Tag Archives: Jordan Parrish

Teen Wolf, S6E7: “Heartless”

“…Because you loved him.”
Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.

Spoiler Thoughts:

  • Theo’s sister, showing the “Once Upon A Time” folks what it really looks like to rip out a heart.
  • This part was never all that clear to me:  So Theo killed his sister so…the Dread Doctors could give him her heart?  So he could become a chimera?
  • It always kind of seemed like this was Theo doing it the hard way.
  • Theo’s not having a great Groundhog Day.
  • “It’s ok.  You don’t have to stop.”  OH OK, *rip*.
  • Malia not so much for forgiveness.
  • Scott letting the babby take the wheel.
  • Meanwhile, the sheriff is doing a little home renovation.
  • Claudia showing a lack of nonplussedness at finding a hidden room in her own house.
  • Ugh.  If I was Theo, I’d rather go back to getting my heart ripped out than watch Liam and Hayden PDA.
  • What was that with his sister, anyway?  Was it Theo hallucinating while Malia beat him up?
  • Look, if you’re going to analyze each idea to see if it’s bad, Stiles would never get anything done.
  • Given that Peter has gotten better from worse burns than this, and actually from death, I’m not sure why he should be all that concerned.
  • Fun fact:  Just because a medication works topically, it doesn’t necessarily follow that it works injected into the heart.
  • Glad Peter not only recovered all his skin and hair, but also his stylish stubble.
  • I get the feeling Mrs. Martin still doesn’t get the whole “being a hero” thing.
  • Really?  They never tried closing the doors to the cage before starting this whole debacle?
  • Given that the Ghost Rider kind of clearly has his mouth sewn shut, I’m not sure chatting is on the menu.
  • Poor Parrish is never privy to any of the plans, but always gets called in at the last minute to burn his shirt off.
  • I also still don’t get why Lenore didn’t just move to a different town?
  • Like, if everyone in my neighborhood disappeared, I’d either move, or take over everyone’s property by squatter’s rights and be a millionaire.
  • Evil or not, Peter is always the only guy in Beacon Hills who ever looks like he’s having fun.
  • I like how after awhile, anyone can talk to the Ghost Rider and understand him.  Like Parrish was just the catalyst.
  • Parrish must have to buy shirts by the dozen.
  • Man, don’t you hate it when the Ghost Riders hypnotize your Hellhound?
  • Maybe they should try grabbing him around his pelvis, since apparently that part never catches fire?
  • Mr. Douglas came by, presumably to start singing “Tomorrow Belongs to Me.”
  • I feel like Malia didn’t have her plan all that well worked out.
  • Here’s a thought:  Why doesn’t Theo remake the barrier as soon as Douglas goes through, thereby trapping both of them in there?
  • Parrish going off for some alone time?
  • Wow, the Ghost Riders have an enormous pineal gland.  No wonder Douglas was so anxious to munch on one.
  • Peter finds himself small fry for once.
  • Meanwhile, Corey’s all “wonder where everyone else went to?”
  • Mr. Douglas wanted to disappear an invisible guy with a magical whip for a long time?
  • That was a very specific longing.
  • Mason never gets a break.
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Teen Wolf, S6E4: “Relics”

Spoiler Thoughts:

