Category Archives: TV

Once Upon A Time, S6E19: “The Black Fairy”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Newborn babies on TV are always so much better than newborn babies in real life.
  • Real newborns look like that movie “Alien,” but without teeth.
  • There are just Saviors popping out of the woodwork now.
  • Lol.  It looks like Gold is going to wake Blue up with a durian fruit.
  • You would think someone would have come up with charms everyone could wear that would flash if they were someone else in disguise or didn’t have their heart or something.
  • Like LoJack for hearts or something.
  • If Rumple could automagically put those anti-magic cuffs on anyone, you’d think he would have used them more often.
  • Belle, you moron.
  • If Emma succeeded in doing away with the Black Fairy, wouldn’t Gideon be able to go get his heart back by himself?
  • Rumple, you might not be thinking this all the way through.
  • Regina is determined that no one leaving Storybrooke is going to look stylish doing it.
  • Regina, you couldn’t even find her an automatic?!
  • Man, Tiger Lily is kind of a screwing-up fairy.
  • So, did we decide that even back when Belle first met Gideon and he warned her about Rumple, that he was being controlled by the Black Fairy?
  • You would think something as powerful as the wand, you’d just be able to detect by magic.
  • ALL THE LOL, that it was just sitting in a hole in the floor.
  • Oh look, Zelina figured out how to drive.
  • How does Rumple know instantly what he looked like as a baby?
  • Tiger Lily, you dope.  Why would you help her build this whole spell and only once it was done, think to ask what it was?
  • If you live in the Enchanted Forest, your destiny lies in your arm tattoo.
  • Regina’s all “the qualifications for Savior must be pretty low.”
  • OMG Belle.  You could shut it at any time.  The fact that he was supposed to be a Savior doesn’t negate all the evil he’s happily done all these years.
  • Belle is desperate to find something to justify her unhealthy addiction to Rumple.
  • Oh, but now if YOU kill the Black Fairy, suddenly it’s OK that we don’t know where Gideon’s heart is now, Gold?
  • Awesome.  You know, when I think someone’s magically going to kill me, I always let them put their hand on my head and cast a spell on me.
  • Tough luck, Fiona.  Rumple is in an excellent position to know whether you made the selfish choice.
  • Oh man, Carlyle is good.
  • Rumple, I am not so much believing you.
  • Belle, you are such a dupe.
  • Henry is honored, however it is also true that Hook has no other friends.
  • Rumple’s all “well, I never liked Swan anyway.”
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Once Upon A Time, S6E18: “Where Bluebirds Fly”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Zelina is always the first stop in town for Evil Masterminds looking for a dupe.
  • At least it looks like Snow’s hair is growing out a little.
  • Oh, back with Belle.  Glad she’s totally forgotten all the hideous things Rumple did and is happily back with him again for the umpteenth time.
  • “You couldn’t have known that your mother was pulling all the strings!”  Belle, that doesn’t actually make him putting the Blue Fairy into a coma ok.
  • The only reason the two of you aren’t dumping her body into the street to make way for a loveseat is that you need her now.
  • WOW, I didn’t realize Belle never told anyone they essentially killed Blue for Gideon.
  • Belle, you are a total hero.
  • Zelina:  The Wicked Witch of Bad Decision Making.
  • That’s right, Charming.  You are the poster child of the art of stepping away.
  • Wow.  Zelina hasn’t been a major part of the story for so long, she’s still angry over stuff from last season.
  • Regina is probably all “I got split in half since then, and had to share hearts with an evil version of myself.  I barely remember what you’re talking about anymore.”
  • Hook has apparently forgotten about the part where he already lost the Jolly Roger in a bet.
  • No Snow.  No one wants to get married in Granny’s Diner.
  • The woods, the shore…even Regina’s office would look better, for Heaven’s sake.
  • Because everyone wants to get married to the tunes of a jukebox.
  • WTH Charming with the Whale thing.  This seems like questionable timing.
  • It’s hard to get too invested in Regina and Zelina trapped in the mines when we know they can literally poof themselves anywhere in an instant.
  • OMG, just let her go Regina.  No matter which one loses, I think it’s a win.
  • Those fairy crystals maybe have a pituitary problem.
  • Good going Zelina.  Again.
  • “I just knew you’d make the wrong decision.”  The Black Fairy is all of us.
  • Charming is hoping they can wait a little until he can save up enough to pay for the wedding on a sheriff’s salary.
  • Ok, if the crimson heart was a worthless piece of glass, how was it sucking out Zelina’s magic?  Because that actually seems like something that could be pretty useful.
