Once Upon A Time, S6E15: “A Wondrous Place”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • It occurs to me that Hook didn’t want to tell Emma and Charming about this because he knew they would act EXACTLY LIKE THIS.
  • If Nemo and Liam are so squeamish about getting Kraken’s blood, how did they ever think they were going to travel anywhere in the first place?
  • I’m confused as to where, in Aladdin’s timeline, this flashback is.
  • It seems like it’s afterwards, since Aladdin is all savior-decrepit, but then it can’t be too much afterwards, since he’s clearly not married to Jasmine and Jafar is still on the loose.
  • Also, I think Jasmine’s Dad is a pretty lousy sultan if he couldn’t raise an army from his own country.
  • Maybe that would have been a good wish from the lamp.  Did they ever think of that?
  • I guess he’s just that into her?
  • Man, is Aladdin the worst genie ever?  Why doesn’t he use magic or something to help anything?
  • Regina is all flying high after getting rid of the Evil Queen and incorporating all that new evil into her heart.
  • Lol that no one wants Charming awake.
  • Emma continuing to blame everyone else for her relationship problems, despite the fact that she was the one that said she didn’t want to see him anymore.
  • I feel like Hook is a little unfair, blaming Aladdin and Jasmine for scaring the Kraken away.  Like it was going to be scared off by two people hitting it with oars in a rowboat, but not by an emerging nautilus?
  • Ok Jasmine, I feel like the part where Jafar took away everything you cared about would actually make you WANT to face him again.
  • “You have nothing to fear.”  I don’t know, Hook.  If I were Jasmine, nothing about this situation would actually make me think that I had nothing to fear.
  • There are magical compasses for just about everything.
  • How does Emma know Hook didn’t just go off for a weekend or something?
  • Nice to know that you could go out for a burger and she’d have packed up your crap and tossed it out by the time you get back.
  • I believe the last time Snow was in a bar, she ended up sleeping with Dr. Whale, so this might not be the best idea.
  • “I used to think like that.”  Hook, you used to think like that about an hour ago.
  • Oh look, Ariel.  Another one of the crankier character incarnations.
  • Hasn’t Ariel found her prince and lost him like a jillion times already?
  • As Aunt Agatha would say, this seems like carelessness.
  • How is Eric’s navy going to be any help in the desert?
  • What if Jasmine just asked for the seal shaft to get fixed?  That seems kind of like the easier way to go.
  • Regina apparently has forgotten when Robin died and she more or less told everyone to shut up.
  • “We never get much time, do we?”  Liam, how long were you living in Storybrooke?  You were literally within walking distance of him for weeks!
  • Jafar’s lair is in Kelbo’s?
  • HOLY CRAP, Ariel came all this way again, stalking this poor dude, and again doesn’t want to talk to him?
  • Ariel, you are testing my list of worst OUAT characters.
  • Eric is looking at her legs like “apparently my understanding of mermaids is flawed.”
  • Well that genie plan worked out well.
  • I’m glad Jasmine and Ariel had this long secret conversation right in front of three dudes who are probably getting paid by Jafar.
  • Wow, Jasmine was, in fact, a total fail.
  • Good thing Jasmine didn’t do that exact thing the first time, or this whole storyline would have been a total waste.
  • For that matter, how did she hold onto the powder in her hand without dissolving herself?
  • I’m glad Emma went through her whole process of grieving and is happily moving on from Hook when Hook’s been gone for like, a day.
  • Oh hey, Emma.  I’m sure those tears of yours won’t ever be put to bad use.
  • Here’s something I never got about genies.  Jasmine is so anxious about using her last wish to set Aladdin free.  What if she used her wish, and then handed the bottle off to Hook, and then he could have three wishes and hand it back to her?
  • How come you can’t share the wishes with your friends?  Too afraid you won’t get the bottle back?
  • Ariel just took the crown jewel of Agrabah?!
  • Jasmine doesn’t seem afflicted by the same sense of obligation Hook had, about telling people the truth of how badly you screwed them over in the past.
  • I guess this story wasn’t really about Aladdin, since he did nothing except complain about stuff.
  • So basically Ariel had a solution to Hook’s problem in her pocket the whole time.  That’s…actually pretty consistent.
  • I like how Gideon’s plan to entrap Emma involved a) sending her true love away in a submarine, and b) opening up a new bar in Storybrooke.

