Tag Archives: Belle Gold

Once Upon A Time, S6E19: “The Black Fairy”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Newborn babies on TV are always so much better than newborn babies in real life.
  • Real newborns look like that movie “Alien,” but without teeth.
  • There are just Saviors popping out of the woodwork now.
  • Lol.  It looks like Gold is going to wake Blue up with a durian fruit.
  • You would think someone would have come up with charms everyone could wear that would flash if they were someone else in disguise or didn’t have their heart or something.
  • Like LoJack for hearts or something.
  • If Rumple could automagically put those anti-magic cuffs on anyone, you’d think he would have used them more often.
  • Belle, you moron.
  • If Emma succeeded in doing away with the Black Fairy, wouldn’t Gideon be able to go get his heart back by himself?
  • Rumple, you might not be thinking this all the way through.
  • Regina is determined that no one leaving Storybrooke is going to look stylish doing it.
  • Regina, you couldn’t even find her an automatic?!
  • Man, Tiger Lily is kind of a screwing-up fairy.
  • So, did we decide that even back when Belle first met Gideon and he warned her about Rumple, that he was being controlled by the Black Fairy?
  • You would think something as powerful as the wand, you’d just be able to detect by magic.
  • ALL THE LOL, that it was just sitting in a hole in the floor.
  • Oh look, Zelina figured out how to drive.
  • How does Rumple know instantly what he looked like as a baby?
  • Tiger Lily, you dope.  Why would you help her build this whole spell and only once it was done, think to ask what it was?
  • If you live in the Enchanted Forest, your destiny lies in your arm tattoo.
  • Regina’s all “the qualifications for Savior must be pretty low.”
  • OMG Belle.  You could shut it at any time.  The fact that he was supposed to be a Savior doesn’t negate all the evil he’s happily done all these years.
  • Belle is desperate to find something to justify her unhealthy addiction to Rumple.
  • Oh, but now if YOU kill the Black Fairy, suddenly it’s OK that we don’t know where Gideon’s heart is now, Gold?
  • Awesome.  You know, when I think someone’s magically going to kill me, I always let them put their hand on my head and cast a spell on me.
  • Tough luck, Fiona.  Rumple is in an excellent position to know whether you made the selfish choice.
  • Oh man, Carlyle is good.
  • Rumple, I am not so much believing you.
  • Belle, you are such a dupe.
  • Henry is honored, however it is also true that Hook has no other friends.
  • Rumple’s all “well, I never liked Swan anyway.”

Once Upon A Time, S6E18: “Where Bluebirds Fly”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Zelina is always the first stop in town for Evil Masterminds looking for a dupe.
  • At least it looks like Snow’s hair is growing out a little.
  • Oh, back with Belle.  Glad she’s totally forgotten all the hideous things Rumple did and is happily back with him again for the umpteenth time.
  • “You couldn’t have known that your mother was pulling all the strings!”  Belle, that doesn’t actually make him putting the Blue Fairy into a coma ok.
  • The only reason the two of you aren’t dumping her body into the street to make way for a loveseat is that you need her now.
  • WOW, I didn’t realize Belle never told anyone they essentially killed Blue for Gideon.
  • Belle, you are a total hero.
  • Zelina:  The Wicked Witch of Bad Decision Making.
  • That’s right, Charming.  You are the poster child of the art of stepping away.
  • Wow.  Zelina hasn’t been a major part of the story for so long, she’s still angry over stuff from last season.
  • Regina is probably all “I got split in half since then, and had to share hearts with an evil version of myself.  I barely remember what you’re talking about anymore.”
  • Hook has apparently forgotten about the part where he already lost the Jolly Roger in a bet.
  • No Snow.  No one wants to get married in Granny’s Diner.
  • The woods, the shore…even Regina’s office would look better, for Heaven’s sake.
  • Because everyone wants to get married to the tunes of a jukebox.
  • WTH Charming with the Whale thing.  This seems like questionable timing.
  • It’s hard to get too invested in Regina and Zelina trapped in the mines when we know they can literally poof themselves anywhere in an instant.
  • OMG, just let her go Regina.  No matter which one loses, I think it’s a win.
  • Those fairy crystals maybe have a pituitary problem.
  • Good going Zelina.  Again.
  • “I just knew you’d make the wrong decision.”  The Black Fairy is all of us.
  • Charming is hoping they can wait a little until he can save up enough to pay for the wedding on a sheriff’s salary.
  • Ok, if the crimson heart was a worthless piece of glass, how was it sucking out Zelina’s magic?  Because that actually seems like something that could be pretty useful.
  • It is a truism of this show, that the eviler you are, the better you wardrobe is.
  • Zelina has that cool cape-poncho and heeled boots, while Emma’s stuck with that thrift-store coat with the flowers on the chest.
  • Maybe Zelina could have tried to break the Tin Man’s curse with her own magic?  Like, maybe either losing all her own magic, or leaving him to rust wasn’t the only option?
  • Emma’s all MEE TOO and Zelina’s all “listen up five, two tens are speaking.”
  • “I’m not proud of what I did, but I did what I thought was best for myself.”  Yes Belle, that is EXACTLY what heroes do.
  • Except in the last episode, where the whole lesson was that heroes do THE EXACT OPPOSITE of that.
  • Ugh, Belle is so much the enabler for Gold.  I can’t even look at her.

