referring vaguely to a dark curse and not wanting to think about what she is doing now is not particularly persuasive evidence against the Black Fairy.
  • How did Roderick find out all this magical stuff stuck in the mines?
  • Back to Neverland.
  • Nope, not Gideon’s redemption time yet.
  • “This is on you Gideon!  And my boot.”
  • Maybe Regina should make up a spell that makes people glow when they don’t have their hearts.
  • I guess we’re making up for the whole rest of the season Colin O’Donoghue sat out.
  • I’m not even sure why Gold saved Emma in the first place.
  • I guess maybe he wanted to know where Gideon went?
  • WED 1901

Once Upon A Time, S6E11: “Tougher Than The Rest”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Man, Henry is not a good tracker.
  • It’s hard to understand how Charming could feel that the appearance of the hooded dude whose coming has been foretold for the last year in Emma’s dreams is all because of his lame wish.
  • Well I guess the Black Fairy raised at least one kid.
  • Ok, I think young RumpleBelleSpawn may be confused as to how heroism works.
  • It’s not like you pass down being a hero by killing and eating the last one.
  • Maybe “Her Handsome Hero” was kind of a crappy book.
  • I like how Rumple doesn’t try to tell him how insane this is, but just starts trying to advise him on the technical difficulty.
  • Oh it’s Pinocchio!
  • Lying, thieving, ratfink Pinocchio!
  • Are you kidding me?!  Regina wrote that whole page-full of note in the five seconds it took Pinocchio to tell Emma about the Enchanted Grove?
  • I guess we know from whom Henry got his writing talent.
  • Regina, how well did you really think this would work?
  • Shouldn’t Robin be married, with a kid at this point?
  • It is amazing to me, how willing Storybrooke people are to just stand there while someone ties a bracelet on them.
  • Tip from me to you:  If someone who hates you starts putting something on your wrist without asking, you should probably shake it off first, and ask questions later.
  • Colin O’Donoghue, come to do his specialty number for the season.
  • Actually, can’t the Jolly Roger travel between worlds?
  • I guess the theme of tonight’s episode is sons and their father-induced angst.
  • Ok, I’m not sure how Robin’s timeline is working here.  How did Marian die before they got married, when Regina was supposed to kill her long after that?
  • Oh, Belle didn’t make it in this world.  So, already an improvement.
  • LOL that Charming thinks the best plan of action is to just never wake Snow up again.
  • For that matter, that means he can’t sleep either, which should do wonders to his already-tenuous state of mind.
  • Belle, walking in and basically asking Hook and Charming to let her son kill Emma.
  • “Can you trust me?”  Well, since you’ve already said that you’re ok with Rumple going off to find your son and help him kill Emma, I’m going to go with “no.”
  • Robin’s all “I’ll believe whatever you want.  We’re going to die in a couple minutes anyway.”
  • Robin, if you can pick any lock, why don’t you open up Regina’s cuff?
  • Look, Pinocchio was creeping on Emma even as a teen.
  • Emma, remember the last time you brought someone back?  And it was Marian, which was a disaster?  And then it turned out to be Zelina which was even more of a disaster?
  • Meanwhile, Pinocchio is all “um, could you guys get out before Rumple or Henry comes and kills me as an accessory?”
  • Good thing the tree Emma came from was a little better crafted, so it didn’t explode out babies.
  • I feel like this isn’t the fight in her vision, unless she all of a sudden takes off her jacket to reveal that she put on a tank top to go out in the cold rain that morning.
  • Hook is all “I don’t know what you’re talking about, and I had very little to do this season.”
  • Glad you kept tabs on Emma while she was out on the streets, Pinocchio.  I guess your interest didn’t actually extend to taking her in off the streets.
  • I still always think Pinocchio got off way too easy, for having actively ruined Emma’s life for the first 28 years.
  • If Belle ends up macking on Rumple at the end of this scene, after everything that has transpired, I don’t know what to say.
  • Rumple’s rationales for all the weird crap he’s tried to do this whole season don’t make any more sense in retrospect.
  • Gideon hates libraries.

