Tag Archives: Dark Swan

Once Upon A Time, S5E05: “Dreamcatcher”

Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Wow, Emma just found out the whole plot from the last three episodes in one dreamcatcher.
  • Ouch, Emma.
  • Poor cowardly Gold.
  • Merida.  Still not a Rhodes scholar.
  • Ooo.  Emma’s decorating in early crazy period.
  • How much variety has Emma experienced, in magic?
  • Oh Henry.  This might not be the way to go.
  • Oops.  Hi Sir Violet’s father.
  • Sir Morgan has the same attitude towards potential writer son-in-laws as every father ever.
  • This is a pretty miserable day for Gold.
  • I can’t help thinking Emma could have found a faster way to go about this, than trying to make the most cowardly person in town brave.
  • Off we go, in the VW of evil.
  • The Mom’s talk of pep.
  • Have to say, given the success rate Emma and Regina have had in romance, I don’t know that I’d take advice from them.
  • Henry’s winning over Violet with the power of Pepsi.
  • Oh man, Henry.
  • Dude, Violet is just not that into you.
  • Well, it’s hard to think of what the boys look like in Camelot, where a guy with good dental hygiene isn’t attractive.
  • Merida really throws herself into her work.
  • Henry, horse-whisperer.
  • That’s a pretty big guess to see a piece of rope and assume it was tying up Gold.
  • How did Hook know that was in the box?  Or that the box was important?
  • Aw Henry.
  • Regina’s always thinking.
  • Hey, it’s the movie usher guy!
  • Arthur is kind of a sad man-child.
  • Say, that’s the best person Snow and Charming could confide in.
  • At least they’re consistent throughout realities.
  • Well at least Henry is doing better in this world.
  • I feel like we might be confusing bravery with pugilism.
  • Oh, this will not go well at all.
  • Well it’s true, Emma is still a deputy sheriff.  She has the right to call people on breaking and entering.
  • I’m not sure Henry should be all that distraught, when he can’t remember any of this happening, and things are clearly going OK now.
  • That was a good scene.  Morrison and Parilla are really good together.
  • I don’t know if Regina has ever had a scene in that doorway that she hasn’t won.
  • Notice that now that Regina’s good, her hair’s gotten longer.
  • I wonder if buns make you evil.

Once Upon A Time, S5E04: “The Broken Kingdom”

Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Emma’s apparently preparing for a Renaissance Fair.
  • Oh, Charming is such a boob, sometimes.
  • Ouch. Knife back to Snow.
  • Dances are nothing but trouble for everyone.
  • She seems kind of overly happy for flower petals.
  • I just don’t know what Guinevere expected, when she married a king.
  • Wow Charming, just spill all your guts.
  • Well sure, going down the black oil sewer seems like a great idea.
  • Oh ugh.
  • Apparently it’s “Throw Lancelot Under the Bus Day.”
  • Sometimes a wife has to go on the defensive.
  • I guess this is going to be one of those “Rashamon” deals?
  • Emma is just supposed to hang out in a stable? In that dress?
  • Yay Rumple! You have to think that he was the happiest Dark One of all.
  • Yeah, no touchee the dagger.
  • Oh, no, it’s going to be one of those “Arthur is a dick” deals.
  • I feel like maybe that doesn’t necessarily have to be the choice.
  • Oh, nice.
  • Nothing like getting dusted with Stepford Wife powder.
  • Ok that was good. I was fooled.
  • I apologize to Charming for thinking he was a total dupe.
  • Emma always looks so horrified at Rumple. I feel like maybe she should be more used to it by now.
  • Well that went well.
  • I don’t know that I would have just stood there while someone blew magic dust at me.  What if you blew it back?
  • That is some efficient dust, considering he used some to brainwash Guinevere and some to cover his entire Kingdom and still had leftovers.
  • I guess Merida did change her fate after all.
  • Gold’s being a little optimistic here.