  • Argent not looking like he’s all that excited about Melissa’s backup.
  • “Some kind of help is the kind of help that helping’s all about/Some kind of help is the kind of help we can all do without.”
  • Wow, Melissa, I’m not so sure she’s gonna be ok.
  • Well, good thing you brought those bandages.
  • Malia, still making friends and influencing people.
  • Scott not so sure Corey’s gonna be all that much help.
  • I’m sad that Mrs. Stilinski is probably totes evil when she makes the Sheriff so happy.
  • I feel like they have so many to protect at this point, they don’t need to worry about someone who doesn’t want protection.
  • “Mason, with Stiles and Lydia not here, you’ll be playing the part of the brains tonight.”
  • Mrs. Martin has made a lifestyle out of trusting exactly the wrong people.
  • I see Mrs. Martin is adopting the Scully “I’ve-seen-that-everything-abnormal-is-true-yet-I-will-continue-to-deny-it-because-the-writers-believe-this-is-how-smart-women-behave” methodology.
  • If she just said Claudia was her BFF from high school, I’m doubting her unbiased perspective.
  • Jayden is the weakest link.
  • Actually, most of Beacon Hills’ lacrosse games end in a free-for-all, TBH.
  • Parrish to the rescue!
  • Parrish is like “I trained so hard as a deputy, and everyone only cares about the Hellhound.”
  • Those are some pretty effective disappearing bullets.
  • It seems counter-intuitive that they keep letting everyone else get taken, and only seem to care about protecting the one person who actually wants to get taken.
  • HIPPA hates Melissa.
  • Man, one of the only Asian guys in Beacon Hills, and Nathan has to be a dick.
  • Parrish is all wishing they would have told him in advance not to wear his good uniform.
  • Oh, thank God he had flame-retardant shorts on.
  • Well Argent, maybe you should have shot him.
  • Kind of a defeat for the good guys tonight.
  • One good thing for Liam, I guess.
  • Hey, that is pretty friendly that Argent and Ms. McCall are getting.
  • The Next Gen that would have been.
  • ROSCO.

Teen Wolf Season Finale, S5E20: “Apotheosis”

I see London, I see France…

Spoiler Thoughts:

  • See, I feel like I missed something here. When did we figure out the pike was the cane? How did Gerard get his mitts on it?
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I’m hammering out danger. I’m hammering out a warning.
  • Deaton is all “no Stiles. Being a vet doesn’t make me an expert on fetal cannibalism.”
  • Theo, this might not be a good time for this, given as how you’re exsanguinating.
  • Now, I’m not sure how Theo’s killing her here, because every other time we’ve seen this, someone’s jabbed their hand straight into the abdomen, which seems kind of effective.
  • Here, he’s just kind of…hugging her to death? Even though she’s clearly spiking him with paralytic toxin?
  • Well we’d feel worse about this, but Tracy was kind of a jerk anyway.
  • Deucalion is always thinking “amateur.”
How to Succeed in Werewolfing Without Really Trying
  • Sebastien picked up all Mason’s knowledge like a planarian.
  • Wow. Who would have thought that a still-alive evil force             would be a problem when it woke up? Besides everyone?
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The next American Idol.
  • Ok, I don’t even know how Sebastien could tell this was Marcel.  It looked like raw meat in a trench coat.
  • What was Marcel’s deal anyway? Sebastien didn’t seem all that into him.
  • Sometimes you should just Let It Go.
  • I feel like Malia wouldn’t just be cowering upstairs while Braeden plays Battleship with the Desert Wolf all by herself.
  • This whole “life is energy and can’t just be gone” theory seems a little less plausible when you consider…death?
  • Poor Lydia. She is getting all the crap this season.
  • Isn’t a nine millimeter pretty small? I might go with the musket.
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Sheriff, debating how much damage his pachinko-ball gun will do.
  • Clark, this is a bad time to get insubordinate.
  • RIP Mrs. McCall’s house.
  • We always hear of how good Talia Hale was. We also know how anybody (except Scott) becomes an alpha wolf, tho…
  • Theo, how are you ever going to get a pack when you keep trying to kill everyone even on speaking terms with you?
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Theo is beginning to look less trustworthy
  • Lydia has pretty much run through her medical deductible by now.
  • Argent, lowering the boom down on Emo!Parrish!
  • Ugh. We get to listen to Kira’s rambling voice mail twice.
  • Yeah, I’m not so sure this is exactly how cortisone works.
  • Plan A was Chipotle?
  • Man, no one’s healing powers are working worth a damn lately.
  • By this time, you’d think everyone would be wearing rubber soled shoes.
  • Stiles, son. What would make you think you should even say boo to the Desert Wolf?
  • Sebastien is having a hard time taking any werewolf in a hoodie seriously.
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Sebastien not a fan of today’s “Abercrombie & Fitch” werewolves.
  • He is not impressed with Theo’s power-taking abilities.
  • I KNEW we could trust Deucalion!
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I TRUST HIM
  • Ouch. Deucalion practices tough love.
  • Gerard, you rat-bastard!
  • Argent continues to not be anybody’s fool.
  • Word of advice: Don’t accept an invitation to the Argent’s family dinner.
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Shortly before they started singing “Cat’s Cradle.”
  • Again, I don’t feel like Malia would make such a poor showing here. She was pretty determined to kill her Mom before, and yet in this whole standoff, I’m not sure she gets one punch in.
  • Ouch. Clawed her right in the ovaries.
  • Unless that shard is way off in his shoulder, Stiles should probably be concerned about a punctured lung, I’m thinking.
  • Liam once again looks like he stopped off at the barber shop while he was prowling around the sewers.
  • How does that possibly belong to you, Sebastien? Your sister made it with her own blood. You just…leaned on it a little, once.
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Look, he just wants the pike his sister impaled him on so he can eat everyone with impunity. Is that so wrong?
  • Dude can wipe up the place with Scott and Liam, just from drinking out of a puddle.
  • God Damn it Corey, you are totally useless.
  • OH. SNAP. Theo just had the worst International Woman’s Day ever.
  • Glad it worked out a little better for Liam than it did for Derek.
  • Well TBH, Sheriff, Stiles probably had less to do in this story than in any other season.
  • The Skinwalkers are all “uhm…could you hurry this up a bit?”
  • Well I think it was nice to include Alison in this end montage, but it does kind of accentuate the notion that Kira is Scott’s Knives Chau and not Ramona Flowers.
  • Although this season has maybe some more inexplicable plot elements than a lot of the earlier years, I thought it was pretty good.
  • I like the atmosphere of Eichen House, although it’s hard to know by now why anyone would go there ever, when there is everything but bats hanging from the windows.
  • I think Parrish turned out to be a little of a red herring this season, since there really wasn’t some big cataclysmic battle between the Hellhound and the Beast.
  • Actually, most of the fights between them, the Beast came out looking kind of bored.
  • Kira was really the weakest link this season, and it’s probably a good idea that she goes away and gets some core competencies under her belt before she tries to be a part of the Scooby gang again.
  • Not a huge fan of Hayden as of yet, but she’s definitely improved from her start.  I guess we’ll see if she holds onto her undead-dark side.
  • Poor Theo.  Even though he was such a cool bad guy, if you think about it, virtually none of his schemes ever worked at all.
  • In large part, no doubt, due to Deucalion.  I refuse to believe a bullet could do more than slow him down, so I imagine we’ll be seeing him again someday.
  • Pretty meager storyline for Stiles overall, although maybe Dylan was busy with Scorch Trials, and they had to write around him.
  • Well, until next season, Teen Wolf.  Now back to pick up those earlier seasons I missed…

Teen Wolf, Season Five, Episode 19: “The Beast of Beacon Hills”

Screenshot (48)

Spoiler Thoughts:

  • Poor Mason. It’s not enough to be the Beast, but he has to wake up in a sewage tunnel too.
  • I feel like we saw Mason outside Eichen House trying to shut off the power while the Beast was inside, tho.
  • Is there some reason Gerard never told anyone he knows how to totally paralyze the Dread Doctors anytime he wants?
  • Why did Corey think it was a good idea to take Mason away from Scott and Liam in the first place? He can’t have really thought they were going to kill him.
  • Electro guy is not buying the mask job.
  • DEUCALION.
Screenshot (51)
I trust him.
  • He’s so smart.
  • Hm. Not sure why it looks like Gideon Emery has a droopy eyelid this episode.
  • Electro guy is not an idiot.
  • I feel your pain Parrish. I just got new tires too. Then the whole car broke down and had to be traded in…Wait, what were we doing again?
  • “I have the word ‘Hell’ in my name!  Hell!”
  • Scott has a lot on his plate. Most of it sucks.
  • Stiles finally gets to be funny again for the first time in like two years.
  • Liam is the worst in forests.
  • Scott’s healing powers not only fix his wounds, but they do dry cleaning as well.
  • Oh, I kind of think it was your fault, Corey.
  • Worst spinal tap ever.
  • I’m not so sure these are very good doctors.
  • Theo’s team building skills are taking a pounding here.
  • Now you know Theo is evil, because Gideon Emery’s voice isn’t going to get on anyone’s nerves.
  • Oh God, Kira should not be this dumb.
  • Yeah that’s right Theo. Taste of a real Alpha.
  • If I was Electro guy, I’d have been inching towards the door from the time Deucalion stood up.
  • If I was Tracy, I’d be thinking “either he puts on the mask and gets what he wants and we go hunt the beast, or the mask kills him and I don’t have to worry about him coming for me next.”
  • This Nemeton brought to you by Toyota Corolla.
  • Yeah, this doesn’t seem like a bright alliance.
  • I think it’s pretty obvious that Tracy does not want the same thing.
  • I don’t even know why Scott needed those guys. They didn’t even know it was Mason in the first place.
  • Sad that Derek isn’t here. Don’t you think someone would have asked Braeden about him by now?
  • The story of this season, is Scott’s BFFs telling not to trust Theo, and Scott doing it anyway.
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Would you buy a used car from this man?
  • Ugh. Kira. How does she possibly think she’s going to drive off and accomplish whatever and get back before everything’s over?
  • What if they just cut the tubing and ran for it with the thing still in his neck?
  • Argent, do you honestly think Gerard is not majorly playing you?
  • The only good thing is that as soon as Deucalion sees Gerard, he may forget about Scott altogether.
  • Dread Doctors laying down the sick burn on Theo.
Screenshot (54)
Rude.
  • Maybe punching a steel mask isn’t the best strategy, Theo.
  • I like how Posey and Sprayberry must have had specific limits to how many times they put on the wolf makeup written into their contracts, because Theo is the only one doing any wolfing here.
  • Ok if you had done that like 15 minutes ago, Mason, you’d all be out of there by now.
  • Braeden is too smart for this town.
  • Mrs. McCall is going to wish Scott had gotten that scholarship when she gets the repair bills after this.
  • Uhm…any reason why Braeden didn’t just unload both barrels of her never-depleted shotgun into her at that point?
  • Ok, Scott and Liam have just spent about a day’s worth of shooting, sitting by this cabinet flinching a lot.
Beast can literally not believe the naked flaming guy jumping at him.
  • This dude died, then was brought back by unholy means, but at least it gave him a nice haircut.
  • How could this guy possibly know Gerard’s last name? Does he have Mason’s memories?

 

Teen Wolf, Season Five, Episode 17: “A Credible Threat”

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Reason #32 on Why Taking The Bus Sucks.

Spoiler Thoughts:

    • Sleepover at Parrish’s!
    • Argent is always the guy you call when you’re looking for someone totally ok with shooting you.
    • Parrish is moving too fast? Or you’re moving at the speed of Scott’s SAT prep, Argent?
    • Why were all these kids on the bus in the middle of the night?
    • Where does everyone get their mountain ash? It’s like WalMart sells jars of it.
    • Oh hrm.
    • Well I guess it was all above-board if she left her knee socks on.
    • Invisible Guy is ready to get the Hell out of Dodge.
    • Good thing Invisible Guy didn’t get any scars on the moneymaker.
    • Lydia, Beacon Hills has never ever had a regular lacrosse game.
    • Parrish, this is maybe one of the few instances where the library is not that much help to you.
    • COACH.
Screenshot (35)
A person locked away from the murderous supernatural in Beacon Hills is a happy person.
      • This is how people survive in Beacon Hills.
      • Oh WTH Argent. Why are you going to stick poor Parrish in a transmogrifier?
      • I dunno guys. The Beast doesn’t look a whole lot like a werewolf. I think that’s why we’re not calling it “The Werewolf.”
      • Parrish still hasn’t learned not to ask for rational explanations of the irrational.
      • Can’t anyone give poor Parrish a washcloth or something at least, before they lock him in the fridge?
      • Ugh, Kira. So awk.
      • Admit it. You never thought Coach would forfeit the game either.
      • They would have had a better chance taking the replacement coach over to the Argents’ and have him/her watch Parrish freeze in the basement.
      • What makes us think a normal person wouldn’t see blood on their shoes and clean it off? 
      • …What?
      • Nooo, Parrish!
      • Dammit Kira.
      • Of course, if Kira had any control over her powers, she would have been a good person to put on electrical short-out duty, but no.
      • I’m not so sure Kira should totally be dissing this girl’s accent.
      • I feel like maybe this wasn’t the right tact for this girl to take, if she was trying to make Kira less aggressive.
      • Stiles must be the only non-supernatural lacrosse player in Beacon Hills.
      • I’m guessing Desert Wolf isn’t really into charity games.
      • Oh man, they just put Stiles in a Xander shot.
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Come on, Stiles hasn’t been this derpy for ages.
    • Liam, I feel this is an ill-considered move.
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Don’t leave me hangin’, bro!
  • “What is that?”   Kira, have you even been paying attention in the pack meetings?

Teen Wolf, Season Five, Episode 16: “Lie Ability”

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Why fight matches usually have weight divisions.

Spoiler Thoughts:

    • If the best encouragement Theo could give me to attack someone was “you’ll heal,” I might start thinking he didn’t have my best interests at heart.
    • Parrish seems like he’s going pretty easy on people trying to poison and electrocute him.
    • What in God’s Name did the guy whose superpower is changing colors think he was going to do against a Hellhound?
    • So you kind of tapped the guy trying to electrocute you against the wall, but fried the guy who was holding your wrist?  Harsh, Parrish.
    • Man, Mason may need a new date for the prom.
    • Theo, if you want to recruit people for your pack, maybe perforating them with a steel bar isn’t the best opener.
    • Err…what?
    • Man, her hair is pretty curly still, for all that writhing around.
    • DEUCALION
Screenshot (30)
I trust him.
    • Deucalion, giving out fatherly advice. He’s such a giver.
    • Scott isn’t the best spy.
    • Huh, I totally thought Meredith was dead by now.
    • Scorpion girl is pretty psycho.
    • You would think Kira would have read up on electricity after she discovered she was electricity.
    • All this whining and self-doubt isn’t really getting the job done, Kira.
    • It’s a measure of how messed up Teen Wolf usually is, that it never occurred to me how weird this scene where they just casually stroll through the room of cringing naked guys was until way afterwards.
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In Beacon Hills, we call this “Tuesday.”
    • Maybe Meredith was just trying to say your skin was soft, Scott.  No need to immediately start thinking everyone wants to get stabbed in the back of the neck.
    • Liam seems to be sweating it a little here.
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It’s ok Liam. Just use all that energy you had when you TRIED TO KILL SCOTT.
    • Parrish seems like he’s probably a little occupied right now, with the impalement and all.
    • Poor paralyzed Deucalion.  I trust him.
    • Theo, you have a better chance at Brother of the Year award than of ever getting Stiles to trust you.
    • Killing your sister =/= believing in Santa on the naïveté scale.
    • Valach could have at least put on Sinatra or something.
    • Poor Parrish is constantly waking up completely confused and horrified. And probably chilly.
    • Malia and Electroguy having the worst trust exercise ever.
    • Stiles and Theo are the Mulder/Krycek equivalent.
    • Theo:  King of the Unconvincing Rationalization
    • Lydia would probably be more sympathetic to Valach’s sad history if he hadn’t just drilled a hole into her head.
    • Lydia is horrified at having to wear that ugly hat.
    • Posey makes the worst face here. Like he’s had experience lighting aerosol cans before and none of it was good.
    • Mason is my spirit animal.
    • Oh wow, that is why I don’t like loud noises.
Screenshot (33)
Itai
  • Dylan, keeping in shape for Maze Runner 3.
  • Theo is always the bridesmaid, never the bride.
  • Mason is all of us.
  • So unpleasant, Hayden.  Don’t you be mean to Mason.
  • Parrish burnt through the Mountain Ash?
  • Isn’t the point of ash, it’s what doesn’t get burnt up?
  • Wow, Parrish totally did the Charles Atlas “go away little man” maneuver on Stiles.
  • Holy…
  • Well to be fair, Mrs. Martin, you did put her into that Hellhole.
  • This is really taking a toll on that poor jeep.
  • Scott’s all “worst backseat passengers ever.”
  • Deaton, man, you knew they were coming–why for did you not have that stuff drawn up already?
  • Deaton, man, you know how to check if something’s alive or dead. Why for are you making Stiles go through this?
  • Well to be fair, the other guys did help a little.
  • But maybe Lydia’s Mom will get off Stiles’ back now.
  • Coach!  Coach is coming back!