  • It is a truism of this show, that the eviler you are, the better you wardrobe is.
  • Zelina has that cool cape-poncho and heeled boots, while Emma’s stuck with that thrift-store coat with the flowers on the chest.
  • Maybe Zelina could have tried to break the Tin Man’s curse with her own magic?  Like, maybe either losing all her own magic, or leaving him to rust wasn’t the only option?
  • Emma’s all MEE TOO and Zelina’s all “listen up five, two tens are speaking.”
  • “I’m not proud of what I did, but I did what I thought was best for myself.”  Yes Belle, that is EXACTLY what heroes do.
  • Except in the last episode, where the whole lesson was that heroes do THE EXACT OPPOSITE of that.
  • Ugh, Belle is so much the enabler for Gold.  I can’t even look at her.

Once Upon A Time, S6E17: “Awake”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • For someone so good at surviving, Hook certainly does get hit on the head and rendered unconscious a lot.
  • Wait, Emma still has Savior Parkinson’s?  I thought we solved that somehow.
  • Charming, you are the Prince of Bad Decisions.
  • Poor Regina can now only be evil in flashback.
  • The Ranunculus of Hope.
  • Ok, somehow this is not exactly how I remember this all going down.
  • Ok, I’m pretty sure this is not how I remember this happening.
  • I feel like when Charming woke up, they didn’t have this immediate lovely reunion.  I think he didn’t remember anything, then the curse took hold and he went back to his fake wife.
  • Then he cheated on his fake wife with Snow, and his wife found out and slapped her across the face in front of the whole school.
  • So I guess I can understand why they might want to remember it a little differently.
  • Zelena, fulfilling her contractual obligations to be in the show this season.
  • Well super glad we did this ill-advised science experiment.
  • This is why we have oversight committees for medical research.
  • I like how Emma is telling Charming that he made it all worse, when Regina is standing right there.
  • Lol that Zelina’s all “the flower that woke you up from the Dark Curse only grows in the presence of GREAT EVIL” and Regina is still standing right there.
  • To be fair, the Black Fairy enjoys having a lot of boys call her “mother.”
  • Wow, Rumple’s usually a little more careful with his dagger.
  • We are really retconning this flower into the first season.
  • Deux ex Tiger Lilia.
  • SBARGE
  • It’s snowing now?  What kind of weather patterns do they have in Storybrooke?
  • This is some bizarre backstory they’re giving Tiger Lily here.
  • Why can’t she just shoot them all with darts and put them to sleep like last time?
  • OH FAKEOUT
  • One last Ranunulus of Hope.
  • 10 years isn’t just a little bit longer, Snow.
  • Man, this is a pretty bogus decision Snow is making.  I would not buy anything Rumple told me for free.
  • Ok, 1) I feel like maybe we should finish the sleeping spell curse before their hearts give out, and 2) if you see a disembodied shadow flying around, I think you should have a pretty good idea of where it came from.
  • By this time, no one but Hook even remembers the grandfather thing.
  • You are about three crises behind, Hook.
  • For her big romantic scene, they couldn’t do better for her than have her in her Salvation Army dress with the Peter Pan collar?
  • Man Regina.  Haven’t you already tried your quotient of risky cures for the day?
  • And the whole rest of the town just sits and watches as all the main characters fall asleep forever.
  • “Finally we got rid of those jinxes!  Now maybe this town can lead a regular life!”
  • Oh, awesome.
  • I think it would have been hilarious if they all got up and yelled SURPRISE!
  • Glad Belle is of so much use to anyone she never shows up except to whine about how Gideon is really a good boy.
  • “If you come at me, there may be nothing left of this town when we finish.”
  • Rumple’s all “go for it.  I always hated this town to begin with.”

Once Upon A Time, S6E16: “Mother’s Little Helper”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • I feel as though if Gideon actually thought his cause was this righteous, he might have just asked for her help in the first place.
  • Enchanted people have some serious issues with their moms.
  • Frankly, I think it’s stretching a little to call this incarnation of Belle a hero.
  • I always love when people barge into Gold’s shop demanding help, because you know that by the time they leave, they will totally be his dupes.
  • Ok Gold, I think it’s a little harsh to blame every dark magic we ever saw on the Black Fairy, considering a good part of it actually came from you.
  • Hm.  Henry all of a sudden needs a corneal transplant.
  • Well that spell could have gone better.
  • Apparently it’s time for us to consider Gideon a good guy now?
  • It’s a tough game of cards when you’re playing with a deck that’s not numbered.
