Dragon Age Inquisition: Playthrough Day 8

Spoiler thoughts:

  • Storm Coast is the Seattle of Thedas.
  • Ok, I have no idea how I’m supposed to get to that grey warden place in the mountains. You’ll have to wait until another day, Blackwall.
  • Watching a huge battle between giant spiders and darkspawn, and have literally no one to root for.
  • Blackwall likes to say “that’s the end of that,” even with a full open rift over his head.
  • Man, who would have thought that sad addict in Kirkwall would turn out to be such a pain in the ass.
  • Contracts apparently work a lot better in Thedas.
  • Look, I realize they’re pieces of crap, but we can’t just kill everyone for that, Solus. There’d be no one left in Thedas.
  • Hey thanks for booking as soon as we finished your quest, Solus. I kind of thought we were going rift closing afterwards, but apparently not.
  • I haven’t seen Blackwall or Sera in Skyhold for awhile. I feel like they got that map from Harry Potter and snuck out.
  • After ripping apart two graves, I’m now wondering if I’m cleansing this eleven cemetery, or defiling it.
  • Subquest now shows up as “spoils of desecration,” so there’s that.
  • Look, man, I was just doing a really good job of cleaning out the graveyard.
  • Ok, fine. I can still get enough approval if I do all the other things. Why won’t you take my bear hides?
  • Great. Now, there is suddenly a dearth of bears in this Andraste-foresaken place.

Dragon Age Inquisition: Playthrough Day 7

Spoiler thoughts:

  • Ok, I feel like I’ve finished almost everything in the Hinterlands except a) the unknowns I don’t know how to get to, b) the shard that’s by the dragon who’s too hard still, and c) the stupid waterfall by the bridge.
  • OMG, that’s why Cole threw the turnips in the fire!
  • Finally remembered to take the upgrades off the weapons before selling them.
  • Josie dresses pretty well for someone who’s broke.
  • Ok Blackwall, time to start collecting your warden bits.
  • Varric really hates the swampy places.
  • Back to the coastal place with the difficult-to-navigate hills.
  • Unlocked the star map cave on the map, but…it…isn’t…here…
  • Oh hi Alpha Hurlock. Nice of you to invite two bears to come and join the party.
  • I keep forgetting I have that focus thing now.

Dragon Age Inquisition: Playthrough Day 5

Spoiler Thoughts:

  • SO MANY QUESTS
  • When everyone was fleeing for their lives over the mountains and snow, I’m gad someone remembered to bring the war table.
  • Also glad that Solus wasn’t going to spill on the location of this place until he started thinking people were going to lynch him.
  • Oh Alistair. Come join the Inquisition.
  • Dagna!
  • Ok, I still don’t know how to make runes, Dagna.
  • No Sandal?
  • Little bit creepy, Solus.
  • A Room of One’s Own.
  • Wow, they really fixed things up while Solas napped me.
  • Sad that Alistair never really knew who he was kicking out of Ferelden.
  • Oh Solus…I…er…like what you’ve done with the place.
  • It’s going to take another 50 hrs for me to get out of Skyhall.
  • For some reason I thought Scout Harding would be taller.
  • Cole, you are not inspiring confidence by showing up and wanting to knife people.
  • Dorian is one of those people who is a hoot, and also has some anger issues underneath the hootiness.
  • Interesting how the same number of flirting responses with each character leads to wildly different responses. Blackwall seems a little quicker than Cullen.
  • You don’t seem to get hurt in Skyhall, so it’s actually quicker to just leap off the battlements than try to find the right staircase down.
  • I guess if I saw someone leap off the battlements of a castle and then wander away aimlessly, I’d be ready to believe they were the Chosen One also.
  • Goat attack guy is my favorite.

Dragon Age Inquisition: Playthrough Day 4

Spoiler thoughts:

  • Great. Went out of town for a week, and now I barely remember the key bindings.
  • I like how we’re all “MUST SAVE LEILANA! MAKER KNOWS WHAT’S HAPPENED TO HER! Hey, what’s in this bag of flour?
  • Companions don’t talk to you all that much, just because you left them to get tortured and poisoned for a few years.
  • Man, Redcliffe Castle is good for no one.
  • Oh, wow, Leilana looks a little different than in the trailer.
  • We should maybe have picked her up a little moisturizer.
  • Well I guess a few years as blood and skin donor might take their toll on a body.
  • Damn it, Leilana.
  • Felix is kind of the big loser here, no matter which timeline.
  • Alistair!
  • Oh, Alistair, laying down the law.
  • It seems a little harsh, but then again, Alistair could say “boil all the newborns!” And I’d be all “ISN’T HE ADORBS”
  • Nooo Alistair! You don’t know who Fiona is! Oh…Damn…
  • Wait! All the approval/disapprovals scrolled by so fast, I didn’t get to read them all!
  • Dorian is a hoot.
  • Good Heavens, this is a long song about Enchanters.
  • Hm. The map missions seem to be taking a lot longer to accomplish by now.
  • Off to seal the breach! Hope this doesn’t go horribly wrong.
  • Ok, that seems a little too easy…
  • Oh, because it was too easy.
  • Wow, I’m the worst at saving the Haven townsfolk.
  • Well thanks for your support now, Roderick.
  • Oh man, I wonder if I was supposed to be looting in between aiming the thing.
  • Wait, didn’t we kill this guy in Legacy?
  • Well I hope the other three guys got out because they sure aren’t here now.
  • Ah, the “slow-walk” segment of the game.
  • Oh, singing.
  • This woman is totally going to be the next Divine.
  • Solas is all “WTF?”
  • Cliiiimb eeeevery mountaaaain…
  • How did Solas happen to know of this handy fortress just over the next hill?
  • Welcome to…Jurassic Park. No, wait…

Dragon Age Inquisition: Playthrough Day 3

Spoiler thoughts:

  • Off to Val Royeaux! Wait, what level was I supposed to be?
  • Ha. Love the vandalized statute plaques.
  • Oh, froze again.
  • Well that was unexpected.
  • Happy people.
  • Well Val Royeaux’s statues are more welcoming than Kirkwall’s, at least.
  • Ooo–I want the expensive mystery box.
  • Sera! Oh, froze again.
  • Fighting! Oh, froze again.
  • Ok, drivers updated again. Back in business!
  • Yay Sera!
  • Oh, they really don’t have pants.
  • Yay Vivienne!
  • And Cullen’s visible now! Everything’s coming up Milhouse!
  • In retrospect it’s hilarious that our seat of power is in that creepy town with the cultists and that kid who used to sing stuff.
  • I feel bad that Vivienne has to change into baggy pants now.

Dragon Age Inquisition: Playthrough Day 2

Spoiler Thoughts:

  • Good Lord, just this one horse quest has like 90 subquests. Thedas is going to be a smoking pit before I get a mount.
  • OMG, I figured out how to make a camp! I thought I was just going to wander around with my rapidly depleting health potion supply forever.
  • I’M ON A HORSE.
  • Great Googly Moogly, what kind of bears are these?
  • Rifts on the Outskirts, on the Farm, in the Woods…
  • How do you talk to people? So far, I can talk to everybody except my teammates.
  • Pretty sure this one guy just exploded, saying “what th…” And Cassandra then said “DEAD.”
  • I hate it when I accidentally walk in a fire and start incinerating.
  • I’m not even sure what we were doing with the Blood Brothers quest.
  • Solus tends to be a little late with those barriers.
  • Oh man, this one rift is kicking me to the curb.
  • Ohhhh, that’s how you talk to all of them.
  • Well the Leiliana convo could have gone better.
  • I think I lost Cullen?
  • No serious, Cullen’s totally gone.

Dragon Age Inquisition: Playthrough Day 1

Spoiler Stream of Consciousness:

  • Ready to start!
  • Oops, need to update drivers.
  • Ready to start!
  • Oops, game froze on options.
  • Ready to start!
  • Oops, forgot to import Keep data.
  • Ok, really ready.
  • Looks gorgeous.
  • I see Thedas hasn’t changed its taste in hairstyles much, over the years.
  • [Hours of customization later] Time to go!
  • Nooooo, her eyebrows look funky!
  • Wow, Cassandra looks great.
  • Especially her eyebrows.
  • Cassandra: Not the trusting type.
  • Good Lord, there are a lot of status effects.
  • I am the worst at remembering key bindings. Cassandra must wonder why I keep attacking dead bodies.
  • Well I can’t really blame Cass for being suspicious of me, when I can barely get to where she is, before she finishes a fight.
  • Ohhhh…Varric…
  • Oh hey, guess who’s failing use of the tactical camera?
  • Why does Cassandra’s health bar have wood flooring?
  • Look, I found a hat for you, Cassandra. Don’t say I never gave you anything.
  • I like how everyone’s saying how great I am, while I’m finding all these notes on how they wanted to kill me in my sleep.
  • Cuuuulllen.
  • Good Lord, it took me over an hour just to get through the prologue.