Once Upon A Time, S5E15: “The Brothers Jones”

Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Man, it really bugs me that her license plate reads “Dev Il” instead of “De Vil.”
  • I do think that Cruella has so far worked a lot better in this storyline than her original one. The fact that she’s the only one with insight into the Author gives her significance that the dog breath thing really didn’t.
  • I still don’t think Emma should get a dark mark for killing her though. If she didn’t know Cruella couldn’t kill Henry, it was still self (?) defense. 
  • The idea that bringing that witch back to life undoes it seems like sophistry. 
  • BTW, let’s not forget what the curse taught us: The thing Cruella loves most, is MURDER. 
  • The Apprentice is also up there with Mila as the ultimate cause of gargantuan evils. 
  • Emma got the power of dry cleaning. 
  • Hm. Hook’s bro is kinda a jerk. 
  • Henry, you are the worst liar. 
  • Did it ever occur to Liam that he was a moron for not taking charge of all the money when he knew Killian was a doof?
  • Wow, if the prospect of sleeping with Cruella doesn’t actually make Charming barf, he really is a hero. 
  • This is some awkward exposition from the Brothers Jones. 
  • Liam, you loser. 
  • Man. As psycho as Cruella is, she is still way smarter than Charming. 
  • Well, to be fair, Charming’s Mom did sell him, too, as soon as the original money ran out. 
  • Gosh, remember when Emma had a superpower about knowing when people were lying?
  • Why does Hades speak like a Shatner impersonator?
  • Oh Liam. Your birds are done come home to roost. 
  • Ok, it is amazing that a large group of guys can throw bags over two guys heads, who doubtless are struggling and yelling, and march them all the way through town to the library in the middle of Main St., and no one blinks an eye. 
  • Are you kidding me? Dude killed a whole ship full of people, and he makes up for it by sacrificing himself for just his brother?
  • He wasn’t even sorry about any of them, in the end! He was sorry Killian found out!
  • Killian was pretty credulous buying this story to begin with. “Providence did the rest.”
  • Liam could at least have read the pages so he could have told someone what they said. 
  • Charming, your Mom sold you. And that was even after she was trying to get you to marry for money.
  • GDI. You can never get free of Zelina. 
  • It’s like she has the same agent as that Will Scarlett guy. 
  • I guess Rumple had to go have a nap after all the activity of last week.

Once Upon A Time, S5E14: “Devil’s Due”

Spoiler Thoughts:
  • “Keep all arms and hand inside the boat.”  Insult to injury. 
  • For all the terrible things Gold does, you can’t say that he doesn’t get swift and brutal karmic retribution most of the time. 
  • Man, Bae didn’t really have great survival instincts. 
  • Mila is the worst, but Gold is doing a pretty fast dive to the bottom as well here. 
  • Gold just loves the humiliation. 
  • This healer isn’t all that altruistic. 
  • Apparently he doesn’t take HMO. 
  • Rumple, feeling the disquiet when your ex becomes friends with your associates. 
  • How’s Mila thinking she’s going to shout out before Rumple silences her?
  • Lady Macbeth has nothing on Mila. 
  • Wow, Killian really improved in this flashback. He was a pretty common sleeze in the first time we checked this story. Now he’s a total white knight. 
  • Convenient that the road from the boat led directly to Hook. 
  • You would think Emma would have learned to wear rubber soled shoes on these missions by now. 
  • Actually, if Hook just swung a couple degrees while he was getting lowered down, he could have freed himself. 
  • I just feel like we could have bargained more with the healer instead of going immediately to homicide. 
  • I’m not sure I would be sitting down to tea with the guy who just tried to kill me. 
  • I wouldn’t be standing that close to the river of the damned. 
  • Rumple’s life is just a series of increasingly horrible deals. 
  • Regina is getting closure all over the place this season. 
  • This actually doesn’t seem like the worst deal Rumple could have made, but maybe he should have tried to put time limits on it. 
  • I’m not so sure why Mila’s so bent out of shape about this. He only sold his next kid, not hers. 
  • Rumple, you goober. 
  • I don’t really remember when Regina’s magic left. 
  • “She made me who I am.”  Carlyle is so good. 
  • Well remember Cora couldn’t grab Emma’s heart either. 
  • It must be such a relief to play full-blown Dark Rumple after having to be all angsty the rest of the episode. 
  • Ugh. I didn’t need to know what he and Belle were doing right before he left. 
  • Man, you would think, after all this time, Rumple would know how to construct a deal. 

