Tag Archives: Evil Queen

Once Upon A Time, S6E14: “Page 23”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • I guess this was when Regina still took her Dad places.
  • Parilla sounds a little under the weather on this one.
  • I find it hard to believe that Regina can’t just magick a hole instead of making Robin dig with a shovel.
  • Oh, Robin and I think alike.
  • The return of the magical scissors.
  • Wait, what?
  • I thought Liam and the others went on to the Great Beyond along with Cora and Regina’s Dad?
  • Henry has had a lot of Mom issues with Regina.
  • I like Snow’s hair a little longer, I think.
  • Regina’s Dad was trying to fix her up?
  • Well that was the shortest engagement in history.
  • When did Hook learn enough magic to operate the dream catchers anyway?
  • I guess Emma forgot about all that part where we scientifically proved it was True Love because she was willing to risk burning to death for him.
  • Well no one could have possibly predicted that poignant archery-related outcome.
  • OMG finally!  Regina figures out what Kirk did in less than an hour in “Enemy Within.”
  • And it only took her like half of a season.
  • But on the other hand, Regina, if you had walked through that door and gotten together with Robin, roughly a jillion people who you subsequently killed would be alive today, so I kind of think it would have been a reasonable trade-off.
  • Snow is tired of trying to redeem people.
  • Henry writes in a nice font.
  • FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVER
  • I think it’s a bad sign when you have to distinguish realities by referring to one as “The Realm The Evil Queen Created With A Wish.”
  • And the two essentially black-hearted villains lived happily ever after in The Realm The Evil Queen Created With A Wish.
  • [Cue music]
  • Oh wait, we haven’t finished flogging Killian yet.
  • Emma looks so surprised that he’s not at home.  Like he would stick around after she gave him his ring back?
  • Gideon not a fan of reconciliations.

Once Upon A Time, S6E11: “Tougher Than The Rest”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Man, Henry is not a good tracker.
  • It’s hard to understand how Charming could feel that the appearance of the hooded dude whose coming has been foretold for the last year in Emma’s dreams is all because of his lame wish.
  • Well I guess the Black Fairy raised at least one kid.
  • Ok, I think young RumpleBelleSpawn may be confused as to how heroism works.
  • It’s not like you pass down being a hero by killing and eating the last one.
  • Maybe “Her Handsome Hero” was kind of a crappy book.
  • I like how Rumple doesn’t try to tell him how insane this is, but just starts trying to advise him on the technical difficulty.
  • Oh it’s Pinocchio!
  • Lying, thieving, ratfink Pinocchio!
  • Are you kidding me?!  Regina wrote that whole page-full of note in the five seconds it took Pinocchio to tell Emma about the Enchanted Grove?
  • I guess we know from whom Henry got his writing talent.
  • Regina, how well did you really think this would work?
  • Shouldn’t Robin be married, with a kid at this point?
  • It is amazing to me, how willing Storybrooke people are to just stand there while someone ties a bracelet on them.
  • Tip from me to you:  If someone who hates you starts putting something on your wrist without asking, you should probably shake it off first, and ask questions later.
  • Colin O’Donoghue, come to do his specialty number for the season.
  • Actually, can’t the Jolly Roger travel between worlds?
  • I guess the theme of tonight’s episode is sons and their father-induced angst.
  • Ok, I’m not sure how Robin’s timeline is working here.  How did Marian die before they got married, when Regina was supposed to kill her long after that?
  • Oh, Belle didn’t make it in this world.  So, already an improvement.
  • LOL that Charming thinks the best plan of action is to just never wake Snow up again.
  • For that matter, that means he can’t sleep either, which should do wonders to his already-tenuous state of mind.
  • Belle, walking in and basically asking Hook and Charming to let her son kill Emma.
  • “Can you trust me?”  Well, since you’ve already said that you’re ok with Rumple going off to find your son and help him kill Emma, I’m going to go with “no.”
  • Robin’s all “I’ll believe whatever you want.  We’re going to die in a couple minutes anyway.”
  • Robin, if you can pick any lock, why don’t you open up Regina’s cuff?
  • Look, Pinocchio was creeping on Emma even as a teen.
  • Emma, remember the last time you brought someone back?  And it was Marian, which was a disaster?  And then it turned out to be Zelina which was even more of a disaster?
