Tag Archives: Belle

Once Upon A Time, S6E19: “The Black Fairy”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Newborn babies on TV are always so much better than newborn babies in real life.
  • Real newborns look like that movie “Alien,” but without teeth.
  • There are just Saviors popping out of the woodwork now.
  • Lol.  It looks like Gold is going to wake Blue up with a durian fruit.
  • You would think someone would have come up with charms everyone could wear that would flash if they were someone else in disguise or didn’t have their heart or something.
  • Like LoJack for hearts or something.
  • If Rumple could automagically put those anti-magic cuffs on anyone, you’d think he would have used them more often.
  • Belle, you moron.
  • If Emma succeeded in doing away with the Black Fairy, wouldn’t Gideon be able to go get his heart back by himself?
  • Rumple, you might not be thinking this all the way through.
  • Regina is determined that no one leaving Storybrooke is going to look stylish doing it.
  • Regina, you couldn’t even find her an automatic?!
  • Man, Tiger Lily is kind of a screwing-up fairy.
  • So, did we decide that even back when Belle first met Gideon and he warned her about Rumple, that he was being controlled by the Black Fairy?
  • You would think something as powerful as the wand, you’d just be able to detect by magic.
  • ALL THE LOL, that it was just sitting in a hole in the floor.
  • Oh look, Zelina figured out how to drive.
  • How does Rumple know instantly what he looked like as a baby?
  • Tiger Lily, you dope.  Why would you help her build this whole spell and only once it was done, think to ask what it was?
  • If you live in the Enchanted Forest, your destiny lies in your arm tattoo.
  • Regina’s all “the qualifications for Savior must be pretty low.”
  • OMG Belle.  You could shut it at any time.  The fact that he was supposed to be a Savior doesn’t negate all the evil he’s happily done all these years.
  • Belle is desperate to find something to justify her unhealthy addiction to Rumple.
  • Oh, but now if YOU kill the Black Fairy, suddenly it’s OK that we don’t know where Gideon’s heart is now, Gold?
  • Awesome.  You know, when I think someone’s magically going to kill me, I always let them put their hand on my head and cast a spell on me.
  • Tough luck, Fiona.  Rumple is in an excellent position to know whether you made the selfish choice.
  • Oh man, Carlyle is good.
  • Rumple, I am not so much believing you.
  • Belle, you are such a dupe.
  • Henry is honored, however it is also true that Hook has no other friends.
  • Rumple’s all “well, I never liked Swan anyway.”

Once Upon A Time, S6E18: “Where Bluebirds Fly”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Zelina is always the first stop in town for Evil Masterminds looking for a dupe.
  • At least it looks like Snow’s hair is growing out a little.
  • Oh, back with Belle.  Glad she’s totally forgotten all the hideous things Rumple did and is happily back with him again for the umpteenth time.
  • “You couldn’t have known that your mother was pulling all the strings!”  Belle, that doesn’t actually make him putting the Blue Fairy into a coma ok.
  • The only reason the two of you aren’t dumping her body into the street to make way for a loveseat is that you need her now.
  • WOW, I didn’t realize Belle never told anyone they essentially killed Blue for Gideon.
  • Belle, you are a total hero.
  • Zelina:  The Wicked Witch of Bad Decision Making.
  • That’s right, Charming.  You are the poster child of the art of stepping away.
  • Wow.  Zelina hasn’t been a major part of the story for so long, she’s still angry over stuff from last season.
  • Regina is probably all “I got split in half since then, and had to share hearts with an evil version of myself.  I barely remember what you’re talking about anymore.”
  • Hook has apparently forgotten about the part where he already lost the Jolly Roger in a bet.
  • No Snow.  No one wants to get married in Granny’s Diner.
  • The woods, the shore…even Regina’s office would look better, for Heaven’s sake.
  • Because everyone wants to get married to the tunes of a jukebox.
  • WTH Charming with the Whale thing.  This seems like questionable timing.
  • It’s hard to get too invested in Regina and Zelina trapped in the mines when we know they can literally poof themselves anywhere in an instant.
  • OMG, just let her go Regina.  No matter which one loses, I think it’s a win.
  • Those fairy crystals maybe have a pituitary problem.
  • Good going Zelina.  Again.
  • “I just knew you’d make the wrong decision.”  The Black Fairy is all of us.
  • Charming is hoping they can wait a little until he can save up enough to pay for the wedding on a sheriff’s salary.
  • Ok, if the crimson heart was a worthless piece of glass, how was it sucking out Zelina’s magic?  Because that actually seems like something that could be pretty useful.
  • It is a truism of this show, that the eviler you are, the better you wardrobe is.
  • Zelina has that cool cape-poncho and heeled boots, while Emma’s stuck with that thrift-store coat with the flowers on the chest.
  • Maybe Zelina could have tried to break the Tin Man’s curse with her own magic?  Like, maybe either losing all her own magic, or leaving him to rust wasn’t the only option?
  • Emma’s all MEE TOO and Zelina’s all “listen up five, two tens are speaking.”
  • “I’m not proud of what I did, but I did what I thought was best for myself.”  Yes Belle, that is EXACTLY what heroes do.
  • Except in the last episode, where the whole lesson was that heroes do THE EXACT OPPOSITE of that.
  • Ugh, Belle is so much the enabler for Gold.  I can’t even look at her.