Star Wars: The Old Republic Live-ish Blog. “Knights of the Fallen Empire” Chapters 1-3

Screenshot_2016-01-28_01_40_56_430257
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • A Presence on Ziost
  • This place seems troubled.
  • Well we never found our contact before skipping to search the bunker, so…oops?
  • Lana’s animation is so hinky. Why does she look so much more crudely drawn than everyone else? It’s like she’s not even from the same game.
  • This possessed commander who walked in and passed out writhing on the floor didn’t have much of a part.
  • Supreme Chancellor Saresh is kind of a jerk.
  • I like how the game at one point says “there is no way up. Go get the speeder.”
  • Because after all these hundreds of hours, it knows I will just sit here all day trying to walk up a 90 degree hill.
  • Ha ha. I jumped off a statue onto this hanging thing in the middle of the room, and now I can’t figure out how to get down without dying.
  • Always a bad sign when your followers don’t jump with you.
  • OMG, I just spent like half an hour trying to jump to this grating, when that wasn’t even how you were supposed to get over there.

Screenshot_2016-01-28_02_54_32_239903

  • Wow. Ziost isn’t looking that good.
  • Ok, I think we may be finally ready to start Knights of the Fallen Empire… The whole original point to this project….
  • Knights of the Fallen Empire: Prelude.
  • It’s pretty adamant that starting this is the point of no return. Your companions, etc. will change and their missions will be unavailable.
  • Fortunately, I think I maxed those dudes all out already.
  • Chapter 1: The Hunt
  • Watching the trailer, I could never figure out what side these guys were supposed to be.
  • Wait…I think I just lost like most of my abilities.
  • Ok, not totally sure what just happened, but the Empire makes lousy defense systems.
  • All our friends just ditched us!
  • Darth Marr is our follower now?!
  • Well that could have gone better.
  • It’s like ME 2 all over again.
  • Oh Darth Marr. This might not go well for you.
  • Prince Arcann is kind of a screw-up.
  • Chapter 2: A Dream of Empire
  • Hey our buddies!  They didn’t get too far.
  • Wow, the Emperor is making my character have the most unattractive expressions.
  • Like a cross between disgust and duck face.
  • So this is the Fade, Sith style.
  • Chapter 3: Outlander
  • Hi Lana.
  • You would think the droid factory would be programmed not to try to kill the person trying to save it.
  • T7 and HK-55! Together again!
  • Koth gets a little panicky.

Once Upon A Time, S5E13: “Labor of Love”

