Tag Archives: Belle Gold

Once Upon A Time, S5E18: “Ruby Slippers”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I would have said while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Mulan is the most mirthless character. 
  • Dorothy is pretty grim as well. This is like a medley of unpleasant characters plus Ruby. 
  • I don’t entirely get Zelina’s train of logic all the time. She doesn’t seem to want to be Team Hades, but then she’s not looking to be part of Team Swan, either, and those are kind of the only games in town.
  • Well actually, Belle, you were protecting Rumple. The baby wasn’t really in the picture. 
  • It’s nice they overtly acknowledge Charming isn’t the alpha hero in this family. 
  • Why are they all sitting there letting Cruella rip out the phone? Like they have to observe her mayoral powers?  
  • I don’t think the Underworld is where I’d start obeying municipal authority. Just bean Claude with a rock–it’s not like you’re gonna kill him.
  • Zelina really isn’t that thrilled at the prospect of becoming as earnestly dull as Regina. 
  • Whenever Regina shows up to chat with Zelina, she’s stuck being the Snow/Emma, and Zelina gets to be the Regina.
  • I thought Ruby found her pack and had to kill her Mom to stop her from killing Snow?
  • I guess we’re not getting the big David/James throw-down. 
  • Ugh. The Belle-Zelena mutual pity party is pretty sad. 
  • Maybe y’all are in your respectively pitiful states because of bad decision-making, and not some malign fate. 
  • Charming and Hook are always a good pairing. 
  • How is Ruby not going to smell the poppy when it’s stuck in her waistband?
  • When you control your powers, you can transform with your clothes. 
  • Are you KIDDING me? There’s another place to eat in town and no one ever went there?
  • And it serves chicken and waffles?! 
  • The idea that everyone still hangs out at Granny’s when they could be having chicken and waffles is maybe the most unbelievable thing ever in OUAT. 
  • Taking away the chicken and waffles cements Hades as total evil. 
  • If past results are positive predictors, Mulan is possibly the worst person to give relationship advice. 
  • Wait. If Hook can change the names, why doesn’t he change them to Gold and Zelena and Belle, and the rest of them can take a powder?
  • Or even some Joe Blow who is already stuck there?
  • I feel we’re not taking full advantage of this power. 
  • For that matter, why can’t they use the slippers to go back and forth every day? Do they get used up?
  • Maybe this is when the PR tour for Zootopia started.
  • Didn’t Hades just say it wasn’t about Zelena?
  • There are some good hairdressers in Oz. 
  • It’s very romantic, until you remember Aunt Em became liquefied for this reunion. 
  • Like Rumple could stop Hades doing boo in the Underworld. 
  • Poor Belle. Her only hope of true love is the Dad who tried to marry her off for political reasons, and then kidnapped her and tried to give her amnesia. 
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Once Upon A Time, S5E17: “Her Handsome Hero”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I would have said while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Well, they did a pretty good job in matching this guy’s outfit to the movie Gaston’s. 
  • Belle is kind of a pushover. 
  • GDI Belle. Gold’s not good. He doesn’t wanna be good. He’s never gonna be good.
  • It must be pretty cold if they finally got Emma a sturdy jacket. 
  • Maybe Emma could tell Snow about the foreshadowing of her doom?
  • Hades is kind of a mouth-breather. 
  • Does Gaston work in an animal shelter?
  • The way to Belle’s heart has always been to support her half-baked plans. 
  • Like literally, Merida almost crushed her skull with a rock, and she still helped her because she was flattered anyone believed in her magical prowess. 
  • Yeah, I think once someone kills you and makes you suffer for eternity, it’s probably a little late to kumbaya that over. 
  • Wait, doesn’t Zelena hate everyone again, since Hades told her he was on her side?
  • Gold does have a point. Belle is just using him like AAA when she wants something. 
  • “Here’s where she meets Price Charming, but she won’t discover that its him till chapter three.”
  • Regina became Dr. Phil all of a sudden. 
  • Well, Emma is kind of right. This was a terrible plan. 
  • But, it’s not like this is any different from all their other terrible plans. 
  • Actually Emma, I seem to remember you forcing Gold to come down here pretty good. 
  • I like how Gaston and Gold are totes down with murder, but breaking into a man’s locker? Sacré bleu!
  • It is a bad day for Gaston. 
  • Belle is such a dip. There is no way Gaston didn’t orchestrate all this. 
  • Holy Lipsmacking Gobstopper. Does Belle actually think Gold will keep his word to her?  When this has never happened before?
  • You are all the bad judgement, Belle. 
  • “We don’t like what we don’t understand, in fact it scares us, and this monster is mysterious at least…”
  • Gold does like to chat over his vengeance-getting. 
  • Well that could have gone better. 
  • Belle’s Dad is so much worse than Merida’s Mom. 
  • I guess you’d think Belle would like Gaston better for being a monster, like with Rumple. 
  • Glad Belle is apparently ok now, with all the lies and evil and betrayal Rumple’s accomplished during their marriage. 
  • By this time, I feel like Hades might be a better parent than either of them. 
  • Red’s back!  Yay!  Er…is she dead?

