Tag Archives: Eichen House

Teen Wolf, Season Five, Episode 16: “Lie Ability”

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Why fight matches usually have weight divisions.

Spoiler Thoughts:

    • If the best encouragement Theo could give me to attack someone was “you’ll heal,” I might start thinking he didn’t have my best interests at heart.
    • Parrish seems like he’s going pretty easy on people trying to poison and electrocute him.
    • What in God’s Name did the guy whose superpower is changing colors think he was going to do against a Hellhound?
    • So you kind of tapped the guy trying to electrocute you against the wall, but fried the guy who was holding your wrist?  Harsh, Parrish.
    • Man, Mason may need a new date for the prom.
    • Theo, if you want to recruit people for your pack, maybe perforating them with a steel bar isn’t the best opener.
    • Err…what?
    • Man, her hair is pretty curly still, for all that writhing around.
    • DEUCALION
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I trust him.
    • Deucalion, giving out fatherly advice. He’s such a giver.
    • Scott isn’t the best spy.
    • Huh, I totally thought Meredith was dead by now.
    • Scorpion girl is pretty psycho.
    • You would think Kira would have read up on electricity after she discovered she was electricity.
    • All this whining and self-doubt isn’t really getting the job done, Kira.
    • It’s a measure of how messed up Teen Wolf usually is, that it never occurred to me how weird this scene where they just casually stroll through the room of cringing naked guys was until way afterwards.
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In Beacon Hills, we call this “Tuesday.”
    • Maybe Meredith was just trying to say your skin was soft, Scott.  No need to immediately start thinking everyone wants to get stabbed in the back of the neck.
    • Liam seems to be sweating it a little here.
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It’s ok Liam. Just use all that energy you had when you TRIED TO KILL SCOTT.
    • Parrish seems like he’s probably a little occupied right now, with the impalement and all.
    • Poor paralyzed Deucalion.  I trust him.
    • Theo, you have a better chance at Brother of the Year award than of ever getting Stiles to trust you.
    • Killing your sister =/= believing in Santa on the naïveté scale.
    • Valach could have at least put on Sinatra or something.
    • Poor Parrish is constantly waking up completely confused and horrified. And probably chilly.
    • Malia and Electroguy having the worst trust exercise ever.
    • Stiles and Theo are the Mulder/Krycek equivalent.
    • Theo:  King of the Unconvincing Rationalization
    • Lydia would probably be more sympathetic to Valach’s sad history if he hadn’t just drilled a hole into her head.
    • Lydia is horrified at having to wear that ugly hat.
    • Posey makes the worst face here. Like he’s had experience lighting aerosol cans before and none of it was good.
    • Mason is my spirit animal.
    • Oh wow, that is why I don’t like loud noises.
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Itai
  • Dylan, keeping in shape for Maze Runner 3.
  • Theo is always the bridesmaid, never the bride.
  • Mason is all of us.
  • So unpleasant, Hayden.  Don’t you be mean to Mason.
  • Parrish burnt through the Mountain Ash?
  • Isn’t the point of ash, it’s what doesn’t get burnt up?
  • Wow, Parrish totally did the Charles Atlas “go away little man” maneuver on Stiles.
  • Holy…
  • Well to be fair, Mrs. Martin, you did put her into that Hellhole.
  • This is really taking a toll on that poor jeep.
  • Scott’s all “worst backseat passengers ever.”
  • Deaton, man, you knew they were coming–why for did you not have that stuff drawn up already?
  • Deaton, man, you know how to check if something’s alive or dead. Why for are you making Stiles go through this?
  • Well to be fair, the other guys did help a little.
  • But maybe Lydia’s Mom will get off Stiles’ back now.
  • Coach!  Coach is coming back!
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Teen Wolf, Season Five, Episode Fifteen: “Amplification”

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Do you know the way to San Jose?

