Tag Archives: King Arthur

Once Upon A Time, S5E21: “Last Rites”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Hades and Zelena are so magical, it is raining everywhere but on them. 
  • Oh look, it’s that jerk Arthur. 
  • Look, they’re bonding over mutual evil. 
  • Ooh, that sounded like really bad chiropracty. Tough luck Arthur. 
  • Man, Merida is so awful. 
  • Zelina. Still continuing to back every wrong horse she sees. 
  • It is a truly sorry Underworld when the only person you can find to help you with your quest is the dude who killed you. 
  • This show is really not endearing Merida to me. 
  • Doesn’t Zelina think Regina is going to want her house back?
  • Emma’s not having a good day. 
  • Robin is apparently still grumpy at having sat out the first half of the season. 
  • Oh Rumple’s going to blame Emma for this whole thing. I don’t think she was around when you sold your kid, Rumple. 
  • That’s pretty good that Hook remembered the pages after all this. 
  • Hysterical!Emma! is kind of one-note. 
  • All his magic, and Rumple’s still using a flip phone. 
  • Wow, this scene is really making me think Robin’s going to eat it. 
  • Good thing the boat that was such a hot commodity back when Emma and Rumple needed one, was apparently just lying around when Hook needed it. 
  • Hook is pretty good to Arthur for having been killed by him. 
  • Emma and Zelena, doing a dive to the bottom of the barrel today. 
  • Yep. 
  • The Miller’s Granddaughters. Single again. 
  • You can do whatever you want Arthur. It’s not going to make up for you having date-raped your wife for years. 
  • Wow, Zeus is a lot younger than I would have thought. 
  • Zeus escorted Hook a whole three steps. 
  • Freaking Merida couldn’t even find a black dress. 
  • You know Snow, I think people are going to keep dying. You may have another day like today. 
  • Well, it’s kind of your fault for running off half-cocked all the time, but not all the way. 
  • Snow loves you Emma, but not enough to leave you the umbrella.
  • I feel like maybe Emma would have initially suspected this was a trick or a hallucination or something.
  • I guess Rumple went out for coffee this episode after threatening to kill Belle’s dad. 
  • Are you kidding me?! They knew this thing was powerful enough to kill a god, and they didn’t look for pieces?
  • Actually, why did Hades kill Arthur in the first place? What did that do except help Hook?
  • I suspect we may have some more discussion about villains never getting their happy endings again.
  • Although, Cruella seems pretty happy now.
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Once Upon A Time, S5E09: “The Bear King”

Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Oh good.  Merida, the Princess of Questionable Judgement.
  • Man, going all the way to Scotland seems like we’re taking the long way around on this one.
  • Oh hey, it’s Queen Elinor, who looks nothing like any of her kids, and was once poisoned by her daughter to turn into a bear.
  • As soon as anyone gets a little bit of magic, they suddenly become Monty Hall.
  • Signing an IOU for something you don’t know in the future always goes well.
  • Turning into a bear also always goes well.
  • Why wouldn’t Elinor become queen?  Isn’t she already queen?
  • Wasn’t that the whole point of “Brave,” that everything was going to fall apart without Elinor ruling everyone?
  • Oh look.  Mulan.
  • Wasn’t Mulan hanging with Robin the last time we saw her?
  • Wow, that helm does not look like it fits Fergus.
  • Hey, that’s remarkable.  A scene with four characters, and I dislike all of them.
  • A happy ending of that scene would have been the Earth opening up and swallowing them all and we go back to Granny’s for burgers.
  • Do we even know if Fergus knew what the helm does?  It’s not like Merida knew her mom was going to turn into a bear.
  • Oh wow, Red’s back!
  • Hate it when people put you under their thrall.
  • Flashback to when there were more than 5 people living in Storybrooke!
  • The original Birds of Prey team!
  • Actually, are we sure the point of the helm wasn’t to kill Fergus by making Merida miss, so the clans would unite under Merida?
  • Arthur is such a heel.
  • Oh for God’s Sake.  Why does Arthur have to do anything?  Clearly, Zelina could just magic them and the helm away in an instant.
  • Wow.  This is the stupidest move ever.  Why would you let these guys go when they could just come back as soon as Zelina wakes up?
  • I feel like these louts wouldn’t go honorable so fast.
  • Before we get all warm and fuzzy about the witch, let’s not forget that the witch enslaved Red for years.
  • Don’t we think Elinor would have liked to see Fergus too?
  • No, you have something in your eye.