  • Meanwhile, Pinocchio is all “um, could you guys get out before Rumple or Henry comes and kills me as an accessory?”
  • Good thing the tree Emma came from was a little better crafted, so it didn’t explode out babies.
  • I feel like this isn’t the fight in her vision, unless she all of a sudden takes off her jacket to reveal that she put on a tank top to go out in the cold rain that morning.
  • Hook is all “I don’t know what you’re talking about, and I had very little to do this season.”
  • Glad you kept tabs on Emma while she was out on the streets, Pinocchio.  I guess your interest didn’t actually extend to taking her in off the streets.
  • I still always think Pinocchio got off way too easy, for having actively ruined Emma’s life for the first 28 years.
  • If Belle ends up macking on Rumple at the end of this scene, after everything that has transpired, I don’t know what to say.
  • Rumple’s rationales for all the weird crap he’s tried to do this whole season don’t make any more sense in retrospect.
  • Gideon hates libraries.

Once Upon A Time, S6E10: “Wish You Were Here”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • I see we haven’t learned the whole lesson of having to accept all parts of yourself yet.
  • Not a huge fan of Regina’s new haircut.  She always looks fabulous as the Evil Queen, tho.
  • Hey, good thing Aladdin took the leap and became the genie and Jasmine just sat around and never even made her wish.
  • Lol that the Charmings had a portrait made of Neal.
  • Nice that Team Hero is as good at working together as they ever were.
  • “Ew.”
  • Well, TBF, the Evil Queen probably couldn’t have accomplished half as much without the help of Jasmine.
  • Really Regina?  That’s your wish?  You didn’t want to wish that, say, you had never split off the Evil Queen in the first place?
  • Because I feel like that would have solved a bunch of problems.
  • Also, maybe would have thrown in a 3rd wish, that Aladdin was free, and then the season would have been over?
  • Here’s a thought Regina:  Maybe now is a good time to use those shape-shifting powers.
  • Emma, doing the full-on Briar Rose routine.
  • Nice to know that in any reality, Charming never gets to land a blow on Regina.
  • “I can’t bear to think what she’s doing to Aladdin.”  Way to get your head in the game, Jasmine.
  • Now Hook, I’m not saying you shouldn’t have faith in Charming’s plan.  I’m just saying that never, in the course of history, has any of Charming’s plans worked.
  • Wow, Carlyle’s had to get the makeup on more times in the last couple episodes than in the last couple seasons.
  • Regina, allying with Rumple is maybe not the best way to win Emma’s confidence.
  • “Be evil!  Have fun storming the castle!”
  • I guess I would have just assumed that Blue took Gideon somewhere into a different realm.  How could he be safe anywhere on Earth where Rumple could get at him?
  • Lol at the guards slamming the doors shut, not bothering to notice Regina standing right there.
  • First episode call back!
  • Regina cannot believe Emma is this useless.
  • Maybe this is the episode where we learn our lesson about good and evil both being necessary?
  • What does that even mean, Charming?
  • Wow, it’s amazing that he managed to make a worse wish than Regina.
  • Regina, I feel like this plan was maybe not that well thought out.
  • Savior-killing cloak guy arrives!
  • Goodbye, relatively ineffectual Jasmine and Aladdin.
  • GDI Belle, if you go back to Rumple now…
  • Man, it is hard to think of a bigger flail of an ending than that.

Once Upon A Time, S6E9: “Changelings”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Alright, back to playing catch up with Storybrooke.
  • Actually, did we ever actually see Rumple taking a kid?  He totally failed with Cora.
  • I guess maybe Charming and his bro, but TBF, their Mom wasn’t all that good at staying attached.
  • Oh man, one Asian girl in the whole town, and he poofed her away.
  • Maybe that fairy should, I don’t know, make an attempt to get away?
  • The idea that either Rumple or the Evil Queen would ever trust each other is laughable.
  • Belle.  Constantly in distress.
  • I feel like a magical book that appears and tells you exactly what you’re looking for is mildly suspect.
  • I guess the non-fiction section is in a cave?
  • …And on the other hand, I’m not sure I’d believe any rando that shows up in my dreams and tells me he’s my son, either.
  • Jasmine, you haven’t been in Storybrooke for very long, so let me give you a heads-up:  Snow doesn’t always give the best advice.