  • Wow, glad that the gentler, kindler Storybrooke never got rid of its Arkham Asylum in the basement of the hospital.
  • HAMILTON TICKETS
  • Roderick, referring vaguely to a dark curse and not wanting to think about what she is doing now is not particularly persuasive evidence against the Black Fairy.
  • How did Roderick find out all this magical stuff stuck in the mines?
  • Back to Neverland.
  • Nope, not Gideon’s redemption time yet.
  • “This is on you Gideon!  And my boot.”
  • Maybe Regina should make up a spell that makes people glow when they don’t have their hearts.
  • I guess we’re making up for the whole rest of the season Colin O’Donoghue sat out.
  • I’m not even sure why Gold saved Emma in the first place.
  • I guess maybe he wanted to know where Gideon went?
  • WED 1901

Once Upon A Time, S6E15: “A Wondrous Place”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • It occurs to me that Hook didn’t want to tell Emma and Charming about this because he knew they would act EXACTLY LIKE THIS.
  • If Nemo and Liam are so squeamish about getting Kraken’s blood, how did they ever think they were going to travel anywhere in the first place?
  • I’m confused as to where, in Aladdin’s timeline, this flashback is.
  • It seems like it’s afterwards, since Aladdin is all savior-decrepit, but then it can’t be too much afterwards, since he’s clearly not married to Jasmine and Jafar is still on the loose.
  • Also, I think Jasmine’s Dad is a pretty lousy sultan if he couldn’t raise an army from his own country.
  • Maybe that would have been a good wish from the lamp.  Did they ever think of that?
  • I guess he’s just that into her?
  • Man, is Aladdin the worst genie ever?  Why doesn’t he use magic or something to help anything?
  • Regina is all flying high after getting rid of the Evil Queen and incorporating all that new evil into her heart.
  • Lol that no one wants Charming awake.
  • Emma continuing to blame everyone else for her relationship problems, despite the fact that she was the one that said she didn’t want to see him anymore.
  • I feel like Hook is a little unfair, blaming Aladdin and Jasmine for scaring the Kraken away.  Like it was going to be scared off by two people hitting it with oars in a rowboat, but not by an emerging nautilus?
  • Ok Jasmine, I feel like the part where Jafar took away everything you cared about would actually make you WANT to face him again.
  • “You have nothing to fear.”  I don’t know, Hook.  If I were Jasmine, nothing about this situation would actually make me think that I had nothing to fear.
  • There are magical compasses for just about everything.
  • How does Emma know Hook didn’t just go off for a weekend or something?
  • Nice to know that you could go out for a burger and she’d have packed up your crap and tossed it out by the time you get back.
  • I believe the last time Snow was in a bar, she ended up sleeping with Dr. Whale, so this might not be the best idea.
  • “I used to think like that.”  Hook, you used to think like that about an hour ago.
  • Oh look, Ariel.  Another one of the crankier character incarnations.
  • Hasn’t Ariel found her prince and lost him like a jillion times already?
  • As Aunt Agatha would say, this seems like carelessness.
  • How is Eric’s navy going to be any help in the desert?
  • What if Jasmine just asked for the seal shaft to get fixed?  That seems kind of like the easier way to go.
  • Regina apparently has forgotten when Robin died and she more or less told everyone to shut up.
  • “We never get much time, do we?”  Liam, how long were you living in Storybrooke?  You were literally within walking distance of him for weeks!
  • Jafar’s lair is in Kelbo’s?
  • HOLY CRAP, Ariel came all this way again, stalking this poor dude, and again doesn’t want to talk to him?
  • Ariel, you are testing my list of worst OUAT characters.
  • Eric is looking at her legs like “apparently my understanding of mermaids is flawed.”
  • Well that genie plan worked out well.
  • I’m glad Jasmine and Ariel had this long secret conversation right in front of three dudes who are probably getting paid by Jafar.
  • Wow, Jasmine was, in fact, a total fail.
  • Good thing Jasmine didn’t do that exact thing the first time, or this whole storyline would have been a total waste.
  • For that matter, how did she hold onto the powder in her hand without dissolving herself?
  • I’m glad Emma went through her whole process of grieving and is happily moving on from Hook when Hook’s been gone for like, a day.
  • Oh hey, Emma.  I’m sure those tears of yours won’t ever be put to bad use.
  • Here’s something I never got about genies.  Jasmine is so anxious about using her last wish to set Aladdin free.  What if she used her wish, and then handed the bottle off to Hook, and then he could have three wishes and hand it back to her?
  • How come you can’t share the wishes with your friends?  Too afraid you won’t get the bottle back?