Once Upon A Time, S6E14: “Page 23”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • I guess this was when Regina still took her Dad places.
  • Parilla sounds a little under the weather on this one.
  • I find it hard to believe that Regina can’t just magick a hole instead of making Robin dig with a shovel.
  • Oh, Robin and I think alike.
  • The return of the magical scissors.
  • Wait, what?
  • I thought Liam and the others went on to the Great Beyond along with Cora and Regina’s Dad?
  • Henry has had a lot of Mom issues with Regina.
  • I like Snow’s hair a little longer, I think.
  • Regina’s Dad was trying to fix her up?
  • Well that was the shortest engagement in history.
  • When did Hook learn enough magic to operate the dream catchers anyway?
  • I guess Emma forgot about all that part where we scientifically proved it was True Love because she was willing to risk burning to death for him.
  • Well no one could have possibly predicted that poignant archery-related outcome.
  • OMG finally!  Regina figures out what Kirk did in less than an hour in “Enemy Within.”
  • And it only took her like half of a season.
  • But on the other hand, Regina, if you had walked through that door and gotten together with Robin, roughly a jillion people who you subsequently killed would be alive today, so I kind of think it would have been a reasonable trade-off.
  • Snow is tired of trying to redeem people.
  • Henry writes in a nice font.
  • FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVER
  • I think it’s a bad sign when you have to distinguish realities by referring to one as “The Realm The Evil Queen Created With A Wish.”
  • And the two essentially black-hearted villains lived happily ever after in The Realm The Evil Queen Created With A Wish.
  • [Cue music]
  • Oh wait, we haven’t finished flogging Killian yet.
  • Emma looks so surprised that he’s not at home.  Like he would stick around after she gave him his ring back?
  • Gideon not a fan of reconciliations.

Kingdom Hearts HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue

So in the usual feast-or-famine way of things, “Mass Effect Andromeda” just came out, and “Mystic Messenger” is coming out with an April Fool’s DLC, and shortly “Kingdom Hearts HD 1.5 + 2.5 ReMIX Fight the Darkness” will be out, and sleep was for the weak anyway.

Before getting started on the behemoth that is the bulk of the whole Kingdom Hearts series, here’s an article I wrote recently for AllEars.Net about the last installment, “Kingdom Hearts HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue” which I was forced to play before all the games in the series before it, because Square Enix released it for the PS4 out of order and they apparently hate me and continuity:

http://land.allears.net/blogs/lauragilbreath/2017/03/kingdom_hearts_hd_28_final_cha.html

As you can imagine, playing the end of an eight-game series before the rest of it resulted in not a little confusion, but we should be in better shape for the rest of it.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to put on some coffee…

 

 

Once Upon A Time, S6E13: “Ill-Boding Patterns”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Ah, the Ogre Wars.  Part of the Rumple family album.
  • Man, Carlyle is getting a workout this season.
  • Sbaaaaarge
  • I dunno Hook.  Emma’s not always strong on the forgiveness front.
  • Belle, you are such a dolt.
  • Beowulf was kind of a dick.
  • Neal seems a little older here than when he got sucked into the portal.
  • Too bad Regina doesn’t have Emma’s superpower today.
  • Rumple, your son’s soul might already be missing.
  • How on Earth do you think Rumple is going to defeat Grendel without any magic, Bae?  He doesn’t even have a weapon!
  • Oh Regina.  You never do catch a break, do you.
  • You would think that the easiest thing would have been for Rumple to use his powers one last time, blink the two of them to a different town where no one knows them, and then start life over from that point.
  • You would also think that if Gideon knew that the Black Fairy was occupied and his cage door was unlocked (and he couldn’t save the other kid,) he would have just gotten out and left.
  • Good thing we never contemplated telling Belle that we found Gideon, Rumple.
  • Regina really needs to reincorporate the Evil Queen to get rid of these maudlin tendencies.
  • Well this puts a pretty poor light on all those self-righteous speeches Baelfire used to make, given that he was the one who started Rumple on his dark course to begin with.
  • It’s nice that Gold and his son finally found an activity they could do together (killing fairies.)
  • Rumple does enjoy his memory potions.
  • Ouch.
  • That dagger certainly was turning someone into a monster.
  • Baelfire had like the least resistance to evil of anyone so far.  He lasted all of about 10 minutes.
  • Of course Belle has about the same resistance to evil that Baelfire had.
  • Belle loves Rumple again, because he stepped up and volunteered to kill the fairy he’s wanted to kill for years?  This doesn’t seem like that big of a sacrifice on his part, Belle.
  • Meanwhile, Hook has spent this whole episode drinking at Granny’s.
  • You’d think Granny would cut a guy off after awhile.
  • OMG Emma.
  • Emma, you are the worst!  Why would you do that?
  • I guess when you think of it, Evil!Robin! and the Evil Queen are a pretty good match.