  • Zelina, once again finding out what happens when you back the wrong horse.
  • You were already going to kill Hook, Rumple.  I’m not sure threatening him now is likely to be more effective.
  • Rumple, always two steps in front of everyone, throughout time.
  • The only one who could ever really defeat Rumple, is Rumple.
  • Didn’t we play out the crazy love-starved parent story with Zelina already?
  • It seems weird that Regina is so hung up on Zelina’s part in Robin’s death now.  Did I forget or didn’t they become best buds after that?
  • If Jasmine can just free Aladdin with a wish, it doesn’t seem like becoming a genie is such a big commitment.
  • “My magic can’t save him.”  Uhm…why, exactly?
  • Granny got screen time again!
  • Oh, maybe it wasn’t Granny.
  • Glad that Rumple couldn’t have done this Black Fairy deal at all without Belle’s meddling.  She really is the weakest link.
  • There ought to be a lucrative secondary market for squid ink.
  • OH SNAP.
  • Belle gets to find her own way back home.
  • Huh.  I always thought Rumple hated fairies because Blue wouldn’t help him get Neal back.
  • Why doesn’t Belle ask to go with her baby?  At least Snow had a reason.
  • This kind of feels like they needed to get rid of a baby but keep a regular character.
  • “I would never hurt you Belle.”  I kind of feel like you might have, Rumple.
  • Parilla and Carlyle are never better when they’re being opposing evils.
  • Emma, it’s a nice sentiment, but you really didn’t accomplish anything today.

Once Upon A Time, S6E8: “I’ll Be Your Mirror”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Ok, back after a couple weeks off. I see we are still in Ladyhawke mode. 
  • Had we established Regina had powers over all mirrors?  That seems like it would have come in handy for her in the past. 
  • Actually, this might be the best Snow and Charming’s relationship has ever been. 
  • Henry and Violet are so undramatic for such a constantly tumultuous romance. 
  • Man, Regina really isn’t firing on all cylinders lately. 
  • I feel as though Henry and Co. might have come up with tells for each other by now, in case of shape shifters. 
  • Oh man, Belle. Why in God’s Name would you think Zelina gives a rat’s ass about you or your baby?
  • Too bad the Will Scarlett dude from Wonderland’s contract apparently ran out, since he used to be the best thief in town. 
  • Belle now turning to full-out villain, as she guilt-trips some guy she doesn’t even know into sacrificing himself for her and her baby. 
  • The real person responsible for her sitch is, of course BELLE, and her chronically bad decision-making process. 
  • Still don’t get why Gold is so quick to get into bed, figuratively and literally, with the Evil Queen, when it seems clear it would serve him better with Belle to side against her. Isn’t she his whole purpose now?
  • Why does Evil Queen keep looking like she’s tearing up every time she talks to Henry?  Surely she can’t be capable of good impulses, the way Regina is capable of bad? 
  • I thought she was just the evil bits, not a fully developed person. 
  • Oh, oops. No one forgets a slouching nag. 
  • Shouldn’t Belle have a key to the shop by now?
  • I see Henry has the same success rate as his moms. 
  • I think they have had better dragons before. 
  • Did Emma just try stopping this dragon by throwing a rock at it while it flew by?
  • Ok, I thought they had a plan of some sort. Why did they start screaming for Henry to help them?
  • Henry:  Still the smartest guy in the room. 
  • Good thing Hook has so much practice shaking off concussions by now. 
  • Uhm, did we forget about the Dragon, who’s still stuck back there in the mirror?
  • Without his heart?
  • Jasmine might feel better about herself if she’d seen Belle try to talk Gold out of helping Emma get Hook back from the Underworld. 
  • Belle, don’t you think struggling before he slapped the cuff on you would have been more useful?
  • This must be the easiest week of work ever for Goodwin and Dallas. They basically just smooch and nap for the whole thing. 
  • Henry, you are so worth a better storyline than this cringeworthy teen romance. 
  • Oh ew
  • I guess Evil Queen and Gold were plotting something, but I was too busy pouring bleach in my eyes after they licked each other’s open mouth. 
  • Although, still less ew than Gold and Belle. 

Once Upon A Time, S6E7: “Heartless”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Oh no!  Snow got transported to the title card!
  • Ok, if you tell her what the potion is and what you’re going to do with it, it might not be that hard for Regina to figure out. 