Once Upon A Time, S6E13: “Ill-Boding Patterns”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Ah, the Ogre Wars.  Part of the Rumple family album.
  • Man, Carlyle is getting a workout this season.
  • Sbaaaaarge
  • I dunno Hook.  Emma’s not always strong on the forgiveness front.
  • Belle, you are such a dolt.
  • Beowulf was kind of a dick.
  • Neal seems a little older here than when he got sucked into the portal.
  • Too bad Regina doesn’t have Emma’s superpower today.
  • Rumple, your son’s soul might already be missing.
  • How on Earth do you think Rumple is going to defeat Grendel without any magic, Bae?  He doesn’t even have a weapon!
  • Oh Regina.  You never do catch a break, do you.
  • You would think that the easiest thing would have been for Rumple to use his powers one last time, blink the two of them to a different town where no one knows them, and then start life over from that point.
  • You would also think that if Gideon knew that the Black Fairy was occupied and his cage door was unlocked (and he couldn’t save the other kid,) he would have just gotten out and left.
  • Good thing we never contemplated telling Belle that we found Gideon, Rumple.
  • Regina really needs to reincorporate the Evil Queen to get rid of these maudlin tendencies.
  • Well this puts a pretty poor light on all those self-righteous speeches Baelfire used to make, given that he was the one who started Rumple on his dark course to begin with.
  • It’s nice that Gold and his son finally found an activity they could do together (killing fairies.)
  • Rumple does enjoy his memory potions.
  • Ouch.
  • That dagger certainly was turning someone into a monster.
  • Baelfire had like the least resistance to evil of anyone so far.  He lasted all of about 10 minutes.
  • Of course Belle has about the same resistance to evil that Baelfire had.
  • Belle loves Rumple again, because he stepped up and volunteered to kill the fairy he’s wanted to kill for years?  This doesn’t seem like that big of a sacrifice on his part, Belle.
  • Meanwhile, Hook has spent this whole episode drinking at Granny’s.
  • You’d think Granny would cut a guy off after awhile.
  • OMG Emma.
  • Emma, you are the worst!  Why would you do that?
  • I guess when you think of it, Evil!Robin! and the Evil Queen are a pretty good match.