Once Upon A Time, S5E03: “Siege Perilous”

Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Emma needed…an axe?
  • Pretty ominous when one of your team is a tree.
  • Charming is so elated to have a guy to hang with, who isn’t sleeping with his daughter.
  • I feel like trees shed bark and leaves and stuff pretty painlessly.  Why can’t we use those as samples?
  • Charming has no idea what’s going on.
  • Maybe because he’s a farmboy with probably no formal education and about a week’s worth of prince training?
  • I never get why we don’t ever address that.
  • The chance Charming is taking, is getting out of babysitting.
  • Oh WTH Grumpy.  Last week you were all “we need to go with you to help her!  We never get to show how much we care about everyone!”  Today it’s all “KILL THE BEAST!”
  • Maybe slow down on the promises if you don’t even know what the deal is, Charming.
  • Rumple is the only guy in this town that knows how to have fun.
  • I guess Happy’s not getting his axe back in one piece.
  • Not sure that was altogether comforting for Zelena.
  • It does seem as though Regina’s had quite a few second chances of her own.
  • Arthur just described his triangle with Lancelot and Guinevere as “a difficult situation.”
  • “Lancelot, he daid!”
  • Maybe you shouldn’t keep a lit flame in the chest with all your most precious stuff.
  • If I’m the Sheriff, my thinking runs towards fingerprints at this point.
  • Robin and Hook could actually be a hilarious duo.
  • How can Hook STILL have trouble with phones, when Robin can text photos and has been in Storybrooke a shorter amount of time?
  • Hook is so repulsed at this sonogram.
  • There are a lot of complex situations in this town.
  • I really love Emma’s new hair and wardrobe.
  • Evil is so much more stylish.
  • Why is it, everyone trying to look good gets sloppy hair?  It’s like once you turn evil, your concept of good is some hayseed.
  • Oh, it is peasant bro-hood!
  • Apparently Charming didn’t pay all that much attention to the Arthur legends.
  • Probably a bad competition, considering Guinevere is clearly EEEVVVIIIL.
  • That might be the fakest mushroom ever.
  • “Certain death!  You go first.”
  • That leather’s going to take some time to dry out.
  • Who’s going to pawn a bean?  Unless Belle’s a total moron, I think she’s going to be a little suspicious.
  • What a shocker, the Squire who was all suspicious-acting took a powder.
  • Ok, Doctoberfest is good.
  • Well it’s hardly fair jousting if one guy’s got a car.
  • Funny how the bridge can now hold like three guys, and Arthur isn’t making a move to help anything.
  • Arthur acts like he wasn’t watching the whole time.  What, did he have to go to the bathroom or something?
  • I don’t know if I’d do trust exercises with the Dark One.
  • Aw, she didn’t even get to eat lunch.
  • How could that mushroom get out of a locked pouch?  It’s not like the armored knights had time to pickpocket him.
  • But Charming, you are a FARMBOY.  You ARE only famous because you kissed a sleeping princess.
  • In some reality, there’s a little old lady shrieking “WHERE’S THE BEAN?!”
  • Arthur, you mushroom stealer.
  • Oh good, Charming.  Now you can be the guy who kissed a sleeping princess and found a mushroom under a tent.
  • How is he going to be a knight of the round table if he’s not planning to stay?
  • That is some fast trusting Arthur is doing.
  • Oh, it’s dead Lancelot!
  • I think Charming’s getting duped again.
  • Poor soon-to-be-dead Grif.
  • Don’t do it Grif!
  • It will be a cornerstone of an EEEVVVIILL kingdom, Grif!
  • Robin just sits around eating in Granny’s all day.
  • Oh, it is just bro-hood week all around.
  • Hey, remember when Belle said she never wanted to see Gold again, and took up macking on Scarlett?  It’s not like he ever did anything less evil to make her change her mind.
  • He’s the hero?  A town full of princes and knights and whatever, and she’s picking him?
  • The guy with the heart so full of evil, it actually tried to kill him by its own self?
  • Well I totally don’t get what the point of the whole Squire plot was.  Arthur wanted him to steal the stuff, but then got Charming to get it back.
  • Then he pretended like there was a bean to send them back, but then there never was a bean, and he doesn’t even want to get back.
  • For that matter, why did he tell Charming where the mushroom was in the first place, if he didn’t want him to have it?
  • I feel like maybe Guinevere might be the brains in this operation.