  • Zelina’s probably going to betray the Evil Queen because she won’t help her take care of the baby. 
  • Oh what the what? Flashback!Charming! conveniently forgot his terrible farmer haircut. 
  • The best Blue can do for self defense is getting big and grabbing an axe?
  • Charming’s Mom is the worst. 
  • Your reminder that Charming’s Mom was such a bad farmer, she sold BOTH her kids and still couldn’t make a go of it.
  • If Belle still tries to make things work with Gold after this, she is the biggest simp ever. 
  • Snow, that sounds an awful lot like giving up. 
  • Charming, thy name is credulous. 
  • How does Blue think the fairies can protect Snow when she could barely protect herself from getting an axe between the wings just now?
  • Everyone looking at Regina like ALL THE EW. 
  • Oh, EW. 
  • You know it’s bad when you grossed out Zelina. 
  • Man, people should not drink just anything anyone puts in your hand. 
  • Charming’s dog is evil!
  • It’s also where Snow went to meet Charming and he dumped her for his wife, but who’s counting. 
  • Are Emma and Hook not in a hurry?  It’s going to be pretty bad if the Queen gets there with the Adder’s Tongue and whatever. 
  • Well that went well. 
  • It’s always been puzzling how Regina seems omnipotent when she’s evil, but kinda limited as a goodie. 
  • I don’t get why Belle doesn’t just tell Gold she’ll abort if he doesn’t help Snow and Charming. 
  • Why doesn’t Regina just put the protection spell on everyone?
  • Man, I really thought those guys were going to have a plan besides death when they marched over to the Queen. 
  • Glad no one in the town was particularly disturbed that Snow and Charming were going to die for them, when they could have easily removed the need by evacuating. 
  • I’m sure Belle forbidding anything means boo to Gold. 
  • Oh, we went full Ladyhawke. 

Once Upon A Time, S6E6: “Dark Waters”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • That’s right Killian. No one will ever look for tools in a toolbox in a tool shed. 
  • Zelina lost her babysitter. Sad!
  • Oh honey, let him go. He’s just not that into Agrabah. 
  • What is Emma, the Town Lost and Found?  I think Jasmine can handle looking down the street for Aladdin on her own. 
  • No wonder the saviors get used up so fast. 
  • I’m not sure pirates historically had a huge grapefruit-based diet. 
  • Parilla is loving this season. 
  • Killian’s master secateur plan lasted all of about five minutes. 
  • I’ve seen Nemo, sir, and you are no James Mason. 
  • I really thought he was going to say “purpose,” instead of “family.”
  • I have still never bought the idea that Hook was so attached to Mila that he took on this life-long vendetta against Rumple for her. 
  • I tend to think his hand was kind of a bigger loss. And his pride. 
  • I guess Henry hasn’t been caught up on his Walt Disney Studio Live Action film catalog. 
  • Ugh. Belle is such a sap. 
  • Henry seems a little too bright to be so totally swayed by the Evil Queen so fast. 
  • I like how Nemo doesn’t pay attention to the huge monster or the flailing and screaming until someone actually says “Nemo.”
  • He’s mastered the art of selective attention. 
  • Carlyle and Parilla’s scenes are always my favorites. Such good takes on the different aspects of menace. 
  • Emma’s kind of fond of parking on the wrong side of the road. 
  • Maybe the ultimate problem with the savior, is that they inhibit people from saving themselves. 
  • Henry’s getting pretty big to still be playing the kid card. 
  • Well that could have gone better. 
  • The Jones family has kind of a genetic predisposition towards regret killings. 
  • So if Agrabah is gone, why’s Jasmine so anxious to find Aladddin anyway?
  • Remember last week when Snow decided she really wanted to be a teacher?  And before that, when she decided that she really didn’t want to be Mary Margaret anymore?
  • Now with the hospital volunteer work, it’s like she’s basically regressed back to Mary Margaret at her most passive. 
  • All she needs is to sleep with Dr. Whale again to finish it off. 
  • Belle’s plot of ludicrous indecision is so non-compelling. 
  • I really don’t get the relative timelines of the Untold Stories. 
  • Good thing Emma and Hook have a relationship based on mutual distrust. 
  • Didn’t Rumple just say his most important lesson was “don’t take what’s mine?”