Once Upon A Time, S6E11: “Tougher Than The Rest”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Man, Henry is not a good tracker.
  • It’s hard to understand how Charming could feel that the appearance of the hooded dude whose coming has been foretold for the last year in Emma’s dreams is all because of his lame wish.
  • Well I guess the Black Fairy raised at least one kid.
  • Ok, I think young RumpleBelleSpawn may be confused as to how heroism works.
  • It’s not like you pass down being a hero by killing and eating the last one.
  • Maybe “Her Handsome Hero” was kind of a crappy book.
  • I like how Rumple doesn’t try to tell him how insane this is, but just starts trying to advise him on the technical difficulty.
  • Oh it’s Pinocchio!
  • Lying, thieving, ratfink Pinocchio!
  • Are you kidding me?!  Regina wrote that whole page-full of note in the five seconds it took Pinocchio to tell Emma about the Enchanted Grove?
  • I guess we know from whom Henry got his writing talent.
  • Regina, how well did you really think this would work?
  • Shouldn’t Robin be married, with a kid at this point?
  • It is amazing to me, how willing Storybrooke people are to just stand there while someone ties a bracelet on them.
  • Tip from me to you:  If someone who hates you starts putting something on your wrist without asking, you should probably shake it off first, and ask questions later.
  • Colin O’Donoghue, come to do his specialty number for the season.
  • Actually, can’t the Jolly Roger travel between worlds?
  • I guess the theme of tonight’s episode is sons and their father-induced angst.
  • Ok, I’m not sure how Robin’s timeline is working here.  How did Marian die before they got married, when Regina was supposed to kill her long after that?
  • Oh, Belle didn’t make it in this world.  So, already an improvement.
  • LOL that Charming thinks the best plan of action is to just never wake Snow up again.
  • For that matter, that means he can’t sleep either, which should do wonders to his already-tenuous state of mind.
  • Belle, walking in and basically asking Hook and Charming to let her son kill Emma.
  • “Can you trust me?”  Well, since you’ve already said that you’re ok with Rumple going off to find your son and help him kill Emma, I’m going to go with “no.”
  • Robin’s all “I’ll believe whatever you want.  We’re going to die in a couple minutes anyway.”
  • Robin, if you can pick any lock, why don’t you open up Regina’s cuff?
  • Look, Pinocchio was creeping on Emma even as a teen.
  • Emma, remember the last time you brought someone back?  And it was Marian, which was a disaster?  And then it turned out to be Zelina which was even more of a disaster?
  • Meanwhile, Pinocchio is all “um, could you guys get out before Rumple or Henry comes and kills me as an accessory?”
  • Good thing the tree Emma came from was a little better crafted, so it didn’t explode out babies.
  • I feel like this isn’t the fight in her vision, unless she all of a sudden takes off her jacket to reveal that she put on a tank top to go out in the cold rain that morning.
  • Hook is all “I don’t know what you’re talking about, and I had very little to do this season.”
  • Glad you kept tabs on Emma while she was out on the streets, Pinocchio.  I guess your interest didn’t actually extend to taking her in off the streets.
  • I still always think Pinocchio got off way too easy, for having actively ruined Emma’s life for the first 28 years.
  • If Belle ends up macking on Rumple at the end of this scene, after everything that has transpired, I don’t know what to say.
  • Rumple’s rationales for all the weird crap he’s tried to do this whole season don’t make any more sense in retrospect.
  • Gideon hates libraries.

Once Upon A Time, S6E9: “Changelings”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Alright, back to playing catch up with Storybrooke.
  • Actually, did we ever actually see Rumple taking a kid?  He totally failed with Cora.
  • I guess maybe Charming and his bro, but TBF, their Mom wasn’t all that good at staying attached.
  • Oh man, one Asian girl in the whole town, and he poofed her away.
  • Maybe that fairy should, I don’t know, make an attempt to get away?
  • The idea that either Rumple or the Evil Queen would ever trust each other is laughable.
  • Belle.  Constantly in distress.
  • I feel like a magical book that appears and tells you exactly what you’re looking for is mildly suspect.
  • I guess the non-fiction section is in a cave?
  • …And on the other hand, I’m not sure I’d believe any rando that shows up in my dreams and tells me he’s my son, either.
  • Jasmine, you haven’t been in Storybrooke for very long, so let me give you a heads-up:  Snow doesn’t always give the best advice.
  • Zelina, once again finding out what happens when you back the wrong horse.
  • You were already going to kill Hook, Rumple.  I’m not sure threatening him now is likely to be more effective.
  • Rumple, always two steps in front of everyone, throughout time.
  • The only one who could ever really defeat Rumple, is Rumple.
  • Didn’t we play out the crazy love-starved parent story with Zelina already?
  • It seems weird that Regina is so hung up on Zelina’s part in Robin’s death now.  Did I forget or didn’t they become best buds after that?
  • If Jasmine can just free Aladdin with a wish, it doesn’t seem like becoming a genie is such a big commitment.
  • “My magic can’t save him.”  Uhm…why, exactly?
  • Granny got screen time again!
  • Oh, maybe it wasn’t Granny.
  • Glad that Rumple couldn’t have done this Black Fairy deal at all without Belle’s meddling.  She really is the weakest link.
  • There ought to be a lucrative secondary market for squid ink.
  • OH SNAP.
  • Belle gets to find her own way back home.
  • Huh.  I always thought Rumple hated fairies because Blue wouldn’t help him get Neal back.
  • Why doesn’t Belle ask to go with her baby?  At least Snow had a reason.
  • This kind of feels like they needed to get rid of a baby but keep a regular character.
  • “I would never hurt you Belle.”  I kind of feel like you might have, Rumple.
  • Parilla and Carlyle are never better when they’re being opposing evils.
  • Emma, it’s a nice sentiment, but you really didn’t accomplish anything today.