Once Upon A Time, S5E16: “Our Decay”

Spoiler Thoughts:
  • You know, Rebecca Mader gives it all she’s got, but Zelinda continues to not be my favorite character. 
  • This crazy/evil thing she’s got going is entertaining but starts to get one-note when she can’t seem to move past her abandonment issues. 
  • But that’s the same as all the villains, I think–Regina kind of stalled out for me when she kept flip-flopping back into evil because of Daniel, and Gold’s in danger of the same. It’s fun to see unabashed evil, but if it doesn’t go anywhere…it doesn’t go anywhere. 
  • Wow Dorothy. That was quite possibly the worst plan in the history of plans.
  • It’s a good thing Zelina suddenly forgot how to be effective. 
  • Gold can make portals? Wasn’t there roughly a jillion times where we really needed a portal and couldn’t get one?
  • Oh, and Zelina’s back in Storybrooke. Good thing she suddenly remembers to be competent when the plot requires it. 
  • Too bad we didn’t leave anyone with any power back in Storybrooke to protect against her. 
  • Blue is all “well that’s that. Peace and quiet at last.”
  • That’ll teach Zelina not to wear rubber soles. 
  • “No one loves you.” Ouch Hades. 
  • Hansel and Gretel’s witch is surprisingly helpful. She ought to have moved on by now. 
  • You tell them Henry. Like any of them are doing anything. 
  • “The Catch” is pretty repulsive looking. 
  • Everyone in Storybrooke celebrates their birthdays with a sad cupcake. 
  • Aw. Hades and Zelina bonded over their mutual vortices of perceived self-victimization. 
  • Oh wow, Rumple. Now might not be the time to go the full disclosure route. 
  • Yeah, this isn’t going well. 
  • Harsh truth times with Belle tonight. 
  • Belle, if you stay with him after all this, you are dumber than a sack of bricks. 
  • Regina, Evangelist for Good. 
  • This weird Shatner-esque delivery Hades keeps using is pretty distracting. 
  • Didn’t the bicycle actually belong to Elmira Gulch?
  • Robin the Credulous Hood. 
  • Wow, who could ever have predicted Zelina’s shocking betrayal. 
  • Serious? Those dudes couldn’t catch up to a limping woman in heels and a top hat?
  • It’s hard to think what Dorothy ever thought she could do against Zelina in the first place. 
  • Not being afraid of a homicidal lunatic when she’s got you paralyzed just shows a bad analysis of your situation, IMO. 
  • If all you needed was a baby for the spell, this doesn’t seem like the easiest one Hades could have gotten.
  • Everyone is as revolted by Zelina’s maudlin self-sacrifice as they were by her psychosis. 
  • Hades hasn’t really gotten out much. 
  • Oh wow. I can’t believe that they actually made me feel bad for Hades, putting the moves on Zelina. 
  • Oh Hades. If only there were someone who really loved you. 
  • This is the creepiest love scene ever, and it’s still more appealing than “The Catch.”