  • I don’t know how good a student Regina was. 
  • Belle continues her role as the Town Dupe. 
  • Every time actors have a scene where they have to be that close together, my flesh crawls. Personal bubble!

Once Upon A Time, S6E3: “The Other Shoe”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Oh, back to Hyde for advice again. Always a good idea. 
  • Cinderella’s little girl is all “…stranger danger?”
  • Ok, Cinderella asking if she could go to the ball at this exact moment shows a considerable lack of situational insight. 
  • Poor Archie. Nothing like patients just showing up without an appointment, expecting to be seen immediately. 
  • Grumpy, still getting the short end of the stick. 
  • Well as long as Emma’s giving up without a fight. 
  • I feel after all the experience Emma’s had with magic and curses and the Dark Ones, she should be a little more skeptical about this whole destiny thing. 
  • If there’s one thing Charming’s learned, it’s not to argue with Snow.
  • Didn’t we just go through a whole thing where Snow decided she didn’t want to be Mary Margaret?
  • I guess it would be confusing if every Prince was designated Charming. 
  • Man, if people actually waited to discuss anything with anyone, there would be like two fairy tales. 
  • Charming must be the worst poker player ever. 
  • Is Cinderella marching off with a rifle to protect her stepsister against…herself?
  • How did her stepsister know about the magic cupboard?
  • I am confused. 
  • If Emma doesn’t tell Hook about this whole destiny thing now, it is just too much. 
  • Oh Evil Queen. Still usually the smartest person in the room. 
  • At least we admit that no one can remember what the names of the stepsisters are. 
  • Cinderella unfortunately not a genius. 
  • Well, on the upside, Cinderella now has way more in common with Snow White than she ever knew. 
  • Snow tracked her!  Because the prince was pretty ineffectual. 
  • Wow, this dude doesn’t need much to make a decision, considering he had one dance with her. 
  • Why would Cinderella not bring the prince with her?
  • You would think she could have got there faster on horseback or in his carriage.
  • Actually, I don’t know what she thought telling her step-sister/mother about her engagement was supposed to accomplish if it wasn’t rubbing their noses in it.
  • That was not very far off the board the Evil Queen took them, considering there’s that one magical forest that just goes on forever.
  • Ok, that was not actually a very crucial spot she stabbed her, with her fairly short sword tip. 
  • I feel like she might not have died if we used regular ol’ non-magical conventional health care. 
  • Regina’s all “are you kidding me, with your public school talk right now?”
  • You are so not gonna burn that, Charming.
  • Aww. Rumple made Belle a mix tape.
  • Hard to know why they didn’t assume this was going to happen. 
  • This hospital has the worst security ever.

Once Upon A Time, S6E2: “A Bitter Draught”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Central casting dines at Granny’s. 
  • Pretty sure that wasn’t actually what happened to Dantes’ fiancée. My recollection is that she wound up marrying the guy who got wealthy orchestrating his imprisonment. 
  • Look, love is love is love, but God Bless the Child That’s Got His Own.
  • Oh THANKS, Regina. 
  • The Good makeup is always so washed out compared to the Evil makeup. 
  • Emma, still making the good choices. 
  • Why would she think a psychologist would be able to help her plan a military campaign?
  • Poor Archie. Good thing he can still bill for the visit. 
  • I am skeptical that it is as hard to call off assassins as it always seems in stories. 
  • I bet they’re like any other tradesman. “Yeah, they said they didn’t need me for the job today, so I figured I’d sleep in and maybe go to the movies later “
  • Snow and Charming’s family motto:  Always Credulous. 
  • I don’t offhand remember when Hook “laid hands” on Belle. 
  • I guess he knocked her out once?  But then again, so did Merida, and we didn’t seem to care about that.
  • Frankly, I would take the crappy mattresses at Granny’s over a ship with no discernible bathroom. 
  • Belle is always apologizing for being Rumple’s accessory, and yet I don’t think anyone has any doubt that she’s going to end up going back to him.
  • Rumple is always consistent.  I do always think he should maybe have a little more interest in Henry as his grandson, but I guess he’s decided that he’s never gonna get on that family Xmas Card list.
  • I don’t offhand remember Rumple and the Evil Queen being quite this much into each other.
  • I bet the handmaid turns out to be Dantes’ daughter or something. 