Once Upon A Time, S6E12: “Murder Most Foul”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • I see we’re trying to make Charming’s mom seem less lousy than she seemed before, selling off both sons.
  • Such cute babies.
  • What on Earth is Emma wearing?  It looks like someone’s Grandmother’s muumuu.
  • It’s like her sense of style went away with the Dark One.
  • I still don’t get how we decided that that one fight was the one she saw in her dreams, when it didn’t look anything like it, she didn’t kill or even dissuade the dude, and she wasn’t dressed the same.
  • I feel like that fall would have been more convincing if his head had actually hit the ground.
  • Regina, Mayor of AwkwardTown.
  • Snow’s back!  The award season for “Zootopia” must be over now.
  • Sbaaaarge.
  • Well to be fair, Archie, Hook didn’t say he bought the ring.  Maybe he pillaged it.
  • The Charming family tree tendency to not share information starts at the trunk, I see.
  • Hook, starting to wonder if it’s really a good idea to marry into this family in the first place.
  • Nice Charming.  Always a good move to ask people for help after you’ve insulted them.
  • Zelena, making an appearance so we remember she’s still a regular.
  • Well, who among us has not had to make the people we love promise not to keep running away and trying to kill other people.
  • Ah, this is apparently the “Charming is a jackass and learns a valuable lesson” episode for the season.
  • Oh man, that was a great Rumple moment.
  • Carlyle is awesome.
  • Oh NOW Emma’s superpower suddenly came back.
  • Isn’t Emma going to wonder when Hook didn’t even bother to wait around until she came out of the shed?
  • It does seem a little weird that Good Regina never gave back any of those hearts she took.
  • Wait, there are girls on Pleasure Island?  Wasn’t it part of the deal that there were only boys turning into donkeys?
  • Pinocchio, still a cheap thief even at that age.
  • Wow, that was a pretty ineffective way of protecting the boy, shepherd.
  • Charming, you are only going to screw this up.  You know this, we know this.
  • I guess they weren’t big on autopsies back in the Enchanted Forest.
  • A nice scene with Charming and Hook, after all.
  • Of course, it would have been pretty harsh for Charming to turn him down, given that Hook’s saved his life plenty by now.
  • I guess you’re not going to ask SNOW for her blessing?
  • …What?
  • Oh, this is unfortunate.
  • It’s Bucky Barnes and “Civil War” all over again.