  • Ariel just took the crown jewel of Agrabah?!
  • Jasmine doesn’t seem afflicted by the same sense of obligation Hook had, about telling people the truth of how badly you screwed them over in the past.
  • I guess this story wasn’t really about Aladdin, since he did nothing except complain about stuff.
  • So basically Ariel had a solution to Hook’s problem in her pocket the whole time.  That’s…actually pretty consistent.
  • I like how Gideon’s plan to entrap Emma involved a) sending her true love away in a submarine, and b) opening up a new bar in Storybrooke.

Once Upon A Time, S6E14: “Page 23”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • I guess this was when Regina still took her Dad places.
  • Parilla sounds a little under the weather on this one.
  • I find it hard to believe that Regina can’t just magick a hole instead of making Robin dig with a shovel.
  • Oh, Robin and I think alike.
  • The return of the magical scissors.
  • Wait, what?
  • I thought Liam and the others went on to the Great Beyond along with Cora and Regina’s Dad?
  • Henry has had a lot of Mom issues with Regina.
  • I like Snow’s hair a little longer, I think.
  • Regina’s Dad was trying to fix her up?
  • Well that was the shortest engagement in history.
  • When did Hook learn enough magic to operate the dream catchers anyway?
  • I guess Emma forgot about all that part where we scientifically proved it was True Love because she was willing to risk burning to death for him.
  • Well no one could have possibly predicted that poignant archery-related outcome.
  • OMG finally!  Regina figures out what Kirk did in less than an hour in “Enemy Within.”
  • And it only took her like half of a season.
  • But on the other hand, Regina, if you had walked through that door and gotten together with Robin, roughly a jillion people who you subsequently killed would be alive today, so I kind of think it would have been a reasonable trade-off.
  • Snow is tired of trying to redeem people.
  • Henry writes in a nice font.
  • FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVER
  • I think it’s a bad sign when you have to distinguish realities by referring to one as “The Realm The Evil Queen Created With A Wish.”
  • And the two essentially black-hearted villains lived happily ever after in The Realm The Evil Queen Created With A Wish.
  • [Cue music]
  • Oh wait, we haven’t finished flogging Killian yet.
  • Emma looks so surprised that he’s not at home.  Like he would stick around after she gave him his ring back?
  • Gideon not a fan of reconciliations.

Once Upon A Time, S6E13: “Ill-Boding Patterns”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I was saying while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Ah, the Ogre Wars.  Part of the Rumple family album.
  • Man, Carlyle is getting a workout this season.
  • Sbaaaaarge
  • I dunno Hook.  Emma’s not always strong on the forgiveness front.
  • Belle, you are such a dolt.
  • Beowulf was kind of a dick.
  • Neal seems a little older here than when he got sucked into the portal.
  • Too bad Regina doesn’t have Emma’s superpower today.
  • Rumple, your son’s soul might already be missing.
  • How on Earth do you think Rumple is going to defeat Grendel without any magic, Bae?  He doesn’t even have a weapon!
  • Oh Regina.  You never do catch a break, do you.
  • You would think that the easiest thing would have been for Rumple to use his powers one last time, blink the two of them to a different town where no one knows them, and then start life over from that point.
  • You would also think that if Gideon knew that the Black Fairy was occupied and his cage door was unlocked (and he couldn’t save the other kid,) he would have just gotten out and left.
  • Good thing we never contemplated telling Belle that we found Gideon, Rumple.
  • Regina really needs to reincorporate the Evil Queen to get rid of these maudlin tendencies.
  • Well this puts a pretty poor light on all those self-righteous speeches Baelfire used to make, given that he was the one who started Rumple on his dark course to begin with.
  • It’s nice that Gold and his son finally found an activity they could do together (killing fairies.)
  • Rumple does enjoy his memory potions.
  • Ouch.
  • That dagger certainly was turning someone into a monster.
  • Baelfire had like the least resistance to evil of anyone so far.  He lasted all of about 10 minutes.
  • Of course Belle has about the same resistance to evil that Baelfire had.
  • Belle loves Rumple again, because he stepped up and volunteered to kill the fairy he’s wanted to kill for years?  This doesn’t seem like that big of a sacrifice on his part, Belle.
  • Meanwhile, Hook has spent this whole episode drinking at Granny’s.
  • You’d think Granny would cut a guy off after awhile.
  • OMG Emma.
  • Emma, you are the worst!  Why would you do that?
  • I guess when you think of it, Evil!Robin! and the Evil Queen are a pretty good match.