You can never have too many zippers in the Underworld.
Spoiler Thoughts:
  • Wonder if it’s Meg?
  • Well Hook certainly did a turnaround after Emma stabbed the darkness out of him. Wonder why it didn’t take that way for Rumple?
  • I would be totally paranoid by now if I was Snow, that David was James substituting.
  • Like maybe make Charming dye his hair or have a code word or something.
  • If the only people who died in Snow’s whole kingdom are represented by the handful of tombstones in the Storybrooke cemetery, I’d say she did a pretty good job.
  • How do these people think a 13 year-old can help them? Why doesn’t she send an army?
  • Her Dad wasn’t much for planning for emergencies.
  • If you fall in a trap, maybe calling attention to yourself isn’t what you want. 
  • BB Herc!
  • Hercules died?
  • That wasn’t how the Disney film ended. 
  • Regina just now remembered she has maps?
  • Sad that housing is easier to come by in the Underworld than LA. 
  • What if Hercules just beat up the bandits for Snow? I’m pretty sure the villagers didn’t actually expect Snow to kill the bandits herself. 
  • Hansel and Gretel’s witch is pretty forgiving to Regina considering she killed her. 
  • I kind of think questions like “how did you die” could be important. 
  • I thought the dwarfs taught Snow archery? Or am I thinking of another retelling?
  • Oh wait, that might have been the one with Julia Roberts. 
  • Why does anyone have to stand guard outside the office if the spell doesn’t let anyone in?
  • Doesn’t it seem like Cruella would be the best person to control Cerberus?
  • Well this does seem like a pretty poorly thought out plan, Snow.
  • I guess Regina eventually gave up on that whole “I won’t make her into a martyr” thing. 
  • Cruella’s eyebrows look better in death.
  • I feel like Emma is ok without bringing Cruella back to life.
  • Regina seems a little dismissive about the part where she took Snow’s kingdom, trapped everyone in misery for 28 years and kept Snow childless.
  • Not sure you can just go “no biggie” on that one.
  • Didn’t Charming give a big speech early on about how everyone needed both versions of themselves?
  • Nice Snow. I don’t even think that’s your bow you’re trying to break.
  • Why doesn’t Emma just blink them away like last time?
  • This still seems like a pretty half-assed plan, Snow.
  • What’s to keep these bandits from coming back tomorrow?
  • If those guys hadn’t been told not to kill her, I think Snow would have been toast.
  • If you know the thing has three heads, why would you split up in parties of two?
  • That’s right. Give the girl with no fighting experience the worst weapon.
  • No mod-sixties-vibe overlay is going to make “The Catch” an attractive program to me.
  • It’s a trap, Herc!
  • I don’t know why anyone of them would want to keep the loser personas Regina cursed them with anyway.
  • That’s right Henry. Keeping secrets always works great in your family.
  • Well this kind of seems like a no-brainer. Start with Gold, anyway.

Teen Wolf Season Finale, S5E20: “Apotheosis”

I see London, I see France…

Spoiler Thoughts:

  • See, I feel like I missed something here. When did we figure out the pike was the cane? How did Gerard get his mitts on it?
Screenshot (62)
I’m hammering out danger. I’m hammering out a warning.
  • Deaton is all “no Stiles. Being a vet doesn’t make me an expert on fetal cannibalism.”
  • Theo, this might not be a good time for this, given as how you’re exsanguinating.
  • Now, I’m not sure how Theo’s killing her here, because every other time we’ve seen this, someone’s jabbed their hand straight into the abdomen, which seems kind of effective.
  • Here, he’s just kind of…hugging her to death? Even though she’s clearly spiking him with paralytic toxin?
  • Well we’d feel worse about this, but Tracy was kind of a jerk anyway.
  • Deucalion is always thinking “amateur.”
How to Succeed in Werewolfing Without Really Trying
  • Sebastien picked up all Mason’s knowledge like a planarian.
  • Wow. Who would have thought that a still-alive evil force             would be a problem when it woke up? Besides everyone?
Screenshot (64)
The next American Idol.
  • Ok, I don’t even know how Sebastien could tell this was Marcel.  It looked like raw meat in a trench coat.
  • What was Marcel’s deal anyway? Sebastien didn’t seem all that into him.
  • Sometimes you should just Let It Go.
  • I feel like Malia wouldn’t just be cowering upstairs while Braeden plays Battleship with the Desert Wolf all by herself.
  • This whole “life is energy and can’t just be gone” theory seems a little less plausible when you consider…death?
  • Poor Lydia. She is getting all the crap this season.
  • Isn’t a nine millimeter pretty small? I might go with the musket.
Screenshot (65)
Sheriff, debating how much damage his pachinko-ball gun will do.
  • Clark, this is a bad time to get insubordinate.
  • RIP Mrs. McCall’s house.
  • We always hear of how good Talia Hale was. We also know how anybody (except Scott) becomes an alpha wolf, tho…
  • Theo, how are you ever going to get a pack when you keep trying to kill everyone even on speaking terms with you?
Screenshot (66)
Theo is beginning to look less trustworthy
  • Lydia has pretty much run through her medical deductible by now.
  • Argent, lowering the boom down on Emo!Parrish!
  • Ugh. We get to listen to Kira’s rambling voice mail twice.
  • Yeah, I’m not so sure this is exactly how cortisone works.
  • Plan A was Chipotle?
  • Man, no one’s healing powers are working worth a damn lately.
  • By this time, you’d think everyone would be wearing rubber soled shoes.
  • Stiles, son. What would make you think you should even say boo to the Desert Wolf?
  • Sebastien is having a hard time taking any werewolf in a hoodie seriously.
Screenshot (68)
Sebastien not a fan of today’s “Abercrombie & Fitch” werewolves.
  • He is not impressed with Theo’s power-taking abilities.
  • I KNEW we could trust Deucalion!
Screenshot (70)
I TRUST HIM
  • Ouch. Deucalion practices tough love.
  • Gerard, you rat-bastard!
  • Argent continues to not be anybody’s fool.
  • Word of advice: Don’t accept an invitation to the Argent’s family dinner.
Screenshot (71)
Shortly before they started singing “Cat’s Cradle.”
  • Again, I don’t feel like Malia would make such a poor showing here. She was pretty determined to kill her Mom before, and yet in this whole standoff, I’m not sure she gets one punch in.
  • Ouch. Clawed her right in the ovaries.
  • Unless that shard is way off in his shoulder, Stiles should probably be concerned about a punctured lung, I’m thinking.
  • Liam once again looks like he stopped off at the barber shop while he was prowling around the sewers.
  • How does that possibly belong to you, Sebastien? Your sister made it with her own blood. You just…leaned on it a little, once.
Screenshot (73)
Look, he just wants the pike his sister impaled him on so he can eat everyone with impunity. Is that so wrong?
  • Dude can wipe up the place with Scott and Liam, just from drinking out of a puddle.
  • God Damn it Corey, you are totally useless.
  • OH. SNAP. Theo just had the worst International Woman’s Day ever.
  • Glad it worked out a little better for Liam than it did for Derek.
  • Well TBH, Sheriff, Stiles probably had less to do in this story than in any other season.
  • The Skinwalkers are all “uhm…could you hurry this up a bit?”
  • Well I think it was nice to include Alison in this end montage, but it does kind of accentuate the notion that Kira is Scott’s Knives Chau and not Ramona Flowers.
  • Although this season has maybe some more inexplicable plot elements than a lot of the earlier years, I thought it was pretty good.
  • I like the atmosphere of Eichen House, although it’s hard to know by now why anyone would go there ever, when there is everything but bats hanging from the windows.
  • I think Parrish turned out to be a little of a red herring this season, since there really wasn’t some big cataclysmic battle between the Hellhound and the Beast.
  • Actually, most of the fights between them, the Beast came out looking kind of bored.
  • Kira was really the weakest link this season, and it’s probably a good idea that she goes away and gets some core competencies under her belt before she tries to be a part of the Scooby gang again.
  • Not a huge fan of Hayden as of yet, but she’s definitely improved from her start.  I guess we’ll see if she holds onto her undead-dark side.
  • Poor Theo.  Even though he was such a cool bad guy, if you think about it, virtually none of his schemes ever worked at all.
  • In large part, no doubt, due to Deucalion.  I refuse to believe a bullet could do more than slow him down, so I imagine we’ll be seeing him again someday.
  • Pretty meager storyline for Stiles overall, although maybe Dylan was busy with Scorch Trials, and they had to write around him.
  • Well, until next season, Teen Wolf.  Now back to pick up those earlier seasons I missed…

Review: “Dragon Age: Magekiller” # 4

Cover image from DarkHorse.com

Magekillers #4 continues Greg Rucka’s story of Tessa and Marius–mage-killing mercenaries set in the Dragon Age universe, at the time of Dragon Age Inquisition.

In this fourth volume of the Dragon Age side-story, Tessa and Marius seem to have become agents of the Inquisition, assigned to survey the Hissing Wastes–an area which proves to be just as unpleasant to inhabit, as it was to play.  When they discover the Venatori up to their old tricks, some familiar faces join them in an attempt to halt evil, give aid to the downtrodden, and get away from the sand.

After last month’s return to the “book-long fight structure,” this issue was a marked improvement.  Although it again centers around a huge action sequence, the involvement of a large cast and the emphasis on the combat strategy lends it added interest.  More character development is present as well, this time integrated better into the story versus delivered through voice over narration as in earlier months.  Marius in particular benefits from a subplot that reveals him as capable of becoming something more than another embittered ex-slave.