Once Upon A Time, S6E8: “I’ll Be Your Mirror”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Ok, back after a couple weeks off. I see we are still in Ladyhawke mode. 
  • Had we established Regina had powers over all mirrors?  That seems like it would have come in handy for her in the past. 
  • Actually, this might be the best Snow and Charming’s relationship has ever been. 
  • Henry and Violet are so undramatic for such a constantly tumultuous romance. 
  • Man, Regina really isn’t firing on all cylinders lately. 
  • I feel as though Henry and Co. might have come up with tells for each other by now, in case of shape shifters. 
  • Oh man, Belle. Why in God’s Name would you think Zelina gives a rat’s ass about you or your baby?
  • Too bad the Will Scarlett dude from Wonderland’s contract apparently ran out, since he used to be the best thief in town. 
  • Belle now turning to full-out villain, as she guilt-trips some guy she doesn’t even know into sacrificing himself for her and her baby. 
  • The real person responsible for her sitch is, of course BELLE, and her chronically bad decision-making process. 
  • Still don’t get why Gold is so quick to get into bed, figuratively and literally, with the Evil Queen, when it seems clear it would serve him better with Belle to side against her. Isn’t she his whole purpose now?
  • Why does Evil Queen keep looking like she’s tearing up every time she talks to Henry?  Surely she can’t be capable of good impulses, the way Regina is capable of bad? 
  • I thought she was just the evil bits, not a fully developed person. 
  • Oh, oops. No one forgets a slouching nag. 
  • Shouldn’t Belle have a key to the shop by now?
  • I see Henry has the same success rate as his moms. 
  • I think they have had better dragons before. 
  • Did Emma just try stopping this dragon by throwing a rock at it while it flew by?
  • Ok, I thought they had a plan of some sort. Why did they start screaming for Henry to help them?
  • Henry:  Still the smartest guy in the room. 
  • Good thing Hook has so much practice shaking off concussions by now. 
  • Uhm, did we forget about the Dragon, who’s still stuck back there in the mirror?
  • Without his heart?
  • Jasmine might feel better about herself if she’d seen Belle try to talk Gold out of helping Emma get Hook back from the Underworld. 
  • Belle, don’t you think struggling before he slapped the cuff on you would have been more useful?
  • This must be the easiest week of work ever for Goodwin and Dallas. They basically just smooch and nap for the whole thing. 
  • Henry, you are so worth a better storyline than this cringeworthy teen romance. 
  • Oh ew
  • I guess Evil Queen and Gold were plotting something, but I was too busy pouring bleach in my eyes after they licked each other’s open mouth. 
  • Although, still less ew than Gold and Belle. 

Once Upon A Time, S6E7: “Heartless”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Oh no!  Snow got transported to the title card!
  • Ok, if you tell her what the potion is and what you’re going to do with it, it might not be that hard for Regina to figure out. 
  • Zelina’s probably going to betray the Evil Queen because she won’t help her take care of the baby. 
  • Oh what the what? Flashback!Charming! conveniently forgot his terrible farmer haircut. 
  • The best Blue can do for self defense is getting big and grabbing an axe?
  • Charming’s Mom is the worst. 
  • Your reminder that Charming’s Mom was such a bad farmer, she sold BOTH her kids and still couldn’t make a go of it.
  • If Belle still tries to make things work with Gold after this, she is the biggest simp ever. 
  • Snow, that sounds an awful lot like giving up. 
  • Charming, thy name is credulous. 
  • How does Blue think the fairies can protect Snow when she could barely protect herself from getting an axe between the wings just now?
  • Everyone looking at Regina like ALL THE EW. 
  • Oh, EW. 
  • You know it’s bad when you grossed out Zelina. 
  • Man, people should not drink just anything anyone puts in your hand. 
  • Charming’s dog is evil!
  • It’s also where Snow went to meet Charming and he dumped her for his wife, but who’s counting. 
  • Are Emma and Hook not in a hurry?  It’s going to be pretty bad if the Queen gets there with the Adder’s Tongue and whatever. 
  • Well that went well. 
  • It’s always been puzzling how Regina seems omnipotent when she’s evil, but kinda limited as a goodie. 
  • I don’t get why Belle doesn’t just tell Gold she’ll abort if he doesn’t help Snow and Charming. 
  • Why doesn’t Regina just put the protection spell on everyone?
  • Man, I really thought those guys were going to have a plan besides death when they marched over to the Queen. 
  • Glad no one in the town was particularly disturbed that Snow and Charming were going to die for them, when they could have easily removed the need by evacuating. 
  • I’m sure Belle forbidding anything means boo to Gold. 
  • Oh, we went full Ladyhawke. 