Once Upon A Time, S6E10: “Wish You Were Here”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • I see we haven’t learned the whole lesson of having to accept all parts of yourself yet.
  • Not a huge fan of Regina’s new haircut.  She always looks fabulous as the Evil Queen, tho.
  • Hey, good thing Aladdin took the leap and became the genie and Jasmine just sat around and never even made her wish.
  • Lol that the Charmings had a portrait made of Neal.
  • Nice that Team Hero is as good at working together as they ever were.
  • “Ew.”
  • Well, TBF, the Evil Queen probably couldn’t have accomplished half as much without the help of Jasmine.
  • Really Regina?  That’s your wish?  You didn’t want to wish that, say, you had never split off the Evil Queen in the first place?
  • Because I feel like that would have solved a bunch of problems.
  • Also, maybe would have thrown in a 3rd wish, that Aladdin was free, and then the season would have been over?
  • Here’s a thought Regina:  Maybe now is a good time to use those shape-shifting powers.
  • Emma, doing the full-on Briar Rose routine.
  • Nice to know that in any reality, Charming never gets to land a blow on Regina.
  • “I can’t bear to think what she’s doing to Aladdin.”  Way to get your head in the game, Jasmine.
  • Now Hook, I’m not saying you shouldn’t have faith in Charming’s plan.  I’m just saying that never, in the course of history, has any of Charming’s plans worked.
  • Wow, Carlyle’s had to get the makeup on more times in the last couple episodes than in the last couple seasons.
  • Regina, allying with Rumple is maybe not the best way to win Emma’s confidence.
  • “Be evil!  Have fun storming the castle!”
  • I guess I would have just assumed that Blue took Gideon somewhere into a different realm.  How could he be safe anywhere on Earth where Rumple could get at him?
  • Lol at the guards slamming the doors shut, not bothering to notice Regina standing right there.
  • First episode call back!
  • Regina cannot believe Emma is this useless.
  • Maybe this is the episode where we learn our lesson about good and evil both being necessary?
  • What does that even mean, Charming?
  • Wow, it’s amazing that he managed to make a worse wish than Regina.
  • Regina, I feel like this plan was maybe not that well thought out.
  • Savior-killing cloak guy arrives!
  • Goodbye, relatively ineffectual Jasmine and Aladdin.
  • GDI Belle, if you go back to Rumple now…
  • Man, it is hard to think of a bigger flail of an ending than that.

Once Upon A Time, S6E9: “Changelings”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Alright, back to playing catch up with Storybrooke.
  • Actually, did we ever actually see Rumple taking a kid?  He totally failed with Cora.
  • I guess maybe Charming and his bro, but TBF, their Mom wasn’t all that good at staying attached.
  • Oh man, one Asian girl in the whole town, and he poofed her away.
  • Maybe that fairy should, I don’t know, make an attempt to get away?
  • The idea that either Rumple or the Evil Queen would ever trust each other is laughable.
  • Belle.  Constantly in distress.
  • I feel like a magical book that appears and tells you exactly what you’re looking for is mildly suspect.
  • I guess the non-fiction section is in a cave?
  • …And on the other hand, I’m not sure I’d believe any rando that shows up in my dreams and tells me he’s my son, either.
  • Jasmine, you haven’t been in Storybrooke for very long, so let me give you a heads-up:  Snow doesn’t always give the best advice.
  • Zelina, once again finding out what happens when you back the wrong horse.
  • You were already going to kill Hook, Rumple.  I’m not sure threatening him now is likely to be more effective.
  • Rumple, always two steps in front of everyone, throughout time.
  • The only one who could ever really defeat Rumple, is Rumple.
  • Didn’t we play out the crazy love-starved parent story with Zelina already?
  • It seems weird that Regina is so hung up on Zelina’s part in Robin’s death now.  Did I forget or didn’t they become best buds after that?
  • If Jasmine can just free Aladdin with a wish, it doesn’t seem like becoming a genie is such a big commitment.
  • “My magic can’t save him.”  Uhm…why, exactly?
  • Granny got screen time again!
  • Oh, maybe it wasn’t Granny.
  • Glad that Rumple couldn’t have done this Black Fairy deal at all without Belle’s meddling.  She really is the weakest link.
  • There ought to be a lucrative secondary market for squid ink.
  • OH SNAP.
  • Belle gets to find her own way back home.
  • Huh.  I always thought Rumple hated fairies because Blue wouldn’t help him get Neal back.
  • Why doesn’t Belle ask to go with her baby?  At least Snow had a reason.
  • This kind of feels like they needed to get rid of a baby but keep a regular character.
  • “I would never hurt you Belle.”  I kind of feel like you might have, Rumple.
  • Parilla and Carlyle are never better when they’re being opposing evils.
  • Emma, it’s a nice sentiment, but you really didn’t accomplish anything today.