Once Upon A Time, S5E02: “The Price”

Photo from http://onceuponatime.wikia.com/wiki/Once_Upon_a_Time_Wiki
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • The denizens of Storybrooke are never slow to lose faith in all their leaders.
  • Good thing Camelot stories always end happy.
  • Oh, this is the post-Nimue era.
  • I’d like to go back to last season for a moment, where I mentioned that maybe anyone else but Emma would have been a better choice to become the Dark One.
  • Wow, this is like that Friends episode where Monica and Rachel switched places so Rachel could have health insurance.
  • Arthur’s all “why do I take orders from you again?”
  • Like these medieval guys are going to balk unless they get bottled water.
  • No eavesdropping here, Charming.
  • Robin is constantly in distress.
  • The VW of sadness.
  • Poor Emma.  Too evil to even land a pirate.
  • Maybe don’t announce you love the hard way before you know if the hard way’s going to land you in the hospital.
  • Emma never got any perks when she was savior–what a gyp.
  • Camelot had dresses for Snow and Emma, but not Regina?
  • Actually, how did Charming learn to ball dance?  He was a farm boy!
  • Looking at all the guys’ formal attire, I have to think that Robin, Hook, and Charming all packed their own clothes.
  • Belle’s date at the ball is a rose in a bell jar.
  • Henry is awfully cute here.
  • Oh, this might not go all that well for Regina.
  • Why on Earth would Regina just sit there, while this dude kills Robin?
  • I feel like Charming could have just knocked him out.
  • I guess it’s kind of unrealistic to think that you can win over everyone, even with genuine repentance, after you torched all their families.
  • Hey, did we ever think that maybe we could get a doctor for Robin?  And not jump immediately to dark magic?
  • I mean, this is a royal court, right?  I can’t imagine they don’t have surgeons.
  • Oh Rumple is so wonderful.
  • Why doesn’t Emma ever tell anyone about talking to Rumple?
  • Eczema is a harsh mistress.
  • How could this possibly help Regina?
  • Nice to know that no one else had any idea of why it would help either.
  • I don’t know if I want my town run by people who would happily all move to die at once en mass without a clear plan.
  • Technopop is apparently stronger than True Love’s Kiss.
  • Well if the tradeoff for this great new wardrobe is not getting invited to the post-disaster parties at Granny’s, evil doesn’t seem that bad.
  • Guinevere is totes evil.
  • Robert Carlyle must enjoy this.  A few minutes of giggling and evil, and the rest taking a nap in street clothes.
  • There are a lot of people getting in line for this sword.  It probably belongs in the bottom of the lake with the One Ring.

Once Upon A Time, S5E1: “The Dark Swan”

Photo from http://onceuponatime.wikia.com/wiki/Once_Upon_a_Time_Wiki
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Well that worked differently than in “Sword in the Stone.”
  • Robin Hood still trying to wrap his mind around how quickly people change sides here.
  • Wow, I thought he was dead.
  • Oh, a dud.
  • Well, I might argue that you don’t owe anyone for something you didn’t ask for, but I might be evil.
  • Kind of a jerky peasant.
  • Maybe it would have been more meaningful if Robin Hood had jerked her hand away.
  • Rumple is so much more fun as Rumple.
  • I feel like maybe Zelena is not so reliable.
  • Oh Hook, you are such a dupe.
  • Merida doesn’t have the best judgement.
  • Bringing the Dark One home might not be the best move.
  • Breaking the Wicked Witch out might not be the best move either.
  • Wow, that did not go well at all.
  • How could anyone ever believe anyone is who they look like now?
  • There are a lot of conflicted feelings about mothers and children in this show.
  • I’m not sure having a kid is a guarantee they’ll love you forever.  Just sayin’.
  • Yay Regina!  Always nice when going good doesn’t mean going stupid.
  • Not that we’re looking at you, Hook, but…
  • Hard to blame Merida.  You pick up a hitchhiker that starts talking to themselves about killing you, you’re going to drop that sucker like a hot potato.
  • Maybe you shouldn’t take the kids and babies on the certain death adventure?
  • Merida is kind of an idiot.
  • Gosh, I didn’t think they were going to get there that fast.  I figured they were going to turn out to be good voices in her head, to combat Rumple.
  • At least Merida’s poor judgement is consistent.
  • I think Merida was pretty forgiving, considering how she reacted to Emma just saying she was going to kill her, versus actually trying to kill her.
  • They brought their own fast-food restaurant to Camelot.
  • Because you never know if you’re going to like the food when you travel.
  • That castle looks a mite familiar.
  • Everyone’s back!  And they stopped at a Renaissance Fair on the way back!
  • You know, the number of times these guys have had amnesia, they should probably all get MRIs.