Once Upon A Time, S5E06: “The Bear and the Bow”

Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Apparently this week is !Sassy!Belle week.
  • Well, its not like Belle hasn’t occasionally had that coming.
  • If Belle still helps Merida after she almost killed her with a rock to the head, she’s a dope.
  • At this point, if Merida and Belle both fell in a hole for the rest of the storyline, I’d be ok with that.
  • Granny’s getting more business out of Dark Swan than she ever did out of Light Swan.
  • Zelena might actually be the smartest one in town.
  • Actually, I’m thinking smashing your own foot with a rock might be a mistake.
  • By now, I feel like a bear might be a better ruler than Merida.
  • Oh hey,  Arthur.  Surely nothing will go wrong here.
  • Ok David.  I’m taking back the apology from last week.
  • Well I guess if you couldn’t hit someone with an arrow in the clutch, it would make sense that you wouldn’t want to rely on your archery later.
  • Man, Robert Carlyle is so good.  He totally sells all the different Golds/Rumples.
  • BEAR.
  • Ha ha.  Belle screwed you.
  • Look, if she doesn’t take the chance to shoot all three of those guys right now, she really doesn’t deserve to rule.
  • It’s too bad Merida’s dad didn’t teach all his kids how to fight.
  • Ok, that doesn’t even look like a bear.
  • I don’t know know why anyone even bothers doing anything besides throwing rocks at each other when its so effective.
  • I feel like a really evil Emma would make a snarky comment on Gold’s heartfelt declaration.
  • Like, you can’t tell me Regina would be sitting here listening to this and not making gagging noises, even now.
  • I can’t help feeling that it should take more than one act of self-defense to prove yourself a hero.
  • OMG.  Are you telling me Arthur didn’t sit there and see if the mushroom actually burnt?
  • Henry is also one of the smartest people in this town.
  • “Hi, this is Merlin.  My message box is full right now…”

Once Upon A Time, S4E15: “Enter the Dragon”

Spoiler Thoughts:

  • Ooh, everyone got fantasy-noire outfits.
  • If I were Regina, I would have just poofed myself out and watched how fast the other three managed to take a powder.
  • This might, however, just indicate that I’m more evil than the four of them combined.
  • Wow–now we find out why Maleficent always wears a hat. That’s some bad bed head.
  • Maleficent…is an Ab Fab reject?
  • King Stefan undid the curse? This seems a little incestuous.
  • I must say, I think Parilla is doing a much better job differentiating good/young Regina from evil Regina now. I was always a little unconvinced before.
  • I also like her hair longer.
  • This seems like a bad idea, Emma.
  • OMG. I still have no idea what Will Scarlet is adding to this whole thing, or why we see him each week for no apparent reason.
  • I’m not a bail bondsman, but shouldn’t Emma be following more than about five feet behind them?
  • So basically we can chalk Maleficent’s evil up to Mila’s horribleness too.
  • For some reason I remembered Aurora as blond.
  • Well that was an ineffective escape attempt.
  • Oh Belle, you are maybe not all that perceptive.
  • Ok, if Belle doesn’t think something is weird about this, then she isn’t even trying.
  • Although boy, she did take up with Will pretty quick after Rumple left.
  • Oh, hey August.