Ultimately however, the book brings back one of my favorite characters from DAI, so I’m hardly objective about it.  At its heart, I feel that this is the main appeal of the series–it gives us a little more time to spend with the world of Dragon Age and its denizens.  As long as they continue to be drawn true to life…or game…I’m all in.

Dragon Age:  Magekillers #4 release date:  March 16, 2016.

Teen Wolf, Season Five, Episode 19: “The Beast of Beacon Hills”

Screenshot (48)

Spoiler Thoughts:

  • Poor Mason. It’s not enough to be the Beast, but he has to wake up in a sewage tunnel too.
  • I feel like we saw Mason outside Eichen House trying to shut off the power while the Beast was inside, tho.
  • Is there some reason Gerard never told anyone he knows how to totally paralyze the Dread Doctors anytime he wants?
  • Why did Corey think it was a good idea to take Mason away from Scott and Liam in the first place? He can’t have really thought they were going to kill him.
  • Electro guy is not buying the mask job.
  • DEUCALION.
Screenshot (51)
I trust him.
  • He’s so smart.
  • Hm. Not sure why it looks like Gideon Emery has a droopy eyelid this episode.
  • Electro guy is not an idiot.
  • I feel your pain Parrish. I just got new tires too. Then the whole car broke down and had to be traded in…Wait, what were we doing again?
  • “I have the word ‘Hell’ in my name!  Hell!”
  • Scott has a lot on his plate. Most of it sucks.
  • Stiles finally gets to be funny again for the first time in like two years.
  • Liam is the worst in forests.
  • Scott’s healing powers not only fix his wounds, but they do dry cleaning as well.
  • Oh, I kind of think it was your fault, Corey.
  • Worst spinal tap ever.
  • I’m not so sure these are very good doctors.
  • Theo’s team building skills are taking a pounding here.
  • Now you know Theo is evil, because Gideon Emery’s voice isn’t going to get on anyone’s nerves.
  • Oh God, Kira should not be this dumb.
  • Yeah that’s right Theo. Taste of a real Alpha.
  • If I was Electro guy, I’d have been inching towards the door from the time Deucalion stood up.
  • If I was Tracy, I’d be thinking “either he puts on the mask and gets what he wants and we go hunt the beast, or the mask kills him and I don’t have to worry about him coming for me next.”
  • This Nemeton brought to you by Toyota Corolla.
  • Yeah, this doesn’t seem like a bright alliance.
  • I think it’s pretty obvious that Tracy does not want the same thing.
  • I don’t even know why Scott needed those guys. They didn’t even know it was Mason in the first place.
  • Sad that Derek isn’t here. Don’t you think someone would have asked Braeden about him by now?
  • The story of this season, is Scott’s BFFs telling not to trust Theo, and Scott doing it anyway.
Screenshot (52)
Would you buy a used car from this man?
  • Ugh. Kira. How does she possibly think she’s going to drive off and accomplish whatever and get back before everything’s over?
  • What if they just cut the tubing and ran for it with the thing still in his neck?
  • Argent, do you honestly think Gerard is not majorly playing you?
  • The only good thing is that as soon as Deucalion sees Gerard, he may forget about Scott altogether.
  • Dread Doctors laying down the sick burn on Theo.
Screenshot (54)
Rude.
  • Maybe punching a steel mask isn’t the best strategy, Theo.
  • I like how Posey and Sprayberry must have had specific limits to how many times they put on the wolf makeup written into their contracts, because Theo is the only one doing any wolfing here.
  • Ok if you had done that like 15 minutes ago, Mason, you’d all be out of there by now.
  • Braeden is too smart for this town.
  • Mrs. McCall is going to wish Scott had gotten that scholarship when she gets the repair bills after this.
  • Uhm…any reason why Braeden didn’t just unload both barrels of her never-depleted shotgun into her at that point?
  • Ok, Scott and Liam have just spent about a day’s worth of shooting, sitting by this cabinet flinching a lot.
Beast can literally not believe the naked flaming guy jumping at him.
  • This dude died, then was brought back by unholy means, but at least it gave him a nice haircut.
  • How could this guy possibly know Gerard’s last name? Does he have Mason’s memories?