Once Upon A Time, S5E11: “Swan Song”

Ok, new Once Upon A Time tonight.  Time to catch up!

Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Wow, people had pretty crap fathers in Storybrooke. 
  • You can tell Emma’s getting good again, because her makeup is getting softer. 
  • Only evil girls wear bright red lipstick. That’s the law. 
  • Gold is kind of a downer here. 
  • Oh crap, I don’t remember Regina testing Hook. Did we see it already? Or are we going to flashback?
  • Oh, flashback. 
  • Because promises where you have to swear not to tell anyone ever always go well. 
  • Belle’s getting creeped out. 
  • Wow, Belle was all “thanks for the car. Bye bitches.”
  • Gold might be a hero, but still slow on the self-sacrifice scale. 
  • Oh man, I hope not Zelina. I think we’ve seen quite enough of you. 
  • I guess Granny took a powder after making the burgers?
  • This is apparently the family of good-looking guys who never get old. 
  • He fell in love while he was asleep?
  • That Mila is the source of all evil. 
  • Man, that was pretty slow-witted of Emma. 
  • Oh wow, that Neal is a cute baby. 
  • Ouch, Killian’s Dad. You could have at least made up a new bedtime motto.
  • Well that could have gone better. 
  • So Hook was able to turn it around with the memory of his Dad, but not with Emma?
  • Kinda deux ex machina, but ok. 
  • Poor Emma. 
  • Although if she had done this from the beginning, Merlin would still be alive. 
  • Nice that Storybrooke’s paramedics are still gainfully employed. 
  • Belle is kind of a sap. 
  • Urg.  Seeing them just have slept together is not making this relationship less squidgy.
  • Oh Gold. 
  • You can take the man out of the Dark…
  • Yeah Snow. You just try to be judgey in these circumstances. 
  • Gold is all “why should I get my shoes ruined?”
  • So summing up this first half of the season:  Clothes were better and I liked the additions to the Dark One mythology.
  • Still, a lot of it seemed like treading water. What happened to Arthur? We spent a lot of time on his story to just have him vanish at the end.
  • Plus, are we really ok with leaving Guinevere all date-rape drugged into submission by Arthur?
  • I’m not totally sure I buy Gold wanting the darkness back after he had already achieved hero-ness.  I feel like without the darkness, he should have been repelled at the idea of taking it back.
  • The whole end to Dark!Hook! was very Buffy/Angel.
  • Also, what was the point of making a big deal of bringing half the Town to Camelot?  They certainly didn’t do much once they were there.
  • I’m not sure what Regina was getting at when she kept needling Hook to remember about his Dad.  How did she know that would make the difference?
  • I hope Zelina takes a powder for awhile.  That character is becoming gratingly one-note.
  • It appeared that all the dwarfs got marked as well by the Dark Ones.  How come they didn’t show up by the lake at the end?
  • Everyone was so anxious to come along to Camelot, but strangely enough, no one seems to have wanted to tag along to Hell.

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