Once Upon A Time, S5E11: “Swan Song”

Ok, new Once Upon A Time tonight.  Time to catch up!

Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Wow, people had pretty crap fathers in Storybrooke. 
  • You can tell Emma’s getting good again, because her makeup is getting softer. 
  • Only evil girls wear bright red lipstick. That’s the law. 
  • Gold is kind of a downer here. 
  • Oh crap, I don’t remember Regina testing Hook. Did we see it already? Or are we going to flashback?
  • Oh, flashback. 
  • Because promises where you have to swear not to tell anyone ever always go well. 
  • Belle’s getting creeped out. 
  • Wow, Belle was all “thanks for the car. Bye bitches.”
  • Gold might be a hero, but still slow on the self-sacrifice scale. 
  • Oh man, I hope not Zelina. I think we’ve seen quite enough of you. 
  • I guess Granny took a powder after making the burgers?
  • This is apparently the family of good-looking guys who never get old. 
  • He fell in love while he was asleep?
  • That Mila is the source of all evil. 
  • Man, that was pretty slow-witted of Emma. 
  • Oh wow, that Neal is a cute baby. 
  • Ouch, Killian’s Dad. You could have at least made up a new bedtime motto.
  • Well that could have gone better. 
  • So Hook was able to turn it around with the memory of his Dad, but not with Emma?
  • Kinda deux ex machina, but ok. 
  • Poor Emma. 
  • Although if she had done this from the beginning, Merlin would still be alive. 
  • Nice that Storybrooke’s paramedics are still gainfully employed. 
  • Belle is kind of a sap. 
  • Urg.  Seeing them just have slept together is not making this relationship less squidgy.
  • Oh Gold. 
  • You can take the man out of the Dark…
  • Yeah Snow. You just try to be judgey in these circumstances. 
  • Gold is all “why should I get my shoes ruined?”
  • So summing up this first half of the season:  Clothes were better and I liked the additions to the Dark One mythology.
  • Still, a lot of it seemed like treading water. What happened to Arthur? We spent a lot of time on his story to just have him vanish at the end.
  • Plus, are we really ok with leaving Guinevere all date-rape drugged into submission by Arthur?
  • I’m not totally sure I buy Gold wanting the darkness back after he had already achieved hero-ness.  I feel like without the darkness, he should have been repelled at the idea of taking it back.
  • The whole end to Dark!Hook! was very Buffy/Angel.
  • Also, what was the point of making a big deal of bringing half the Town to Camelot?  They certainly didn’t do much once they were there.
  • I’m not sure what Regina was getting at when she kept needling Hook to remember about his Dad.  How did she know that would make the difference?
  • I hope Zelina takes a powder for awhile.  That character is becoming gratingly one-note.
  • It appeared that all the dwarfs got marked as well by the Dark Ones.  How come they didn’t show up by the lake at the end?
  • Everyone was so anxious to come along to Camelot, but strangely enough, no one seems to have wanted to tag along to Hell.

Once Upon A Time, S4E6: “Family Business”

Spoiler thoughts:

  • For such well-read people, they don’t seem to have a lot of sense.
  • Belle and Gold. Most awkward couple of Storybrooke.
  • Actually, they’re a little better at taking memories than giving them back, in Arendelle
  • #TeamKristoff
  • Hee. Captain Guy-Liner.
  • Good Lord, Elsa is the only one in Storybrooke that hasn’t seen Anna.
  • Seems hard to fall in love with someone who’s basically comatose.
  • Oh, wow. Anna’s the worst climber ever.
  • I guess the question would be, does Belle have the real dagger? Or the plastic knock-off?
  • How on Earth would Emma know if that writing is from this world? Did she go to runaway archeology school or something?
  • You would think, all that time alone in the castle, Anna would have looked up her family tree.
  • Well, not a shining moment for Belle.
  • Ew. She’s hugging him right on the bleeding cut.
  • OMG. The Enchanted Forest would have no history whatsoever if anyone ever spoke to each other.
  • Storybrooke: Town of inbreeding.