Once Upon A Time, S5E18: “Ruby Slippers”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I would have said while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Mulan is the most mirthless character. 
  • Dorothy is pretty grim as well. This is like a medley of unpleasant characters plus Ruby. 
  • I don’t entirely get Zelina’s train of logic all the time. She doesn’t seem to want to be Team Hades, but then she’s not looking to be part of Team Swan, either, and those are kind of the only games in town.
  • Well actually, Belle, you were protecting Rumple. The baby wasn’t really in the picture. 
  • It’s nice they overtly acknowledge Charming isn’t the alpha hero in this family. 
  • Why are they all sitting there letting Cruella rip out the phone? Like they have to observe her mayoral powers?  
  • I don’t think the Underworld is where I’d start obeying municipal authority. Just bean Claude with a rock–it’s not like you’re gonna kill him.
  • Zelina really isn’t that thrilled at the prospect of becoming as earnestly dull as Regina. 
  • Whenever Regina shows up to chat with Zelina, she’s stuck being the Snow/Emma, and Zelina gets to be the Regina.
  • I thought Ruby found her pack and had to kill her Mom to stop her from killing Snow?
  • I guess we’re not getting the big David/James throw-down. 
  • Ugh. The Belle-Zelena mutual pity party is pretty sad. 
  • Maybe y’all are in your respectively pitiful states because of bad decision-making, and not some malign fate. 
  • Charming and Hook are always a good pairing. 
  • How is Ruby not going to smell the poppy when it’s stuck in her waistband?
  • When you control your powers, you can transform with your clothes. 
  • Are you KIDDING me? There’s another place to eat in town and no one ever went there?
  • And it serves chicken and waffles?! 
  • The idea that everyone still hangs out at Granny’s when they could be having chicken and waffles is maybe the most unbelievable thing ever in OUAT. 
  • Taking away the chicken and waffles cements Hades as total evil. 
  • If past results are positive predictors, Mulan is possibly the worst person to give relationship advice. 
  • Wait. If Hook can change the names, why doesn’t he change them to Gold and Zelena and Belle, and the rest of them can take a powder?
  • Or even some Joe Blow who is already stuck there?
  • I feel we’re not taking full advantage of this power. 
  • For that matter, why can’t they use the slippers to go back and forth every day? Do they get used up?
  • Maybe this is when the PR tour for Zootopia started.
  • Didn’t Hades just say it wasn’t about Zelena?
  • There are some good hairdressers in Oz. 
  • It’s very romantic, until you remember Aunt Em became liquefied for this reunion. 
  • Like Rumple could stop Hades doing boo in the Underworld. 
  • Poor Belle. Her only hope of true love is the Dad who tried to marry her off for political reasons, and then kidnapped her and tried to give her amnesia. 