  • Then he finds out and goes all Sweeney Todd on Evil Queen. 
  • Ok, these guys KNEW this dude was coming for them, and as sheriff, Charming can legally pack heat.  Why fore are they running around totally unarmed?
  • Charming, totally nonplussed by any terrible thing by now.  “The Evil Queen’s back?!”  “Yeah, w/e.”
  • Kind of weird that Regina suddenly decided to take up swordplay, when she can magic anyone into the cornfields at any time.
  • Wow.  I really thought the Count was going to have a bigger part than that.
  • Did we ever figure out how he managed to disappear into thin air periodically?  In the book, he wasn’t magical.
  • Ok, if Regina literally split off all her evilness, then why did her evil bits just tell her she still has evil in her?
  • That was some crappy splitting spell.  She should get her money back.
  • Zelena, joining Emma in the “keep making the worst choices ever” club.

Once Upon A Time, S5E22: Season Finale: “Only You” and “Untold Story”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
Only You
  • I always like how you can instantly tell how good/evil anyone is, by how dark their makeup is. 
  • Also, Regina’s hair is always so much better when she goes evil. 
  • Glad Rumple just carts Belle around inside that little box all the time, like she’s jewelry.
  • Nice going Killian.
  • Well Emma does seem a little forgetful about how she felt when she went all psycho about Hook and everyone told her to go take a nap.
  • Oh come on Henry.  Are you joining up with the Peter Pan coalition now?
  • Yeah, that’s not creepy at all, asking some girl that you barely know to run away with you for who knows how long.
  • Ok Henry, how come you don’t just write out “all the magic’s gone” or “the crystal is destroyed?”
  • Oh hi Rumple.
  • It’s hard to think that the whole town would disintegrate without magic, when the town actually was totally without magic for a couple of minutes first season after Emma broke the spell and before Rumple brought magic back.
  • Ugh, Merida is the worst.
  • Remember when no one could make a portal because all the beans were gone?  Now it’s like portals everywhere.
  • Pretty sure that’s not covered under AppleCare.
  • Also hilarious that with all her power, Regina still has a flip phone.
  • If you were Violet, would you really run off to a different part of the country with some strange guy without even taking a pair of pants?
  • I’m guessing that arrow feather is going to be a big deal next season.
  • Maybe everyone should stand back?
  • Granny’s all “thanks for leaving me with the baby.”
  • Who still keeps maps in their car?!
  • Although, I guess if you’re still rocking the flip phone, you’re not going to to be asking Siri for directions.
  • A little worrisome that Regina routinely travels around with a 4-inch needle  on her.
  • Realistically, who hasn’t ever wanted to do that to a parking guy?
  • Do we really think Neal genuinely wanted to do away with magic?  Or was that the influence of that girl who was pretending to be his fiancée who was working for Peter Pan to do away with magic for…reasons?
  • Don’t taze me, bro.
  • Emperor Palpatine in his earlier days.
  • From when she was little to now, Snow will just spill everything to anyone.
  • Snow would make the worst spy.
  • You would think Hook could start stabbing at this dude’s hand with his hook.
  • “You’re just saying that because you feel bad about ripping her heart out in Camelot.”
  • True, dat.
  • So Regina gave this book to Robin?  How did it end up in Neal’s apartment?
  • Also, good thing that no one in New York ever needs an apartment so they left this one totally untouched for the year or so since he died.
  • Parilla really looks good in this scene.
  • Rumple must have been thinking “wow, I can’t believe I have to listen to all this maudlin soul-searching just to find out where I have to go to kill my grandson.”
  • The Librarian is all “no one comes here because everyone else in the world uses this thing called ‘the internet.'”
  • Henry used to know how to use the internet when he used it to find Emma, but apparently magic makes your googling skills rusty.
  • …Or, Henry could just write with his pen “the solution to all their problems showed up right now.”
  • I’ve seen a lot of hospital labs and doctors, and I’m pretty sure none of them were set up for wand reattachment.
  • Good thing the library doesn’t have any alarm system for all its totally rare and mystical artifacts.
  • That was the shortest fight in the history of fights.
  • I never know why anyone thinks they can go up against Rumple.
  • In Steampunk Land, it appears magic is basically electricity.
  • Oops.
  • Well, I’m not so sure the book version of Hyde looked like Sam Witwer, but ok.