Once Upon A Time, S6E11: “Tougher Than The Rest”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Man, Henry is not a good tracker.
  • It’s hard to understand how Charming could feel that the appearance of the hooded dude whose coming has been foretold for the last year in Emma’s dreams is all because of his lame wish.
  • Well I guess the Black Fairy raised at least one kid.
  • Ok, I think young RumpleBelleSpawn may be confused as to how heroism works.
  • It’s not like you pass down being a hero by killing and eating the last one.
  • Maybe “Her Handsome Hero” was kind of a crappy book.
  • I like how Rumple doesn’t try to tell him how insane this is, but just starts trying to advise him on the technical difficulty.
  • Oh it’s Pinocchio!
  • Lying, thieving, ratfink Pinocchio!
  • Are you kidding me?!  Regina wrote that whole page-full of note in the five seconds it took Pinocchio to tell Emma about the Enchanted Grove?
  • I guess we know from whom Henry got his writing talent.
  • Regina, how well did you really think this would work?
  • Shouldn’t Robin be married, with a kid at this point?
  • It is amazing to me, how willing Storybrooke people are to just stand there while someone ties a bracelet on them.
  • Tip from me to you:  If someone who hates you starts putting something on your wrist without asking, you should probably shake it off first, and ask questions later.
  • Colin O’Donoghue, come to do his specialty number for the season.
  • Actually, can’t the Jolly Roger travel between worlds?
  • I guess the theme of tonight’s episode is sons and their father-induced angst.
  • Ok, I’m not sure how Robin’s timeline is working here.  How did Marian die before they got married, when Regina was supposed to kill her long after that?
  • Oh, Belle didn’t make it in this world.  So, already an improvement.
  • LOL that Charming thinks the best plan of action is to just never wake Snow up again.
  • For that matter, that means he can’t sleep either, which should do wonders to his already-tenuous state of mind.
  • Belle, walking in and basically asking Hook and Charming to let her son kill Emma.
  • “Can you trust me?”  Well, since you’ve already said that you’re ok with Rumple going off to find your son and help him kill Emma, I’m going to go with “no.”
  • Robin’s all “I’ll believe whatever you want.  We’re going to die in a couple minutes anyway.”
  • Robin, if you can pick any lock, why don’t you open up Regina’s cuff?
  • Look, Pinocchio was creeping on Emma even as a teen.
  • Emma, remember the last time you brought someone back?  And it was Marian, which was a disaster?  And then it turned out to be Zelina which was even more of a disaster?
  • Meanwhile, Pinocchio is all “um, could you guys get out before Rumple or Henry comes and kills me as an accessory?”
  • Good thing the tree Emma came from was a little better crafted, so it didn’t explode out babies.
  • I feel like this isn’t the fight in her vision, unless she all of a sudden takes off her jacket to reveal that she put on a tank top to go out in the cold rain that morning.
  • Hook is all “I don’t know what you’re talking about, and I had very little to do this season.”
  • Glad you kept tabs on Emma while she was out on the streets, Pinocchio.  I guess your interest didn’t actually extend to taking her in off the streets.
  • I still always think Pinocchio got off way too easy, for having actively ruined Emma’s life for the first 28 years.
  • If Belle ends up macking on Rumple at the end of this scene, after everything that has transpired, I don’t know what to say.
  • Rumple’s rationales for all the weird crap he’s tried to do this whole season don’t make any more sense in retrospect.
  • Gideon hates libraries.

Once Upon A Time, S6E10: “Wish You Were Here”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • I see we haven’t learned the whole lesson of having to accept all parts of yourself yet.
  • Not a huge fan of Regina’s new haircut.  She always looks fabulous as the Evil Queen, tho.
  • Hey, good thing Aladdin took the leap and became the genie and Jasmine just sat around and never even made her wish.
  • Lol that the Charmings had a portrait made of Neal.
  • Nice that Team Hero is as good at working together as they ever were.
  • “Ew.”
  • Well, TBF, the Evil Queen probably couldn’t have accomplished half as much without the help of Jasmine.
  • Really Regina?  That’s your wish?  You didn’t want to wish that, say, you had never split off the Evil Queen in the first place?
  • Because I feel like that would have solved a bunch of problems.
  • Also, maybe would have thrown in a 3rd wish, that Aladdin was free, and then the season would have been over?
  • Here’s a thought Regina:  Maybe now is a good time to use those shape-shifting powers.
  • Emma, doing the full-on Briar Rose routine.
  • Nice to know that in any reality, Charming never gets to land a blow on Regina.
  • “I can’t bear to think what she’s doing to Aladdin.”  Way to get your head in the game, Jasmine.
  • Now Hook, I’m not saying you shouldn’t have faith in Charming’s plan.  I’m just saying that never, in the course of history, has any of Charming’s plans worked.
  • Wow, Carlyle’s had to get the makeup on more times in the last couple episodes than in the last couple seasons.
  • Regina, allying with Rumple is maybe not the best way to win Emma’s confidence.
  • “Be evil!  Have fun storming the castle!”
  • I guess I would have just assumed that Blue took Gideon somewhere into a different realm.  How could he be safe anywhere on Earth where Rumple could get at him?
  • Lol at the guards slamming the doors shut, not bothering to notice Regina standing right there.
  • First episode call back!
  • Regina cannot believe Emma is this useless.
  • Maybe this is the episode where we learn our lesson about good and evil both being necessary?
  • What does that even mean, Charming?
  • Wow, it’s amazing that he managed to make a worse wish than Regina.
  • Regina, I feel like this plan was maybe not that well thought out.
  • Savior-killing cloak guy arrives!
  • Goodbye, relatively ineffectual Jasmine and Aladdin.
  • GDI Belle, if you go back to Rumple now…
  • Man, it is hard to think of a bigger flail of an ending than that.
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