Teen Wolf, Season Five, Episode Fifteen: “Amplification”

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Do you know the way to San Jose?

Spoiler Thoughts:

    • I’m glad they all let Lydia just hang out all safe and all in Arkam Asylum all this time.
    • If I was even remotely close to critical, I’d have a living will made out demanding I be taken to Hill Valley Hospital.
    • “Put my body out on the street before you take me to Beacon Memorial.”
    • I feel like Melissa has enough experience by now to not hang around when a creepy elevator gets to her floor.
    • Somebody take up a collection and buy poor Parrish a shirt.
    • I’m not so sure I think drilling a hole in someone’s head is going to release anything but cerebrospinal fluid.
    • If you are in this pack, and you are still questioning Stiles’ plans like they have a chance of success, you might have already got a hole drilled into your head.
    • Well I guess we’d feel worse for that orderly, but she was kind of a bitch to Lydia, so…good luck.
    • Liam, surprised that Scott’s Mom is still mad at him for almost killing him.
    • I wish Kira wasn’t always the weak link.
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You gotta win one for the Asians, Kira.
    • No one thinks she can do this Scott. Her results are not confidence-inspiring.
    • Why don’t they just knock this dude out and take his keycard?
    • Who’d notice outside? It’s not like Eichen House spends on outside lighting.
    • This Eichen House guard is the only person in Beacon Hills trying to do his job right.
    • Poor naked Nelson.
    • Poor naked electrified Nelson.
    • Did Kira and Malia really think short shorts were the best break-in outfits?
    • Maybe they would have had a better chance of blending if they stole some scrubs too.
    • OH MY GOD, DID THAT GUY JUST SAY DR. FENRIS
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FENRIS
    • WITH GIDEON EMERY BACK AS DEUCALION
    • Dead.
    • Wow, Kira is producing sub-optimal results with this standing-and-doing-nothing method.
    • Deucalion! So good.
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I am badder than thou.
  • I’m not sure they have time for a brawl at this point.
  • This would have been a more suspenseful episode if we didn’t already know Theo and his gang end up walking out with Lydia.
  • Mrs. Martin should probably go home.
  • Everyone seems a little more surprised at the naked man on fire than you’d think, considering they were expecting him.
  • These fights are always the ones where I wonder why everyone suddenly forgot they could change into super powerful creatures.
  • I guess Mountain Ash, but they did just break apart a steel door.
  • This wasn’t enough to make Liam angry?
  • Can’t help thinking Posey just got tired of putting on the makeup. Now, a werewolf transformation consists of contacts and a couple of dental caps.