  • Actually Henry, your dad initially got gone when his fake fiancée shot him, sans magic.
  • Although, I guess he did fall into a portal right afterwards, but that actually saved his life, so really it was kind of a wash.
  • Regina just likes phlebotomy.
  • You would think, in a hospital, they’d have a bandage for that cut on Hyde’s face.
  • If Hyde wants to leave, why doesn’t he just make a portal back to Storybrooke with the wand?  Cut out the middleman.
  • Rumple can still take Belle around the world in the box.  He won’t even have to pay for an extra airline seat.
  • Once again, faced with a choice, Rumple went for the magic and not his family.
  • At least we got rid of Merida.
An Untold Story
  • Actually, isn’t Hyde just as clever as Jekyll?
  • Because he’s the same guy?
  • “Before we find him, we have to have a way to defeat him.”
  • Already Jekyll is smarter than Coulson.
  • Oh wow, this is some sketchy CG.
  • This is like the Land of Central Casting.
  • Like they just rounded up everyone on the lot that day who had their own costume.
  • Rumple apparently not going the subtle route.
  • Man, Rumple is going to drain this poor room service guy’s blood or something.
  • So the hotel is nice enough to have solid silver platters for room service, but not nice enough to get your order right.
  • At least Granny knows how to text.
  • Emma is reusing her “we have to be smart about this” line from the first half.
  • Rumple is not going to buy this.
  • That is a lot of liquid he just milked out of that flower.
  • I also kind of feel like Jekyll and Hyde is actually…a told story?
  • If Hyde wanted the potion, why didn’t he just let Jekyll finish it ages ago?
  • Rumple is always the smartest guy in the room.
  • “For better or worse, this is now who you are:  Guilt-ridden and weak.”
  • Scalpel back to Dr. Rumple.
  • Carlyle does such a good job with Evil!Gold! So controlled.
  • We will probably forget this moment, but maybe we should subsequently remember that Rumple was actually going to kill Regina and Emma right here.
  • Is there some reason Rumple doesn’t just smack the cup out of Henry’s hands right now?
  • Yikes, that was kinda gross.
  • Hyde gave birth to Jekyll.
  • Zelina finally found someone to fireball.
  • Why in God’s Name would Jekyll tell Snow to leave the taser, when that was the only thing that would even slow Hyde down?
  • Oh right, Rumple.  Like you had any intention of rescuing anyone but Belle.
  • Ha ha!  Gold knew Storybrooke was fine without magic all the time.
  • Grumpy! Henry!
  • Oh hey, I thought Neal’s fake fiancée killed this dude a long time ago.
  • So The Dragon won’t help dark souls, but he was willing to help August, who ran out on Emma, abandoned her as a baby, got her tossed in jail, and stole her money.
  • Although I guess I remember that he charged him pretty well for it.
  • Gold is all “this is the stupidest thing we have ever done.”
  • Why was Charming leading them through the CG square?  He hadn’t ever been there.
  • It’s a good thing Henry has the heart of the Truest Believer, because otherwise, this would be really embarrassing for him.
  • These guys are all “why is someone pitching pennies at us?”
  • The New Yorkers are all “best street performers ever!”
  • Ok Emma, I think it’s a little overestimation to say that the thirty people in this square are “the world.”
  • Well, here’s the thing, Regina:  The Evil Queen isn’t some alien residing inside you that you can blame for everything.  She is actually you.  Wanting her to be gone so you don’t have to be sorry anymore is just trying to escape consequences.
  • That’s not really hero-ish.
  • Oh noooo, Snow.
  • You cannot seriously be thinking that this is a good idea.
  • In the first season, didn’t Charming give a whole speech to all of Storybrooke about how they had to embrace their lame cursed selves because they were just part of themselves?
  • Trying to separate yourself into good and evil bits never did anything good for anyone.
  • Did we learn nothing from “The Enemy Within!?”
  • Man, if you actually stuck someone with a needle that long, it would come out the other side of her wrist.
  • Oh, gross.  Again.
  • The Evil Queen had such cool clothes.
  • Why is good Regina taller than evil Regina?
  • Look, you can dust the Evil Queen, but I’m pretty sure the people she killed are still dead.
  • It’s not like the acts you did went away, Regina.  You still did them.
  • LOL that three of them apparently had to mash into the back of Gold’s car.