Once Upon A Time, S5E17: “Her Handsome Hero”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I would have said while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Well, they did a pretty good job in matching this guy’s outfit to the movie Gaston’s. 
  • Belle is kind of a pushover. 
  • GDI Belle. Gold’s not good. He doesn’t wanna be good. He’s never gonna be good.
  • It must be pretty cold if they finally got Emma a sturdy jacket. 
  • Maybe Emma could tell Snow about the foreshadowing of her doom?
  • Hades is kind of a mouth-breather. 
  • Does Gaston work in an animal shelter?
  • The way to Belle’s heart has always been to support her half-baked plans. 
  • Like literally, Merida almost crushed her skull with a rock, and she still helped her because she was flattered anyone believed in her magical prowess. 
  • Yeah, I think once someone kills you and makes you suffer for eternity, it’s probably a little late to kumbaya that over. 
  • Wait, doesn’t Zelena hate everyone again, since Hades told her he was on her side?
  • Gold does have a point. Belle is just using him like AAA when she wants something. 
  • “Here’s where she meets Price Charming, but she won’t discover that its him till chapter three.”
  • Regina became Dr. Phil all of a sudden. 
  • Well, Emma is kind of right. This was a terrible plan. 
  • But, it’s not like this is any different from all their other terrible plans. 
  • Actually Emma, I seem to remember you forcing Gold to come down here pretty good. 
  • I like how Gaston and Gold are totes down with murder, but breaking into a man’s locker? Sacré bleu!
  • It is a bad day for Gaston. 
  • Belle is such a dip. There is no way Gaston didn’t orchestrate all this. 
  • Holy Lipsmacking Gobstopper. Does Belle actually think Gold will keep his word to her?  When this has never happened before?
  • You are all the bad judgement, Belle. 
  • “We don’t like what we don’t understand, in fact it scares us, and this monster is mysterious at least…”
  • Gold does like to chat over his vengeance-getting. 
  • Well that could have gone better. 
  • Belle’s Dad is so much worse than Merida’s Mom. 
  • I guess you’d think Belle would like Gaston better for being a monster, like with Rumple. 
  • Glad Belle is apparently ok now, with all the lies and evil and betrayal Rumple’s accomplished during their marriage. 
  • By this time, I feel like Hades might be a better parent than either of them. 
  • Red’s back!  Yay!  Er…is she dead?

Once Upon A Time, S5E16: “Our Decay”

Spoiler Thoughts:
  • You know, Rebecca Mader gives it all she’s got, but Zelinda continues to not be my favorite character. 
  • This crazy/evil thing she’s got going is entertaining but starts to get one-note when she can’t seem to move past her abandonment issues. 
  • But that’s the same as all the villains, I think–Regina kind of stalled out for me when she kept flip-flopping back into evil because of Daniel, and Gold’s in danger of the same. It’s fun to see unabashed evil, but if it doesn’t go anywhere…it doesn’t go anywhere. 
  • Wow Dorothy. That was quite possibly the worst plan in the history of plans.
  • It’s a good thing Zelina suddenly forgot how to be effective. 
  • Gold can make portals? Wasn’t there roughly a jillion times where we really needed a portal and couldn’t get one?
  • Oh, and Zelina’s back in Storybrooke. Good thing she suddenly remembers to be competent when the plot requires it. 
  • Too bad we didn’t leave anyone with any power back in Storybrooke to protect against her. 
  • Blue is all “well that’s that. Peace and quiet at last.”
  • That’ll teach Zelina not to wear rubber soles. 
  • “No one loves you.” Ouch Hades. 
  • Hansel and Gretel’s witch is surprisingly helpful. She ought to have moved on by now. 
  • You tell them Henry. Like any of them are doing anything. 
  • “The Catch” is pretty repulsive looking. 
  • Everyone in Storybrooke celebrates their birthdays with a sad cupcake. 
  • Aw. Hades and Zelina bonded over their mutual vortices of perceived self-victimization. 
  • Oh wow, Rumple. Now might not be the time to go the full disclosure route. 
  • Yeah, this isn’t going well. 
  • Harsh truth times with Belle tonight. 
  • Belle, if you stay with him after all this, you are dumber than a sack of bricks. 
  • Regina, Evangelist for Good. 
  • This weird Shatner-esque delivery Hades keeps using is pretty distracting. 
  • Didn’t the bicycle actually belong to Elmira Gulch?
  • Robin the Credulous Hood. 
  • Wow, who could ever have predicted Zelina’s shocking betrayal. 
  • Serious? Those dudes couldn’t catch up to a limping woman in heels and a top hat?
  • It’s hard to think what Dorothy ever thought she could do against Zelina in the first place. 
  • Not being afraid of a homicidal lunatic when she’s got you paralyzed just shows a bad analysis of your situation, IMO. 
  • If all you needed was a baby for the spell, this doesn’t seem like the easiest one Hades could have gotten.
  • Everyone is as revolted by Zelina’s maudlin self-sacrifice as they were by her psychosis. 
  • Hades hasn’t really gotten out much. 
  • Oh wow. I can’t believe that they actually made me feel bad for Hades, putting the moves on Zelina. 
  • Oh Hades. If only there were someone who really loved you. 
  • This is the creepiest love scene ever, and it’s still more appealing than “The Catch.”