Once Upon A Time, S5E18: “Ruby Slippers”

Are you watching this show? Do you wish someone would watch along with you because everyone else you know thinks it’s dumb?  Here is what I would have said while I was watching it–I WILL WATCH WITH YOU.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Mulan is the most mirthless character. 
  • Dorothy is pretty grim as well. This is like a medley of unpleasant characters plus Ruby. 
  • I don’t entirely get Zelina’s train of logic all the time. She doesn’t seem to want to be Team Hades, but then she’s not looking to be part of Team Swan, either, and those are kind of the only games in town.
  • Well actually, Belle, you were protecting Rumple. The baby wasn’t really in the picture. 
  • It’s nice they overtly acknowledge Charming isn’t the alpha hero in this family. 
  • Why are they all sitting there letting Cruella rip out the phone? Like they have to observe her mayoral powers?  
  • I don’t think the Underworld is where I’d start obeying municipal authority. Just bean Claude with a rock–it’s not like you’re gonna kill him.
  • Zelina really isn’t that thrilled at the prospect of becoming as earnestly dull as Regina. 
  • Whenever Regina shows up to chat with Zelina, she’s stuck being the Snow/Emma, and Zelina gets to be the Regina.
  • I thought Ruby found her pack and had to kill her Mom to stop her from killing Snow?
  • I guess we’re not getting the big David/James throw-down. 
  • Ugh. The Belle-Zelena mutual pity party is pretty sad. 
  • Maybe y’all are in your respectively pitiful states because of bad decision-making, and not some malign fate. 
  • Charming and Hook are always a good pairing. 
  • How is Ruby not going to smell the poppy when it’s stuck in her waistband?
  • When you control your powers, you can transform with your clothes. 
  • Are you KIDDING me? There’s another place to eat in town and no one ever went there?
  • And it serves chicken and waffles?! 
  • The idea that everyone still hangs out at Granny’s when they could be having chicken and waffles is maybe the most unbelievable thing ever in OUAT. 
  • Taking away the chicken and waffles cements Hades as total evil. 
  • If past results are positive predictors, Mulan is possibly the worst person to give relationship advice. 
  • Wait. If Hook can change the names, why doesn’t he change them to Gold and Zelena and Belle, and the rest of them can take a powder?
  • Or even some Joe Blow who is already stuck there?
  • I feel we’re not taking full advantage of this power. 
  • For that matter, why can’t they use the slippers to go back and forth every day? Do they get used up?
  • Maybe this is when the PR tour for Zootopia started.
  • Didn’t Hades just say it wasn’t about Zelena?
  • There are some good hairdressers in Oz. 
  • It’s very romantic, until you remember Aunt Em became liquefied for this reunion. 
  • Like Rumple could stop Hades doing boo in the Underworld. 
  • Poor Belle. Her only hope of true love is the Dad who tried to marry her off for political reasons, and then kidnapped her and tried to give her amnesia. 
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