Once Upon A Time, S4E14: “Unforgiven”

Spoiler Thoughts:

  • What a cute baby Neal is.
  • Because deceit always works out well in Storybrooke.
  • I’m not sure your personal love life qualifies as “bigger problems,” Regina.
  • Ugh. Belle is maybe not the person you want protecting the magical artifacts.
  • Valiant =/= brainy
  • Cruella isn’t much for paying her parking tickets.
  • Hm. This doesn’t seem to be Snow and Charming’s shining hour.
  • Hey, remember when Emma could tell when people were lying to her? Anyone?
  • I guess Regina isn’t simpatico with all little boys.
  • Snow and Charming go to Avatar?
  • Wow, they really used to be better fighters.
  • …Or not.
  • People are always so much more blasé about coming back from the dead than I’d imagine.
  • Oh, Snow. I am disappoint.
  • WAT.
  • Who…would…with Maleficent…
  • Will Scarlet’s agent is the best. There is no other way he would still be photobombing this show otherwise.

Once Upon A Time, S4E13: “Darkness on the Edge of Town”

Spoiler Thoughts:

  • Cruella…has magical dog breath powers?
  • Weird, however I guess without that, her superpower is basically chain-smoking.
  • Oh hey, Regina’s reinstalled as mayor. Because Storybrooke votes the recidivist party.
  • Honestly, I know she’s good and all now, but she did spend a considerable amount of time killing and torturing people.
  • If it were me, I think I’d be up for inviting her to Granny’s, but I’d draw the line at using my tax dollars to pay for her mansion.
  • I see we still haven’t decided on how much assimilation Hook’s done to the Modern World.
  • Actually, why should Belle be so much better at the Internet than he is? Didn’t she spend the last 28 years locked up in the hospital basement?
  • Or did she assume all the memories of when she was “Lacey?” I was never sure how much that curse took.
  • Say, this is a happy library.
  • Belle has maybe not learned her lesson yet.
  • Shouldn’t the license plate be “DE VIL?”
  • Is this a flashback? Why did he seem like he never thought of any of this before, until Regina brought it up?
  • I guess the concept of personal responsibility wouldn’t be that attractive to villains.
  • I feel like we maybe didn’t check the credentials of that Oxford professor all that carefully.
  • I would probably make sure I got the dagger back from Regina at some point.
  • If I were one of these three, I’d wonder why Rumple wasn’t dealing with these challenges on his own, since none of them seem like they’d be too tough for him.
  • See, now that’s why I’d be wondering.
  • All evil people must also come equipped with powers of retrograde amnesia, or no one would ever deal with them again.
  • Gosh, that is some dicey CGI right there.
  • Also, don’t all hearts have the same potential for darkness? Isn’t that what we learned from when Snow kind of killed Cora?
  • Shoutout to the guy who totally ran across the street behind Regina and Emma, functionally photobombing them.
  • Like how the Dark One has fallen so far, he has a FLIP PHONE.
  • Shouldn’t Ursula and Cruella be like 30 years older by now?
  • Letting two arch-evils into town seems like kind of a unilateral decision for Emma and Regina to make on their own.
  • Ok, never mind the Author and the Sorcerer, Storybrooke needs an Archivist to make sure all these magical artifacts get recollected after each use.
  • Carlyle does such a nice job differentiating between all the different Rumple/Gold incarnations.
  • Apparently Snow hasn’t lost that dark spot on her heart yet.

Once Upon A Time, S4E12: “Heroes and Villains”

Spoiler Thoughts:

  • Belle always wanted a life in New York City?
  • “If you must know, it’s about ethics in magical journalism.”
  • Funny how no one from Storybrooke ever wants to go to LA or Hollywood or anywhere West of the Mississippi.
  • Well that was easier than expected.
  • “So I’ve figured why you collect so many magical objects!” …He’s a hoarder?
  • Wow–Belle’s outfit shoves her chest all the way up to her neck.
  • I feel like Robin will have to meet some unfortunate end soon.
  • …And, there you go.  Gosh, this seems convenient. They couldn’t find someone else who wanted to leave?
  • If Regina wasn’t so mopey, she’d reflect that Rumple would never leave without being able to take his magic with him.
  • “If anyone’s gonna crush your heart, it’s gonna be me.” Just what every girl wants to hear.
  • Storybrooke has the weirdest library ever.
  • Glad that Elsa has been crammed back into the exact same repressed outfit she wanted so desperately to escape.
  • Wait, what?
  • Why would the villains be in New York?
  • Besides the fact that New York is kinda villainous anyway?
  • Why would he know where Ursula worked? Was he planning to stop by on his honeymoon?
  • Robert Carlyle is great though. His moments really went a long way in redeeming this season.