Spoiler Thoughts:

    • I’m glad they all let Lydia just hang out all safe and all in Arkam Asylum all this time.
    • If I was even remotely close to critical, I’d have a living will made out demanding I be taken to Hill Valley Hospital.
    • “Put my body out on the street before you take me to Beacon Memorial.”
    • I feel like Melissa has enough experience by now to not hang around when a creepy elevator gets to her floor.
    • Somebody take up a collection and buy poor Parrish a shirt.
    • I’m not so sure I think drilling a hole in someone’s head is going to release anything but cerebrospinal fluid.
    • If you are in this pack, and you are still questioning Stiles’ plans like they have a chance of success, you might have already got a hole drilled into your head.
    • Well I guess we’d feel worse for that orderly, but she was kind of a bitch to Lydia, so…good luck.
    • Liam, surprised that Scott’s Mom is still mad at him for almost killing him.
    • I wish Kira wasn’t always the weak link.
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You gotta win one for the Asians, Kira.
    • No one thinks she can do this Scott. Her results are not confidence-inspiring.
    • Why don’t they just knock this dude out and take his keycard?
    • Who’d notice outside? It’s not like Eichen House spends on outside lighting.
    • This Eichen House guard is the only person in Beacon Hills trying to do his job right.
    • Poor naked Nelson.
    • Poor naked electrified Nelson.
    • Did Kira and Malia really think short shorts were the best break-in outfits?
    • Maybe they would have had a better chance of blending if they stole some scrubs too.
    • OH MY GOD, DID THAT GUY JUST SAY DR. FENRIS
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FENRIS
    • WITH GIDEON EMERY BACK AS DEUCALION
    • Dead.
    • Wow, Kira is producing sub-optimal results with this standing-and-doing-nothing method.
    • Deucalion! So good.
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I am badder than thou.
  • I’m not sure they have time for a brawl at this point.
  • This would have been a more suspenseful episode if we didn’t already know Theo and his gang end up walking out with Lydia.
  • Mrs. Martin should probably go home.
  • Everyone seems a little more surprised at the naked man on fire than you’d think, considering they were expecting him.
  • These fights are always the ones where I wonder why everyone suddenly forgot they could change into super powerful creatures.
  • I guess Mountain Ash, but they did just break apart a steel door.
  • This wasn’t enough to make Liam angry?
  • Can’t help thinking Posey just got tired of putting on the makeup. Now, a werewolf transformation consists of contacts and a couple of dental caps.

Teen Wolf, Season Five, Episode Eleven: “The Last Chimera”

Photo from MTV Press.

Spoiler Thoughts:

  • Ugh. I’m not sure trepanning is standard of care.
  • Oh, well at least Lydia didn’t get Kali Ma’d like Theo’s sister.
  • Wasn’t this the guy who had an eye in his forehead?
  • I can’t believe this awful creepy orderly is the only guy who never gets killed.
  • How does this girl not know the Sheriff when Stalinsky is in the ER like every week?
  • Scott’s looking a little peaked.
  • That’s not doing it good, Scott.
  • “Someone’s dying.”  It was almost you, Parrish.
  • Oh good thing he spun out right across the street from the Forest.
  • You know, Parrish, most people would pack a flashlight before flares.
  • Scott’s having one of those “heavy flow” days.
  • I feel like maybe everyone got so enamored of Dark!Angsty! Stiles, we’ve forgotten how funny he can be. Can we get happy funny Stiles back someday?
  • Well Stiles, how do you like getting the brunt of someone’s misdirected rage?
  • It has never, in the history of ever, been a good idea to check anyone into Eichen House.
  • It’s nice that everyone in town happens to be related to someone working at the hospital.
  • Liam’s Dad is all “why can’t my kid be like Mason.”
  • I wish I could walk into a library and have the book I need be the first one I randomly lift off the shelf.
  • Again, if only we had paid more attention to Danny’s school project on Telluric currents a couple years ago…
  • Mason is too good for this world.
  • Way to not sound like a total psycho, Parrish.
  • It’s been so long, I don’t remember why Malia knows what this kid looks like. I assume she fought him while everyone was out having individual issues.
  • Liam stopped off at the Zac Efron salon on the way to the Nemeton.
  • It’s always night at the Nemeton.
  • If Stiles doesn’t have a subdural by this time, it’ll be a miracle.
  • Argent’s entry would be a little more badass if it looked like he was even denting these guys a little bit.
  • Well I guess Scott was ok with giving away that whole “Theo doesn’t know I’m alive” advantage.
  • I’m actually with Theo on his assessment of Eichen House. Giving it a “would not recommend” on Yelp.

Teen Wolf, Season Four, Episode Twelve: “Smoke and Mirrors.”