  • Did that put magic back into everywhere?  The Olympian Crystal seems like it had extra super duper magic in addition to Storybrooke’s magic.
  • Extra LOL that they apparently didn’t have enough budget to show Hyde’s “friends,” even after he introduced and presented them.
  • Maybe Darth Maul will be one of them.
  • Meanwhile, The Dragon is all “oh no, not again.”
Thoughts on the Season
  • So I think the whole “Dark Swan” storyline had some interesting pieces in it, particularly as it fleshed out the mythos of The Dark Ones.
  • Where it let me down a little was the whole Camelot bit, which seemed kind of poorly done technically, and ultimately unnecessary.
  • I might have felt better about it if, at the end, they had changed things around for Camelot, but actually they didn’t.
  • Everyone there, as far as we know, is still under the sway of Arthur’s roofie dust, including Guinevere, who he basically date-raped for the last several years of their marriage.
  • Also Merida was given the most annoying treatment since Mulan.  Constantly making poor decisions, taking wrong actions, and generally being kind of an irritant.
  • Ultimately, Emma didn’t really get all that dark, which I guess made it easier for her to come back without that much baggage.
  • I think the Underworld half worked better for me, although I had some issues with Hades.  The concept of limbo was interesting and the characters moving on or becoming lost forever meant the stories were more circumscribed.
  • In general, it seemed like a lot of the major arcs had the potential to go on for longer, but then in the interests of time, just got abruptly truncated.
  • I also have a lot of questions now about TRUE LOVE.
  • Remember back in the day, when Rumple did all this work to get tissue samples from Snow and Charming so he could work TRUE LOVE into his spell, because it was the rarest thing in the galaxy or something?
  • But this season alone, we got no less than three new couples of TRUE LOVE:  Hades/Zelina, Dorothy/Red, and Hook/Emma.
  • Also, I guess one failed TRUE LOVE couple, Gold/Belle.
  • In the first place, boy howdy, does TRUE LOVE not take that much time, because both Hades/Zelina and Dorothy/Red seem to have known each other for about half an hour before their love had reached critical mass and could vanquish the curses of Gods.
  • However, I guess I don’t really know what the qualifications are for TRUE LOVE, because on the one hand, Gold can’t wake up Belle because…she doesn’t love him?
  • But in this episode, Emma clarifies that it doesn’t work because Belle doesn’t want to be with him–which seems more reasonable than that she doesn’t love him, given that she just killed a dude for him.
  • If she does still love him though, you would think that it would actually still qualify for TRUE LOVE, just not maybe PERFECT LOVE, or even APPROPRIATE LOVE.
  • And on the other hand, Hades and Zelina did make the grade for TRUE LOVE even though it became clear later on that if he did love her, he certainly didn’t love her as much as he loved power–much like Rumple.
  • But that was ok, because…she didn’t know it at the time of the kiss?  So basically you can keep your TRUE LOVE status even if you are totally deceiving your partner, as long as they don’t find out?
  • For that matter then, it doesn’t seem like Belle’s plan of getting her Dad to wake her up would have worked either, because even though she loved him, it wasn’t like she wanted to be with him, either.
  • (Because he was kind of a suck Dad.)
  • Even Hook and Emma, although they have clearly made a lot of sacrifices for each other, seem like kind of a new relationship to get the TRUE LOVE stamp of approval.
  • When they get right down to it, neither one of them had a whole lot of confidence that they even had TRUE LOVE, whereas I’m pretty sure Snow and Charming were both 100% on the TRUE LOVE train from early on in their acquaintance, without having to get tested for it.
  • They kind of seem more like DESPERATE LOVE,  or EVERYONE ELSE IS PAIRED UP OR DEAD LOVE.
  • Anyway, on the final teaser for next season, I think that by now, everyone should know better than to try to split their evil selves off.
  • I do kind of understand what might have motivated it though:  Regina with her TRUE LOVE and new commitment to virtue was actually becoming pretty dull.
  • But by this time we had gone through the switchback between good and evil so often with her, it wasn’t really viable to have her go dark again.
  • This way we can keep her Hero (mostly) Status, and also have Parilla chewing the scenery as the Evil Queen, which is a nice compromise.
  • Looking forward to next season, exploring the duality of good vs. evil, and hopefully a bigger CG budget.