Once Upon A Time, S5E04: “The Broken Kingdom”

Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Emma’s apparently preparing for a Renaissance Fair.
  • Oh, Charming is such a boob, sometimes.
  • Ouch. Knife back to Snow.
  • Dances are nothing but trouble for everyone.
  • She seems kind of overly happy for flower petals.
  • I just don’t know what Guinevere expected, when she married a king.
  • Wow Charming, just spill all your guts.
  • Well sure, going down the black oil sewer seems like a great idea.
  • Oh ugh.
  • Apparently it’s “Throw Lancelot Under the Bus Day.”
  • Sometimes a wife has to go on the defensive.
  • I guess this is going to be one of those “Rashamon” deals?
  • Emma is just supposed to hang out in a stable? In that dress?
  • Yay Rumple! You have to think that he was the happiest Dark One of all.
  • Yeah, no touchee the dagger.
  • Oh, no, it’s going to be one of those “Arthur is a dick” deals.
  • I feel like maybe that doesn’t necessarily have to be the choice.
  • Oh, nice.
  • Nothing like getting dusted with Stepford Wife powder.
  • Ok that was good. I was fooled.
  • I apologize to Charming for thinking he was a total dupe.
  • Emma always looks so horrified at Rumple. I feel like maybe she should be more used to it by now.
  • Well that went well.
  • I don’t know that I would have just stood there while someone blew magic dust at me.  What if you blew it back?
  • That is some efficient dust, considering he used some to brainwash Guinevere and some to cover his entire Kingdom and still had leftovers.
  • I guess Merida did change her fate after all.
  • Gold’s being a little optimistic here.

Once Upon A Time, S5E03: “Siege Perilous”

Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Emma needed…an axe?
  • Pretty ominous when one of your team is a tree.
  • Charming is so elated to have a guy to hang with, who isn’t sleeping with his daughter.
  • I feel like trees shed bark and leaves and stuff pretty painlessly.  Why can’t we use those as samples?
  • Charming has no idea what’s going on.
  • Maybe because he’s a farmboy with probably no formal education and about a week’s worth of prince training?
  • I never get why we don’t ever address that.
  • The chance Charming is taking, is getting out of babysitting.
  • Oh WTH Grumpy.  Last week you were all “we need to go with you to help her!  We never get to show how much we care about everyone!”  Today it’s all “KILL THE BEAST!”
  • Maybe slow down on the promises if you don’t even know what the deal is, Charming.
  • Rumple is the only guy in this town that knows how to have fun.
  • I guess Happy’s not getting his axe back in one piece.
  • Not sure that was altogether comforting for Zelena.
  • It does seem as though Regina’s had quite a few second chances of her own.
  • Arthur just described his triangle with Lancelot and Guinevere as “a difficult situation.”
  • “Lancelot, he daid!”
  • Maybe you shouldn’t keep a lit flame in the chest with all your most precious stuff.
  • If I’m the Sheriff, my thinking runs towards fingerprints at this point.
  • Robin and Hook could actually be a hilarious duo.
  • How can Hook STILL have trouble with phones, when Robin can text photos and has been in Storybrooke a shorter amount of time?
  • Hook is so repulsed at this sonogram.
  • There are a lot of complex situations in this town.
  • I really love Emma’s new hair and wardrobe.
  • Evil is so much more stylish.
  • Why is it, everyone trying to look good gets sloppy hair?  It’s like once you turn evil, your concept of good is some hayseed.
  • Oh, it is peasant bro-hood!
  • Apparently Charming didn’t pay all that much attention to the Arthur legends.
  • Probably a bad competition, considering Guinevere is clearly EEEVVVIIIL.
  • That might be the fakest mushroom ever.
  • “Certain death!  You go first.”
  • That leather’s going to take some time to dry out.
  • Who’s going to pawn a bean?  Unless Belle’s a total moron, I think she’s going to be a little suspicious.
  • What a shocker, the Squire who was all suspicious-acting took a powder.
  • Ok, Doctoberfest is good.
  • Well it’s hardly fair jousting if one guy’s got a car.
  • Funny how the bridge can now hold like three guys, and Arthur isn’t making a move to help anything.
  • Arthur acts like he wasn’t watching the whole time.  What, did he have to go to the bathroom or something?
  • I don’t know if I’d do trust exercises with the Dark One.
  • Aw, she didn’t even get to eat lunch.
  • How could that mushroom get out of a locked pouch?  It’s not like the armored knights had time to pickpocket him.
  • But Charming, you are a FARMBOY.  You ARE only famous because you kissed a sleeping princess.
  • In some reality, there’s a little old lady shrieking “WHERE’S THE BEAN?!”
  • Arthur, you mushroom stealer.
  • Oh good, Charming.  Now you can be the guy who kissed a sleeping princess and found a mushroom under a tent.
  • How is he going to be a knight of the round table if he’s not planning to stay?
  • That is some fast trusting Arthur is doing.
  • Oh, it’s dead Lancelot!
  • I think Charming’s getting duped again.
  • Poor soon-to-be-dead Grif.
  • Don’t do it Grif!
  • It will be a cornerstone of an EEEVVVIILL kingdom, Grif!
  • Robin just sits around eating in Granny’s all day.
  • Oh, it is just bro-hood week all around.
  • Hey, remember when Belle said she never wanted to see Gold again, and took up macking on Scarlett?  It’s not like he ever did anything less evil to make her change her mind.
  • He’s the hero?  A town full of princes and knights and whatever, and she’s picking him?
  • The guy with the heart so full of evil, it actually tried to kill him by its own self?
  • Well I totally don’t get what the point of the whole Squire plot was.  Arthur wanted him to steal the stuff, but then got Charming to get it back.
  • Then he pretended like there was a bean to send them back, but then there never was a bean, and he doesn’t even want to get back.
  • For that matter, why did he tell Charming where the mushroom was in the first place, if he didn’t want him to have it?
  • I feel like maybe Guinevere might be the brains in this operation.