Spoiler Thoughts:

  • If Kira can shoot electricity out her hands, I don’t know that she needs to be wandering around in the dark all the time.
  • Kate’s whole story doesn’t really jell that great.  She came to the temple where the Berserkers were all happy to see her because she was the Bone Woman?  What kind of qualifications did she fill for that?
  • Braeden’s not ok with Derek dying?  Honey, you are not alone.
  • The true horror is that apparently no one in Beacon Hills has seen Star Wars.
  • Peter is proof that if you act confidently enough, and look good enough in a v-neck, people will flock to you as a leader no matter how evil/crazy you are.
  • Oh hey, Derek gave the faux triskelion to Liam!  Because it worked so well for Kate, before.
  • Man, I wouldn’t be Mason for anything.
  • Yeah, Tamlyn Tomita’s back!
  • Ok, granted I’ve never been in that situation, but I’d think the gaping stab wound in her stomach would be painful enough to start the healing process without adding more pain on top.
  • Stiles is clearly the better Watcher here.  It’s a wonder Scott made it through, if this is all Derek had up his sleeves.
  • Also, why is Liam only killing Derek?  Did Stiles get enough abuse last season that he had an extra “not be killed” card for this one?
  • Here’s a thought:  If you roll up on an ancient evil temple that you already know is filled with evil-y things, maybe look out the window before you open the car door.
  • Well if that wasn’t the weirdest in-show commercial ever.
  • Sheriff Stalinski is the awesomest, as the only person to figure out that just repeating ineffectual measures isn’t that good a defense against the Berserkers.
  • Hey, another fight where everybody tries to slap fight a Berserker while somehow forgetting that they can turn into supernatural creatures.
  • I think this might have been more effective a scene if Scott had had his curse broken by his relationship to Stiles, rather than Liam.
  • Ok, what the what?
  • No seriously, what?!
  • What did wolf!Derek! do to Kate?  Lick her roughly?  She seemed all mauled, but there was no blood on Derek, so…
  • Also, hi nude!Derek! How did he get out into the bushes from where he was sitting around dying earlier?  Was getting stabbed to death with a bone knife part of the evolutionary process?  Was actual death part of the evolutionary process?
  • Kate is shocked, shocked that her bro shot her.  I am not so sure this should have been that much of a surprise.
  • I love Liam’s expression when Peter throws the table at him:  “HDY!”
  • Kate’s dialogue here is reminiscent of Mother Gothel in “Tangled:”  “Great.  Now I’m the bad guy!”
  • Well these Mexican hunters certainly turned out to be less totally crazy than they seemed in the first episode.
  • It is convenient that Tamlyn married a guy who is not only a history teacher, but who can also carve obsidian as a hobby.
  • Eichen House:  A franchise from the fine people who brought you Arkham Asylum.
  • Anyone else but me think it might be a mistake to double bunk two of your worst evils together?
  • Also LOL on how everyone thinks the creepiest thing in the world is looking at an eye.

Teen Wolf, Season Four, Episode 11: “A Promise to the Dead”

Spoiler thoughts:

  • Fun fact:  Drilling a hole into your own forehead won’t make an eye grow there, either.
  • Still don’t get how broke the McCalls are all of a sudden.  RN’s do pretty well, and Mrs. McCall can apparently work ER or OR.
  • Mason is either the nicest guy ever, or getting set up to be the Biggest Bad.
  • Doesn’t Malia’s dad wonder where she goes every night?  And morning?  And when she comes back all covered in monster blood?
  • Derek, apparently the first werewolf to ever consider that real estate and banks might be more reliable than a subterranean vault under the high school.
  • Eichen House is the worst place ever.  If you take your family member there, it better be because they ate at least 5 people, or they are not gonna make it.
  • Hey, way to not kill somebody, Peter.
  • The real tragedy of Teen Wolf:  Scott McCall has never seen Star Wars.
  • Secondmost real tragedy of Teen Wolf:  Derek doesn’t have a TV.
  • This is not the best fighting we’ve seen from Scott and Kira.  If she couldn’t dent the thing with an actual sword last time, why would she think slapping a berserker with a chain would do anything? Why not try electrocuting it?
  • Kate wants to know why Scott is so special.  If he fought like this all the time, we’d want to know too.
  • I feel like Parrish had a number of options here, and enlisting the help of someone who’s been bleeding out for who knows how long to help him unbend a rebar was maybe not the most intuitive of them.
  • So, is the benefactor thing all done then?  There effectively was no benefactor?  Nobody benefited except the assassins who killed a couple low-levels and then went back to their lives with a few mil?
  • I would think if all his friends started missing Scott, and Kate shows up with an extra berserker who clearly has their skull belted on, they might get a little suspicious.